Killing PedoBelugaNuker - This shit just never gets old

[beluga]

We have 2 shuttles, symmetrics issue cause the IGS can't launch unless everything's all perfectly symmetrical and shit.

Who said our first one was blown up? The state department apologizes for the incident, our secretary of defense has quite serious drinking problems.

[Ross_Varn]

Eh. The ion shell was just a transmitter. We've got our eye on Nyph, mate. Until further notice, it's under probation.

[beluga]

Second IGS has been built, civilians protesting that the govt is wasting money.

Edit: who said it was my flagship? It's completely weaponless cause it's a damned SHUTTLE! Don't you get that?

[Ogel96]

Captain McPornstar gets on the new IGS, and with a well placed bomb, blows it up.

[Warhead]

Entire Galaxies have been subjugated by The Immortal Empire, and their infrastructure, their military and industrial might are geared to war. This allows them to fight on multiple fronts with ease. And to overwhelm where it can't coerce or out manoeuvre.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Twenty-four Immortal Jeet Assault Carriers uncloak just outside of short range sensors. They flush their launch bays of their deadly cargo and a roaring cloud of Magog Strike Fighters and Darkstar Bombers flash towards the shuttles and the Nyphilis fleet. The Carriers disappear, once more cloaked in safety.

From outside any conventional engagement range the Immortal Bombers launch a missile each. These missiles accelerate out to their targets. The proximity explosion sends an EMP bursts among the Nyphilis shuttle craft before their crews have time to react. None manage to even provide a warning before being knocked out. Left as so much spinning debris the crews of the shuttles watch as 288 Immortal Fighters and Bombers change course like a shoal of deadly piranha right for the Nyphilin's main force.

The Nyphilin destroyers prepare their deadly EMP Death Cannons, while considered a Capital ship to ship weapon the EMP is still effective against fighters too, even if difficult to target individual craft. However, again the Nyphilin's are thwarted in their efforts as they watch the Immortal small craft launch once more outside their established engagement range with those infernal long range missiles. They can do nothing to avert their doom, and watch helplessly as over one thousand warheads bear down on their small fleet. Point Defence and EMP Death Canons try to avert the catastrophe but they can't stop them all and ship after ship is immolated one after the other as missile after missile impacts among them.

Without loss the Immortal Fighters turn and run for their Carriers to re-arm. Amazingly a few damaged and air bleeding Nyphilin stragglers remain, they turn and make best speed away from the Immortal Fleet... right into the waiting Cruiser screen de-cloaking behind them. Plasma discharges and Ion Canons flare between the two fleets, blotting out the Nyphilin Admirals shocked response.

When the last Nyphilin shuttle crewman chokes his last lungful of dwindling air only debris remains. An Immortal shuttle, dispatched to uncover the Nyphilin plot docks with one of the dead shuttles. Seconds later they both explode. Booby-traps protecting a races military secrets are to be expected. Safely destroying the remaining shuttles the small Immortal raiding fleet warps into hyperspace with a flash.

Silence...

[ikensall]

Aww. That's the one bad thing about my airship, it can't go into space/orbit/fucking up the pedo.

[beluga]

Oh shiiiiiiii...

That was catastrophic. The destroyers and midgetmen will be easily replaced, they're very cheap, but those shuttles are damned expensive, funny thing is the engines were probably made of the same attinium stolen from the immortals. We luckily have 2 more of those shuttles cause of the second IGS, which has already launched, but the original IGS will now have to be grounded until moar shuttles can be built. Nice time to strike, right now our fleet's really small so it'll be easy to come back from. Production of capital ships has been accelerated, battleships are ready to come off the line...

Edit: Those immortals missiles destroyed the shuttle without setting off the reactor. That would imply pinpoint precision beyond our current technology. A couple missile have been captured and taken back to the labs for study.

Wait, did the immortals just break out of Fico? Did the immortal war just truly begin?



Edit II:

Captain McPornstar gets on the new IGS, and with a well placed bomb, blows it up.

Not that simple, you think airport security's bad, the IGS is worse. First, it is located in a base so heavily armed and defended not even one of Natalya's fleets could punch through the initial layer of defenses, only if you transmit the proper code will they let you in, then near the base you must swhow your security card, proof of govt association, and go through fingerprint/iris/butt scans. All foreigners, and trust me the officers can tell, are shot on sight. The base has 60 security checkpoints where at each officers wave 20 different bomb-knife-gun-weapon detecting wands at you, you receive a thorough pat-down to make sure you aren't hiding anything invisible. Then you go through a full body scanner that could detect even one atom of explosive material. Next, you go onto the shuttle, where you are given another security check. Also, the shuttle is designed to contain any explosion up to nuclear, detonate it in the shuttle and it will fail. Finally, you enter the IGS, a fully terrorist proof vehicle.

Why all this security? Cause the IGS is worth in the trillions of dollars.

So answer? No, he didn't. The day somebody sneaks a weapon/bomb onboard the IGS is the day Rangnarok starts.

[Ogel96]

So answer? No, he didn't. The day somebody sneaks a weapon/bomb onboard the IGS is the day Rangnarok starts.

You misunderestimate Captain McPornstar. Also, I guess we're all screwed, cause Rangnarok has began. You know, that music festival with all the crappy bands?

[beluga]

No I didn't.

[Warhead]

Every ship found shall be destroyed, every populated planet exterminated. No Nyphilin shall be allowed or suffered to live, no rest but in death shall they earn...

...from Hell's heart, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!

[beluga]

Nyphilin

Wrong Empire


President Austin: We apologize for this rash attack on an innocent and blooming fellow star empire, I personally regret the mistake and all misery it may have caused to surrounding empires. A plot has been recently uncovered that my secretary of defense and my spokesperson were both groomed by pedonuker to destroy Nyphilis from the inside. We apologize for their rash decisions and actions, they have been exterminated and replaced. May I politely remind you that we too are against the pedonuker threat, and that though he once was our leader he is now our lowest criminal. Throughout his administration many innocent children were scarred for life. Though we are enemies, if the immortal empire wants to we can ship pedonuker over there for proper torture/punishment for his crimes. Indeed, as president I have declared war on all abominations allianced with pedonuker. Tyronians, NSST, and Silvarians, I apologize for all the damage my advisors have cost you, we will be willing to pay some war reparations as a formal apology. We hope existing relations have not been affected by this incident, which I did not sanction. Use of planet-destroying nukes is very unbrikwarsy and anorakish, if we war again rest be assured that it will be true combat. 

You hear that! Even pedonuker's (formerly) own empire is against him!

[Robot Monkey]

Wasn't this KoTH? Whatever.

Involuntarily starting a thread-- another thing I can scratch off of my bucket list.

[ikensall]

All foreigners are shot on sight.

If only our immigration control worked like that.

[beluga]

Foreigners are not allowed to board the IGS or be anywhere near it. Otherwise, foreigners and tourists are welcome in the Nyphilian Empire!

[Warhead]

See here's your very problem in a nutshell, someone does something awesome, and you make up some retarded pish in reply. Do you see?

I don't give a rats fuck what they're called, their genetic ID fingerprint has been logged for termination and they'll be dead soon enough.