by LesUndead » Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:44 am
Disjointed coverage of my first BrikWars grand battle:
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These are the Jar-Jars, lead by some sort of calvary officer.
They drop out early in the game, for <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jar+Jar+Binks&r=f">obvious reasons</a>.
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These are the unfinished Undead Nazis,
lead by an armoured Count Dracula.
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This is the dapper bomber (far right) and his assorted crew.
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These are the ninjas lead by their suicidal leader, The Grey One.
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These are the Harry Potters, lead by their brave Tuskan Raider
captain and his laser-shooting turban.
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This is the Chernobyl baby and the mini-Chernobyl baby, who live...
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In this castle.
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The Harry Potters start off fighting the ninjas.
They do pretty well in the beginning, and even shoot the head off one!
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Then they try to jump off their high ground to get in the fighting.
This one lands on his own buzzsaw and is sawed in half.
Two more Harry Potters fall and die due to that same buzzsaw.
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The Tuskan Raider captain and his laser turban join the fight.
Now they're really fucked. He charges up his laser and...
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Explodes, killing everyone in the immediate area.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the battlefield...
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A calvary captain awakens The Mummy, who proceeds to dismember him.
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A clone trooper jackhammers the anus of one of two recently
raised-from-the-dead skeletons who are busy... fighting?
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The dapper bomber creams his pants.
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His base of operations is appropriately renamed.
Some time passes, and...
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Dracula takes pity on the last of the Harry Potters,
biting him and giving him vampiric powers.
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He then takes his prize (Catwoman). Their offspring is a Jar Jar,
who is chained up and later thrown in a river to drown.
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The Grey One, taking into account all this madness,
does the only sane thing and commits sepuku.
Unfortunately, it does not kill him and he
spends the rest of the game limping around.
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The game ends when the dapper bomber is launched from his dapper cannon (not pictured),
unleashing the full extent of his dapper powers. All parties subsequently drop their weapons,
join hands in a circle around the Chernobyl baby, and start singing <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPOBMzMTP4U">Waiting on the World to Change</a>.
At its conclusion, everyone creams their pants (not pictured).