hand in your mancard

Since the dawn of time, one genre of music has dominated and ruled with an iron fist

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Postby Warhead » Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:58 am

Just to show it's not only men who do these things.

Mrs Warhead and I were looking in a music store for some stuff. We had got separated as we both have different tastes in music. Shortly after I look round from a likely purchase to find her next to me with a look of almost panic. She says she'd like to leave right now! No explanation, then the smell hits me. I look round, there is a guy nearby looking into the middle distance and trying not to gag. We left immediately.

Now, thinking back, did the guy think...

5) Man, that guy's wife made him leave the shop after he shat his pants!

or

6) Man, those two think I just shat my pants, it wasn't me!

or

7) Bloody hell, that little woman just dropped the bomb!
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Motherfucker!
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Postby Keldoclock » Mon Aug 30, 2010 1:37 am

I'm thinking he thought

Collect now-soiled underpants
Inhale
Induce coma
???
Profit
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Postby stubby » Mon Aug 30, 2010 2:15 am

BrikWhore wrote:
stubby wrote:So it's because of a couple nights ago, when I was able, in a casual manner, to summon forth an epic fart directly on her face. Long story.

I would have killed Shadowscythe for that!!!

It was this event that finally made her realize that she is the meek and ineffectual Dr. Wilson to my ever-victorious Dr. House.

I had stepped away from my computer for a minute, and when I came back she had stolen it, claiming "it's just to check my e-mail, then I'll give it right back." I was immediately suspicious, and disbelieved completely when I saw the glow of the monitor change from gmail white to messageboard blue. Sure enough, on review, she'd closed the email and was checking the million posts on her Justin Timberlake fangirl board instead. (I don't even need to explain to you the number of levels on which that is COMPLETELY unacceptable.) I challenged her on this detail, and she tried to claim that messageboarding counts as email.

At this point, I clearly had no choice but to follow a scorched-earth policy of gas-bombing the computer area, rendering it unfit for any human use. If I can't use my own computer, no one can! It was just lucky coincidence that her head happened to be stationed at a particular height, and that she happened to be turning and opening her mouth to start spouting some new backstreet-boys-sympathizer slogan at me right at that particular moment. The fart was epic, and stinky, and loud, and wet, and all of these features and more were described by her in repeated detail over the course of the next twenty-four hours as I continued laughing my ass off.
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Postby Warhead » Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:26 pm

Computer jacking is a problem I have had too, even Mini-Warhead thinks he can park his rump on the old man's seat to check out the CBBies sites when I'm away for a slash. I shall attempt this shock and awe solution in future. they shall rue the day.
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Postby Tuefish » Mon Aug 30, 2010 1:12 pm

The news wrote:tonight at seven, the amazing true story of the tragic housefire that burned down an entire Scotland neighborhood and how it was caused by one man's flatulence and his flaming head. Then at seven-thirty, we interview the survivors for the first time anywhere on cable television.
"If someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back." -Malcolm Reynolds
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Postby BrikWhore » Mon Aug 30, 2010 1:15 pm

stubby wrote:
BrikWhore wrote:
stubby wrote:So it's because of a couple nights ago, when I was able, in a casual manner, to summon forth an epic fart directly on her face. Long story.

I would have killed Shadowscythe for that!!!

It was this event that finally made her realize that she is the meek and ineffectual Dr. Wilson to my ever-victorious Dr. House.

I had stepped away from my computer for a minute, and when I came back she had stolen it, claiming "it's just to check my e-mail, then I'll give it right back." I was immediately suspicious, and disbelieved completely when I saw the glow of the monitor change from gmail white to messageboard blue. Sure enough, on review, she'd closed the email and was checking the million posts on her Justin Timberlake fangirl board instead. (I don't even need to explain to you the number of levels on which that is COMPLETELY unacceptable.) I challenged her on this detail, and she tried to claim that messageboarding counts as email.

At this point, I clearly had no choice but to follow a scorched-earth policy of gas-bombing the computer area, rendering it unfit for any human use. If I can't use my own computer, no one can! It was just lucky coincidence that her head happened to be stationed at a particular height, and that she happened to be turning and opening her mouth to start spouting some new backstreet-boys-sympathizer slogan at me right at that particular moment. The fart was epic, and stinky, and loud, and wet, and all of these features and more were described by her in repeated detail over the course of the next twenty-four hours as I continued laughing my ass off.



& this is why Shadow has his own puter desk & laptop... his arse has a life of its own at the best of times!
Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob!!
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Postby severalcatsdancing » Mon Aug 30, 2010 2:53 pm

Never had one. I'm good.
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I THREW IT ON THE GROUND

I'M NEVER ONLINE.
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Postby DarthBrik » Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:25 pm

Well i had to use a sewing machine to make my Boba Fett ammo belt :oops:
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Postby Butthurt » Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:35 pm

stubby wrote:
BrikWhore wrote:
stubby wrote:So it's because of a couple nights ago, when I was able, in a casual manner, to summon forth an epic fart directly on her face. Long story.

I would have killed Shadowscythe for that!!!

It was this event that finally made her realize that she is the meek and ineffectual Dr. Wilson to my ever-victorious Dr. House.

I had stepped away from my computer for a minute, and when I came back she had stolen it, claiming "it's just to check my e-mail, then I'll give it right back." I was immediately suspicious, and disbelieved completely when I saw the glow of the monitor change from gmail white to messageboard blue. Sure enough, on review, she'd closed the email and was checking the million posts on her Justin Timberlake fangirl board instead. (I don't even need to explain to you the number of levels on which that is COMPLETELY unacceptable.) I challenged her on this detail, and she tried to claim that messageboarding counts as email.

At this point, I clearly had no choice but to follow a scorched-earth policy of gas-bombing the computer area, rendering it unfit for any human use. If I can't use my own computer, no one can! It was just lucky coincidence that her head happened to be stationed at a particular height, and that she happened to be turning and opening her mouth to start spouting some new backstreet-boys-sympathizer slogan at me right at that particular moment. The fart was epic, and stinky, and loud, and wet, and all of these features and more were described by her in repeated detail over the course of the next twenty-four hours as I continued laughing my ass off.


nooooooooooo you told them I was Wilson!! :( :( :( Also this one wasn't the Justin Timberlake board and nooooooooooooooo you told them about that tooooooo. nooooooooooo
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Postby Silent-sigfig » Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:24 pm

WIILLLLLLLSOOOOOOOON!
BFenix wrote:
Silent-sigfig wrote: :dog:

Coolest 1000th post ever :D
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Postby aoffan23 » Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:32 pm

Silent-sigfig wrote:WIILLLLLLLSOOOOOOOON!


:ftw:
Tzan wrote:
Quantumsurfer wrote:I generally agree with Tzan
Warhead wrote:I agree with QuantumSmurfer.



I agree with Warhead.
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Postby BrikWhore » Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:09 am

Shadowscythe doesn't have a penis


oh no


he has another hand.... holding a gun!
Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob!!
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Postby Silent-sigfig » Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:47 pm

Must be awkward.
BFenix wrote:
Silent-sigfig wrote: :dog:

Coolest 1000th post ever :D
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Postby Keldoclock » Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:21 am

Fingering.

That is all.
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Postby BrikWhore » Wed Sep 01, 2010 11:55 am

in my defence he asked me to say that
Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob!!
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