Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse: Gaiden - Top Thread

[Rayhawk]

The Empire of Mocia is at peace once again, thanks to the jellybean powers of the Bionidor Rainbow Knights. With the Vladtron Rebellion successfully crushed, King MethHouse is back on the throne and settling in for an evening of peaceful rainbow hallucinations.

But wtf! The King's meth magic reveals that Vladtron has retreated to a distant land where he can build respectable creations in peace, without interference from the Rainbowist fanatics in Mocia. "Fuck that shit!" says King MethHouse, and summons his most loyal jellybeans: Sir Stalin the Bear, with the Strength of the Proletariat; Sir IVascus the Monkey, with the Agility of IV Asses; Sir Dogdu the Wolf, with the Wisdom of razgrizzlies; and Sir Rayho the Hawk, who is Even Faster than Your Mom.

As the jellybeans strapped on their rainbow armor, King MethHouse told them the plan:

1. Find Lord Vladtron
2. ???
3. Victory!

Edit: This battle is completed! Here are links to all of the turns:

Turn Zero
Turn One
Turn Two
Turn Three
Turn Four

[Moronstudios]

This looks promising.
So how is this game to be played?

[Leprechaun]

Im curious.

[Butthurt]

So how is this game to be played?

[IVhorseman]

This looks promising.
So how is this game to be played?

Obviously I find Lord Vladtron, using my agility. Turns out he's weak to agility.

[Warhead]

Meth skrying, ingenious.

Only two questions. When do I get to kill stuff? Will there be snacks?

[Rayhawk]

It doesn't take long for the jellybeans to discover a gathering of Vladtron enthusiasts, giddy with the possibility of freedom from Rainbowist oppression. Immediately Dogdu comes up with a cunning plan.

"IVascus and Stalin, you two go steal one of those carriages."

"What about you, monarchist running dog?" asks Stalin.

Dogdu painstakingly scratches out a complex and meaningless diagram using rocks and dirt. "There, see? Tits or gtfo."

It's an argument Stalin can't win. IVascus grabs his horse and some fruit, and the two of them head off to carriagejack a couple of Vladtron troops who had the bad luck to arrive late to the party.

[IVhorseman]

Big boy's gotta eat.

[Rayhawk]

I accidentally deleted the Turn Zero thread, so here's the new one.

Meanwhile, Turn 1 results are in for a whole bunch of players! For those who survived the first turn, we're ready for Turn 2 orders.

[Rayhawk]

Turn 2 results are finished! Ready for turn 3 orders from everyone who's still alive and hasn't posted them already.

[Leprechaun]

rayhawk let us down. empty promises. empty threats. what is this forum coming to? and now, the affliction is upon us....school.....

[IVhorseman]

Hey, I already won, I don't know about you slackers.

[stubby]

Turn 3 results are in! Everyone's battle is finished except for benkim123, who can now submit orders for Turn 4.

[Rayhawk]

Turn 4 is complete!

That's the last one, the battle is now ended.


EPILOGUE


After Stalin and IVascus's victorious wagon theft from low-ranked foot soldiers (that is to say, for everyone except the battle ending with Lord Krushchev's victory), Dogdu and Rayho return from whatever they were doing in the bushes.

Using the purple wizard's wand, Dogdu is able to quickly heal Stalin and IVascus's wounds (even the getting stomped to paste wounds), and then with his magical Rainbow Wisdom he throws the wand away, because what are the chances they'll ever need that again?

Sir Rayho reminds everyone that he's the leader, and directs Dogdu and Stalin to repair the cart while IVascus cooks up some Vladwurst to eat. Meanwhile, Rayho pretends to draft a map to the Vladtron Fortress.

Many lulz are had while joyriding around in the wagon, and the Rainbow Knights laugh every time they see allied rainbow forces getting their butts kicked by Vladtron troops while they hide safely in their wagon. Finally, Rayho remembers that they're supposed to be heading for the Fortress, but by now they're twice as far away as when they started!

Stay tuned for the epic second chapter of Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse: Gaiden!

[Butthurt]

Turn 4 is complete!

Using the purple wizard's wand, Dogdu is able to quickly heal Stalin and IVascus's wounds (even the getting stomped to paste wounds), and then with his magical Rainbow Wisdom he throws the wand away, because what are the chances they'll ever need that again?

THAT'S MESSED UP.