MANLY TALES - GETTING DOWN WITH YOUR BADASS.

[Ross_Varn]

My dad managed to slice his finger on the tablesaw we have once. That was a fun night. He bought a pushstick after that.

[Tzan]

Yeah a friend of mine in highschool sliced his thumb to the bone on a table saw. The blood was on the ceiling.

A few weeks later one of the "tough" kids asked me to cut some wood on it for him. Which showed a rather surprising level of intelligence on his part. He knew his limitations and asked for help, smart. I wonder if he is in prison now?

[Rody]

I had just missed the train to go to aikido practice, so I went home.
at home I noticed that it looks quite gezellig at my neighbours place, so I decide to go there instead.

I found out they were talking/doing homework/watching pr0n.
after some time all homework was done so it just turned into a conversation with pr0n constantly in the background.
that night also happened to be ladies night at our student bar, so one of the guys decides to view that as a theme we should follow...
naturally this meant that the other guys had their nails done, and one of them started trying on a pink nurse fetish costume one of the girls had.
at this point I was laughing my ass off... till they noticed that I was not "girlified"
I had fairly long nails at the time so the girls decide to give me a french manicure.
it was at this time that the dude, who temporarily tried the nurse suit on, left. (lucky bastard)
this leaves me with three girls and one other guy who is now putting a bikini on himself and stuffing it with socks.
followed by a pink dress.
as they had mostly ignored me in favour of putting make-up on that dude, I was again laughing my ass off. this was a mistake.
I had to wear a blue dress, fake boobs (socks in a bikini), my face got brutally changed (lipstick, eyeliner and some powdery stuff) and I had to wear a clip in my hair.
also, what kind of torturer invented eyelash curlers? I could hardly imagine women using that voluntarily.
roughly at this point I already realised that there was no way I was going trough this night sober.

...
memory is sort of fuzzy at this point, though I distinctly remember drinking at least some vodka, some cocktails, some wine, a pitcher of beer, dropshots and some mistery drink which ended up being more vodka and some tequila.
the overall state of drunkenness sort of made me start whore-dancing and I had amazing fun seeing the faces on the guys who tried to hit on me, only to realise I was a guy after I they heard my voice. (apparently the make-up combined with my long hair made it ambiguous or something)

[Rody]

well the problem is, for the manliest story I have, you had to be there to get it.
the rest I either can't remember or they're things like me accidentally bashing my head against the wall as hard as I could, or hopping on one foot faster than the guy who ran away with my shoe.
and not as much a good story to tell.

[Killer Karetsu]

I have two stories for thee.

Years back, when I still lived on the more central Finland (now near Helsinki, the capital) I played hide and seek in a nearby forest. I had a pretty good place, in the middle of 4 quite small pines. After a few moments I feeled something crawling up my leg and then I saw that nearby was an ant nest (not any "dangerous ones", but their bites are still nasty and they smell bad) and there were dozens of them at the ground near me and the one bastard in my leg. First I waited for it go away but then it bit me. I smashed it. But then I suddenly saw the seeker of the game and he goes so near me that I can't make any sounds while the ants bite and crawl about me (of course I wore sandals then, did it never again in the woods) and after a few seconds the seeker left and I left the spot, covered in many ant bites. This might be the reason why I have a "fobia" against ants.

Other one was in a zoo where I looked at the wolves behind a fence. Then one of them goes nearer to me and starts to stare me. Fist I'm scared but then I think "There is a fence between me and it" and stare back. After some seconds the wolf turns and goes back to it's group. Not sure if this was manly cos I'm not sure that was the wolf afraid of me.

[*CRAZYHORSE*]

Then you must have a bigger fobia of seekers because you thought not getting found was more important then getting bit by your ants.

[Natalya]

Okay cutting yourself by accident isn't "manly" or whatever. I was soldering something and molten metal fell on my leg once. Sure I still have a scar where the skin was burned off today 6 years later but it's not a big deal. Everyone gets hurt really bad every once in a while.

[RoC77]

I drunkenly jumped off the back of a moving pick-up truck....

[Natalya]

How'd that work for you?

[ForlornCreature]

I would post the rough anecdote I made of my experience with the flood, but it's not very manly and there are tears involved. I feel really guilty aboout haveing to shove my galah into a box while he bit me and screeched and feathers went everywhere.

[aoffan23]

Making it out of a natural disaster healthy and sane sounds pretty manly to me.

[ForlornCreature]

My new default reply to everything.

[aoffan23]

The flooding of Iraq will kill Saddam Hussein.

.....

Someone update this guy on world news.

[ForlornCreature]

Burn the flood. Light it on fire with gasoline and then the water will evaporate because the fire will boil it. Then get out a few fans and blow the clouds into Iraq. The flooding of Iraq will kill Saddam Hussein.

[Keldoclock]

I once jumped out of a(slowly) moving school bus via emergency exit (was like 9 at the time and the damn bus driver kept missing my stop), but it wasn't very manly.