President Bob's New Ride

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President Bob's New Ride

Postby Theblackdog » Fri Nov 23, 2012 2:29 pm

Note: for the background on T.L.A. President Bob the Unbuilder and his cabinet, go here and here.

Shortly after President Bob the Unbuilder's inauguration in G.R. 2008...

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"Here you are, Mr. President -- the keys to the limo."

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"The fuck is this? You want me to ride around in this bullshit?"
"She does 180 kph maximum on the freeway, has a flatscreen TV, hot tub, fully stocked minibar..."

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"Well fuck THAT!"

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"Mr. President, you... you destroyed the limo!"
"Yeah. Not really seeing a problem, here."
"That cost us, like, a million dollars!"
"You spent a million dollars on that? My boys and I can build something better than that in three months, tops!"
"You can't spend your first hundred days in office building yourself a new car, Mr. President -"
"Fuck yes we can! Come on, gang, we've got us some work to do."

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And so, Bob and his cabinet dragged the pieces of the bisected limousine into their workshop in the Blay House. For the next three months the shop was completely sealed, and the screech of power tools echoed through the rest of the building. Finally, a hundred days into Bob's first term, the noises of construction stopped and a low rumble began to emanate from the shop, shaking the Blay House on its foundations. Terrified aides and tourists rushed outside and stared at the presidential residence as its front wall shook, bulged, and then blew apart...

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... and President Bob the Unbuilder's approval rating went all the way up to 100%.

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Bob's custom-built Hover Killdozer is the only vehicle of its kind in the Brikverse. Armored in concrete and solid steel, it can withstand more damage than most T.L.A. tanks. Two massive turbine engines and a dozer blade mean that the President is almost never late for press conferences. A swivel-mounted minigun on top of the hull gives him something to do when the vehicle isn't close enough to an enemy for him to jump out and start chainsawing him to pieces.

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The Secretary of Defense and the Secretary of Education typically ride on top, while the Secretary of Offense and the Director of Homeland Security hang precariously from the sides, slicing and shooting at any foes who come too close.

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The Hover Killdozer is driven by the Secretary of Transportation. As with all Killdozers, the driver is sealed inside the control cabin; there is no exit hatch. There are air, water, and food recyclers, so it's not like he'll starve or anything. All in all, he doesn't seem to mind spending the rest of his life at the controls of a nigh-invincible killing machine.

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I may change the black cheese wedges filling in the gaps near the engines to gray or yellow ones later.

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Closeup on the minigun turret and Bob's seat.
Just one random act of violence can brighten your day. Especially if it involves explosives.

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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby mgb519 » Fri Nov 23, 2012 3:30 pm

Ah, such a beautiful homage this is.
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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Alex » Fri Nov 23, 2012 8:15 pm

Nice killdozer! My approval of Bob the Unbuilder also went up 100%. :belushi:
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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby 501stCadians » Fri Nov 23, 2012 8:27 pm

Theblackdog wrote:"Fuck yes we can! Come on, gang, we've got us some work to do."

Read that-

Heard this.
IVhorseman wrote:I'm the Several Hundred Dollar Man!

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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Natalya » Fri Nov 23, 2012 9:57 pm

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I'll be a star that shines, I can make the whole world mine‼"


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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Whiteagle » Sat Nov 24, 2012 2:24 am

Excellent, now all it needs is a trailer hitch to tow a wagon full of Mexican/Peach day-laborers/Cannon-fodder!
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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Silverdream » Sat Nov 24, 2012 2:58 am

President BoB and his cabinet are the best possible thing.
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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Colette » Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:07 am

Sounds like someone is NOT being invited to Trattorian press conferences...

(Actually, this thing is really awesome. Funny concept and good execution, the only thing I could ask for is maybe some treads.
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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Tzan » Sat Nov 24, 2012 12:05 pm

Hover treads.
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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Theblackdog » Sat Nov 24, 2012 12:09 pm

Colette wrote:Sounds like someone is NOT being invited to Trattorian press conferences...

(Actually, this thing is really awesome. Funny concept and good execution, the only thing I could ask for is maybe some treads.


I think I have a total of one tread in my collection that is not currently attached to a vehicle.
I could make a motorcycle killdozer ... :twisted:
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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby DeltaV » Sat Nov 24, 2012 3:19 pm

Theblackdog wrote:
Colette wrote:Sounds like someone is NOT being invited to Trattorian press conferences...

(Actually, this thing is really awesome. Funny concept and good execution, the only thing I could ask for is maybe some treads.


I think I have a total of one tread in my collection that is not currently attached to a vehicle.
I could make a motorcycle killdozer ... :twisted:

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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Brikboyz » Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:12 pm

The Mechanis Empire's Board of Locomotion would like to make a contract with Bob the Unbuilder. :D
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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Whiteagle » Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:15 pm

Tzan wrote:Hover treads.

Speaking of, how far apart do those small tread wheels need to be?

...Thinking of possibly making some mechanized artillery that'd hop on and off the cars of the pain train.
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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Theblackdog » Sun Nov 25, 2012 9:33 am

If you're using the old three-stud-wide rubber treads instead of the newer chain-linked plastic ones, they're a little over 5" long.
Just one random act of violence can brighten your day. Especially if it involves explosives.

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Re: President Bob's New Ride

Postby Kalvinator » Sun Nov 25, 2012 11:51 pm

badagle wrote:
Tzan wrote:Hover treads.

Speaking of, how far apart do those small tread wheels need to be?

...Thinking of possibly making some mechanized artillery that'd hop on and off the cars of the pain train.

What is this pain train you speak of?
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