MANLY TALES - GETTING DOWN WITH YOUR BADASS.

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Postby Lt. Krus » Thu Jan 06, 2011 5:49 pm

My manliest recess was about in 6th or 7th grade. It wasn't really recess, it was gym, but fuck it. So we were playing CTF because my gym teacher was cool like that, and so my team was winning about 7-2 or something crazy like that, and so the latest round ends, and I'm talking with a friend from the other team in the 1 minute break between rounds and I was bragging (but in a friendly way) and we were punching each other in the shoulder, and some punk-ass doof walks up to me and pushes me back a little, so I push him down saying "Don't touch me" and so then he gets back up, tries to push me again, I dodge, and push him down on him face. He gets up again. so before he tries to do shit I grab the back of his head, punch him in the stomach, and throw him down to the ground face-first. He had to get an MRI, and I had to go to public school. Best day of my life, no sarcasm, privet school sucked. Plus the little pussy deserved it.
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Postby Tzan » Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:50 pm

Pfff MRI because he fell 4 feet.

I played football and was practicing kickoff coverage. I was first to the return guy and tried to hit him with my shoulder pad but he shifted a bit and my arm hit him, which is useless.

The coach then teaches me a good lesson. He picks me up, flips me upside down and drops me on my head.

I had a helmet, but boy the joke would have been on him if my scrawny neck snapped.

This particular coach wore shorts, which showed off his scars from the shark attack. :)
I guess in this story the coach is the badass.
Last edited by Tzan on Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Warhead » Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:53 pm

:shock: Now THAT is a manly guy, he probably got bit trying to shag the shark to death.
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Postby Robot Monkey » Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:18 pm

Silverdream got beat up? How unexpected. [/sarcasm]

Anyway, I have a story.

Back in fourth grade, I got in a fight with this kid whom we had hated each other's guts since Kindergarten. He had one of his cronies bring me over, saying he was going to apologize for all of the crap over the years. Instead when I arrive, two other cronies throw milk cartons full of rocks at me. (I dunno, trying to mimic a grenade?) I dodge them, and then the main asshole charges at me, dual-wielding plastic knives from the cafeteria. I then pulled a paperclip, unfolded it and wrapped it around my fingers, with both points forward (Imitating a brass knuckle) we engage in a fight, and he drops both knives rather quickly in exchange for fists. He comes out bruised and bleeding, and I barely had a scratch. Sure, we both got suspended for that, but it was worth it.
Last edited by Robot Monkey on Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Robot Monkey » Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:30 pm

Silverdream wrote:To be honest, I was a bastard for all of kindergarten-Grade 8. I used to be a bully and beat this kid up every day. I would verbally abuse everyone that I wasn't the best of friends with.


Hard to see that happening, you're such a nice guy.
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Postby Ex-Lep » Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:03 pm

spartan117 wrote:third ex-lep, if you hadnt won then who is talking now? :shock:

well if i hadnt won, i wouldve used my belt to cut the circulation then call 911. so i would still be alive, just minus some appendages. and thus it would be me talking.
on another note, i edited my first story.
Last edited by Ex-Lep on Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Natalya » Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:32 pm

Okay so one night I was in downtown Atlanta, going to my car in a parking garage at my university. I was alert because every now and then there are hobos in the parking garages who try to break in cars or steal peoples money or whatever. I think one girl got snuggled too. My university is pretty close to a big hospital and Auburn Avenue which is like the ghetto street. It used to be on its way up (and that's where MLK's birth home is) but now it's not really going up so much. Probably the other direction.

Anyway, so, I get out of the stairs and I'm walking over towards where my car was parked, when I see some guy (probably homeless) come out from behind one of the car ramp things, walking straight towards my car... At first I'm like "fuck I figured" because my car is a mustang and I got black window tint so it looks hood, so like of course he's gonna go to my car, right? So as I'm walking there I'm like "Hey! Fuck off!" At first he was startled, but then he turns and sees me and is like "what are you gonna do about it?" or something? It's hard to understand these guys some times. So, right then is when you lost the game.
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Postby Ex-Lep » Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:34 pm

wait, so what happened then? did you stab him? run him over? fisticuffs?
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Postby Nitewatchman » Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:22 am

My man-story....eh. I was never one for fighting people, but I have always been one to give the bird to "the establishment", or any authority that I thought was bogus and undeserving.

I think the most manly things I have done are things like chopping down trees, doing crazy things in the large dart gun wars I often participate in, and just using chainsaws/manquipment in general.

But, since everyone's telling playground stories, I have one from the classroom.

Like I said, I've never been one to fight other kids, but there have always been those mean-spirited, douche bag teachers in America's public school system that I just can't stand; the kind that, instead of being above rude comments and witty remarks, choose to make them at sixth-graders and look oh-so-smug about it.

So in sixth grade, near the end of the first semester, I'm in math class. My teacher was this big fat lady named Mrs. Fatty Fat or something ironic like that. Even more ironically, she raised pigs. I HATED this woman because she was really just a mean person. On top of being mean to every else, she especially hated me, because I don't put up with rude comments from someone who is supposed to be there to teach me.

Anywho, I'm sitting here in her class, doing my work after I hadn't been for a few days, since it was easy math and she had been getting on my nerves a lot more than she normally did. I called her over to my desk when she was walking around helping the other kids because I was having trouble with a problem and, after all, she was the math teacher. So she gets over, sees I've done over half my work and chuckles and says, "Oh, actually doing your work today?"

This wasn't that cute, jovial sort of comment; it was the kind that ended with an eyeroll as if to say, "Ha, this kid is doing what he's supposed to, but he's still such a retard."

I immediately shut my book and stopped working. She walked off, and class went on like Bonn-o-Tron. When there was only about ten minutes left in class, she was sitting at her desk and everyone was finishing up their work. By this time, I had started working again.

So I'm sitting at my desk like a good little kid, doing math problems and waiting for the bell to ring, all the while listening to Mrs. Fatty Fat Fat have some sort of conversation with some of her teacher's pets. And then, out of no-where, she makes a joke about me. Even raising her voice so I can hear it. My first thought was, "I'm going to take this pencil and jam it in her eye" but, after considering the face that I wasn't so far from going to a juvenile detention center, I decided to just leave...but I was not just going to walk out. I stood up, grabbed my chair-desk combo, and hurled it at her. Being that I was in sixth grade, it didn't clear her desk; but it did push it against the wall and give me time to walk out the door, down the hall, down the stairs, and out of the school. I would've just gone home, but they called a truancy officer who picked me up and took me back to that hell-hole.

That's my example of manliness. Manly by stickin' it to The Man.
Silverdream wrote:MOST UNLIKED BY SILVERDREAM
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Postby Ex-Lep » Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:25 am

And now for something completely different.
That is to say, all stories so far have been wiki'd
will update.
thats all for tonite.
Last edited by Ex-Lep on Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Ross_Varn » Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:08 am

Hrm.

Having attended Public School for half a semester, I have concluded that I must not be manly enough for you guys.

Hey wait, what about that one time... :)

Right, onto it then!

A few years ago, about the time that I joined the forums, I was attending Public School in the seventh grade. It sucked. Hardcore.

I ended up getting recess offered to my class after I asked around about it on the first day. Apparently that was strange, seventh grade hadn't been allowed on the playground before. So, I make friends with a black kid, straight A student, a "army brat" who's probably moving at the end of the year [as usual], and Queen Goth, who apparently really liked clueless me. I get into a strange relationship with Chad, the lead "bully" of the class. He doesn't really do anything bad, he just verbally preys on you, right? You know the type.

After a couple months of this crap, even King Clueless myself can see that Chad and his couple of friends are bad news, right? I've made sure not to get on his bad side, but he's said nasty stuff anyway, the typical "all of your friends hang out with you because they feel sorry for you because you have no friends" :twisted: twisted logic that bullies get into. Eventually, one lunch hour- we had lunch in the classrooms without adult supervision- him and I are standing at the front of the room. I had just beat his scrawny ass in basketball, and he was pissed off, and verbally taking it out. I'm just standing there. Eventually, the ten-ish other half of the class that are still in the room notice that we're going at it, and they cluster around. He says something snarky, and I clench my fist. Hunter [no joke, that was Chad's toadie's name] grins as he sees this and starts chanting "Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight"

Chad grins at me and starts to move forward. I tilt my head to one side, look directly in his eyes, and yell "Hey Cam!" Queen Goth looks up and blinks. She was one tall, heavyset girl. She gets up and heads directly for Chad as the crowd starts to break up and Chad attempts to back away. Cam gets directly in his face and goes completely off topic, berating him about why she can't stand jackasses like himself attempting to rile things up. I sit down and continue eating my lunch as he makes an excuse and disappears.

So no, not the most manly story ever, but I certainly handled it well. Mum and Dad would have been positivly horrified if I ended up in fisticuffs, and that would have just given the brat what he wanted in the first place. I ignored him until I finally left a few months later.

And apparently they had a gun threat a year ago when one of the high school students posted a "hit list" on their Facebook.

Go figure. :? Pick your fights, my friends.
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Postby Rody » Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:08 am

I'm afraid I won't be able to entertain you with a good story here.
I'm enough of a pacifist IRL that at my most badass I'm avoiding or diffusing potential fights.

the weirdest time that happened was when was just minding my own business while walking towards the train station.
and suddenly this marocan wannabe gangsta guy comes up to me and says something like
"alright you fucker, I'm here now, so let's get this fight started"
while removing his jacket and cracking his knuckles and shouting insults at me and everything.
so I, being quite confused by the whole ordeal, ask him why.
apparently some guy that looked a lot like me (at this time he was still convinced it was me), had set up a fight with him after greatly insulting the guy, only to not show up.
I somehow manage to calmly convince the guy that I was not the person, and suddenly the dude starts to appologise and starts telling me his life story, like how he had just gotten out of prison and how I'm a nice guy that he respects and bla bla blablabla. after he finished talking I say goodbye and leave this nutcase as I continue towards the railway station.

so yeah, not manly per se, but I do feel that solved quite well.
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Postby Arkbrik » Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:02 am

Ok, this is the manliest thing you'll ever get out of me.

It was in 6th grade (might be another grade in other countries, I was 12 at the time anyways) and I had just discovered the joys of roleplaying games. So I was playing with a few friends, when this asshole walks up, along with his underling (more of a dumbass than an asshole). They start insulting us and soon enough it escalates to violence. The asshole orders the dumbass to take on my friends (one on three) while he goes for me (one on one).

I've never been much of a fighter, but it turns out there is a god or karma or something. I don't know exactly how, but I overpower the asshole and he hits the wet gravel face first. He pulls himself up and staggers away, his dumbass following. My friends and I resume our game.

I later learned that he ran off to the teacher and told her that I beat him up. But I never got any reprimands for this, he had been an asshole to everyone including the teachers so I guess they felt he had it coming.
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Postby Keldoclock » Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:02 pm

In middle school, I had a few fights with this kid called Joseph. Everyone was fine with it, because Joseph was an annoying dick. He reported me to the police. I now have a criminal record.
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Postby Warhead » Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:09 pm

Not if your under 16 you don't, not really. It all falls off and gets discounted unless it is seriously serious stuff like murder or unnatural libidinous sexual acts. Well, in this country anyway. The view is that kids are too stupid to know what they're doing yet. Hey, it's not my personal view... it's the official view of Scottish Law.
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