ORK!

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Re: ORK!

Postby SnakeMittens » Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:43 pm

Me am sling rocks into sour men's mouths.
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Re: ORK!

Postby Keldoclock » Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:28 pm

If the car nears any musketeers or priests, Big will smash them for the glory of Krom.

He raises his snout and bellows.

"KROM AM GIVE US VICTORY! WE AM TEAR HEARTS OF SOUR MEN FROM THEIR WEAK SHELLS! WAAAAUUUUGH!"

Big attempts to rally the Orks to attack the Sour Man formations.
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Re: ORK!

Postby knolli » Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:43 pm

The windshield is smeared with blood and gore and it's hard to see anything (6 vs. 11) and it's even harder to keep control over the Dashing Nightmare (4 vs. 6). Pork has just turned the car around to start a new charge at the Sour Men, when suddenly the humming noise stops. At least the music goes on like Bonn-o-Tron. (6 vs. 9) Pork turns around the key and hits the pedals frantically, but the Thing only comes to live for a few seconds before it goes to sleep again.
Dork leans out of the window and hurles one stone after another at the group that they have passed moments ago goes (13+2 vs. 14+2, 12+2 vs. 6+2 and 16+2 vs. 12+2). After two hits one enemy down. Last time he's been better.
Since the car is again at the far end of the battlefield, no enemies are in reach for Big's hammer or Dog's spear. But instead they have a good overview. As they look out for enemies to bash they see that there are different groups of Sour Men along the palisade. Usually the Sour Men stand in orderly lines and when they fire their boomsicks, they all do at the same moment. But the group at the right flank where the Grunks have hit them is no longer organized like that. Some soldiers just stand around and don't know what to do. "Stupid Sour Men", Big thinks. "KROM AM GIVE US VICTORY! WE AM TEAR HEARTS OF SOUR MEN FROM THEIR WEAK SHELLS! WAAAAUUUUGH!" Dog shouts: "You coward orks am come here fight! We am have Grom's gift!!" The Orks at the palisade must have heard Dog because at that moment they decide to charge. Only a handfull of Sour Men is brave enough to stay. Big and Dog also notice another group that has been waiting at the back of the battlefield until now. Now they move. Towards them.

Spork is surrounded by Sour Men soldies, but they are too surprised to do much. Spork swirles around his chainsword in wider and wider circles, cutting men in half and wounding others. (31 vs. 10, 27 vs. 11 and 17 vs. 13). Only one has the guts to attack him but his strike is slow and harmless (15. vs. 21).
Snork comes closer. He wants his share of the fun (27 vs. 18, 14 vs. 13 and 21 vs. 17). Two of the fleeing fighters of the right flank group go down.
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Re: ORK!

Postby lawmaster » Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:10 pm

Get car going and hit the sour men who are commanding and yell out "YOU AM SHUT UP ME AM KILL YOU NOW" and do as pork has yelled.
You are faced with door what do you do
I use my flamethrower
wait what you can't do that
Sure I can see
*door catches fire*
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Re: ORK!

Postby Silverdream » Sun Dec 11, 2011 7:31 pm

Sling da coward men!
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Re: ORK!

Postby SnakeMittens » Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:50 pm

Me am rip sour man's jaw off and beat them to death with it!
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Re: ORK!

Postby Killer Karetsu » Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:33 am

Me am follow and throw spear to closest sour man, den jump on another to beat and maim him!
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Re: ORK!

Postby Scottsman » Mon Dec 12, 2011 7:00 pm

SPIN TO WIN! SPIN TO WIN!
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Re: ORK!

Postby knolli » Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:22 pm

The orks from the village crash into the rest of the right flank group. Although the numbers are about even, it only is a cruel slaughter, and Snork and Spork are at the center. Snork enjoys it to the fullest as he rips a wounded sour man's jaw off and beat them to death with it (6 vs. 9)! Soon the grown Orks fight among themselves for the right to smash the last Sour Mens' heads. One Ork known as Iron Tooth commands them and the Grunks nearby: "Follow me! Attack Sour Men over there. Gold Fist am have all fun at frontgate. Me want have fun, too. GET DEM!" The meelee at the frontgate is indeed faster to reach than the reserve that is marching towards the Black Gift.

At the third attempt Pork gets the vehicle running again (11 vs. 9) After a moment he also finds the wiper again. After taht he can finally look through the screen again. Now it's time to greet the lieutenant and his reserve. Big is happy. Now he can bash again. Dog and Dork, who are looking out of the windows, prepare for impact. As soon as they get in range, Dork openes fire (19 vs. 10) and hits a musketeer, but this time they fight back. "FIRE!" A volley of bullets (17, 9, 16, 15, and 16 vs. 7, 10, 18 and 15 respectively) gets down on the Grunks, punches holes into the front lid and smashes the frontscreen. Dork and Pork are showered in shards but to their incredible luck neither is hurt. Dork has time to fire a second stone (17 vs. 9). This time he hits one with a shiny ball in his hands. Looks like he just wanted to throw that thing. Their chief yells orders in a foreign language. All ball bearers but one light the fuse on their balls, wait a moment and throw them at the black monster. (11, 4, and 9 vs. 12 ,7 and 4) One rebounds and another flies way to far, but the third one hits the roof. With a loud BOOOOM the orbs explode. They even drown out the music. That hurt. Dork, Pork and Big can't help but to cry out in pain. Dog was lucky to be shielded on his backseat.
For a moment Pork looses control before he can get the racer back on course. In a few moments he will reach the Sour Men. "YOU AM SHUT UP ME AM KILL YOU NOW".


Health points left:
Dork 3/5
Snork 5/5
Spork 3/5
Big 3/5
Pork 4/5
Dog 3/5
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Re: ORK!

Postby lawmaster » Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:57 pm

Hit the luitenent with the car and if he is still alive hit him again and again and again but if he dies open the window and shout "YOU AM NOT GOING TO KROM'S GREAT FEAST I AM HOPE YOU BE A PINECONE THAT I AM SMASH!"
You are faced with door what do you do
I use my flamethrower
wait what you can't do that
Sure I can see
*door catches fire*
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Re: ORK!

Postby Silverdream » Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:06 pm

Am I killing anyone?
------
TAKE DAH SHINY BALLS AND BASH IN DER FACES
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mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


Colette wrote:I hereby acknowledge Silverdream as the one and only forum troll as agreed in the bet.


Quantumsurfer wrote:No, I have 2 silver.
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Re: ORK!

Postby knolli » Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:18 am

Silverdream wrote:Am I killing anyone?


Not yet. The Sour Men are tougher than the Bobbitses and all of them are armored either in chainmail or cuirass. You have wounded them and made them miss their shot, but they are still able to fight. You should also know that the next blast of a Holy Hand Granade could very well be the last. You are not immortal.

You are steering the car directly into the wall of long pikes. Nasty points things. Right behind the pikeman the gunners are reloading and the grenadeers are preparing the next voley of granades. The luitenent doesn't show any signs of fear and all his men stand their ground.
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Re: ORK!

Postby Keldoclock » Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:51 am

Looks like we need to interrupt them.


I hope Dog has wings.

BIG AM THROW DOG AT GRENADIERS!
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stubby wrote:omg noob, balrogs are maiars too, don't you know anything
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Re: ORK!

Postby lawmaster » Wed Dec 14, 2011 7:14 am

pork think for second or two then he relize something, the sheep! He tells big to throw the sheep instead of dog. When he does you know what will happen BERZERK DOG RAGE! Also do as for the car drive it in a curving motion to avoid gernade balls and then slam into the people manning the genade ball fireer
You are faced with door what do you do
I use my flamethrower
wait what you can't do that
Sure I can see
*door catches fire*
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Re: ORK!

Postby Killer Karetsu » Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:00 am

NOOO! Dog am jump to kill sour men when krom's gift hits them, the Dog am save the sheep!
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NO!THERE ARE NO POLAR BEARS IN FINLAND!!!
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