How do I get cults to like me?

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How do I get cults to like me?

Postby Silverdream » Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:39 pm

My cult is usually emotionally and physically distant from me. Whenever I want cuddles or kisses I have to track her down and she doesn't like it. How do I make it so she loves me and only me?
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby samuelzz10 » Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:43 pm

cut the cult's arms and legs off. THEN THERE WILL BE NO ESCAPE
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby The Shadowscythe » Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:19 pm

Turn it into a helicopter.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby Natalya » Tue Jun 18, 2013 9:49 pm

You guys are fucked up.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby The Shadowscythe » Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:01 pm

Natalya wrote:You guys are fucked up.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Kslv7l75jQ

Hey, it wasn't my idea.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby Silverdream » Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:12 pm

I don't want a dead cult, I want one that will love me and cuddle me.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby Kalvinator » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:06 am

From what I've heard...that is an impossible request.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby Arkbrik » Wed Jun 19, 2013 2:26 am

Kalvinator is right. Get a dog.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby Zupponn » Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:12 am

Yep what is true has been said in the last 2 posts. I am done here.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby mgb519 » Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:19 am

Guess what? I made it happen. So fuck off.

First of all, you must be the one feeding her. If you're not the one filling her food dish (make sure she sees) then you may as well not bother. Second, you wait till she's wandering around, and then you hold your hand out and make sounds to get her attention. Thumping one of your hands on the ground may help, or having a tiny bit of ham or something handy. If she approaches you, you pet her as slowly and softly as possible. This will help bonds to form.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby Ben-Jammin » Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:34 am

I've found that if you have a fish tank in your bedroom, (even a small one) your cult will always want to be with you.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby samuelzz10 » Wed Jun 19, 2013 10:03 am

Kalvinator wrote:From what I've heard...that is an impossible request.
FUN FACT: I have a harder time being friends with a cult person than an atheist. Liking cults says a lot about one.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby IVhorseman » Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:20 am

Wait, you don't like Atheists?

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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby samuelzz10 » Fri Jun 21, 2013 2:43 pm

IVhorseman wrote:Wait, you don't like Atheists?

Only if they're assholes about it, and tell you having faith is wrong and stupid. Just being an atheist is fine though.
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Re: How do I get cults to like me?

Postby Arkbrik » Fri Jun 21, 2013 3:41 pm

I'm OK with cult people as long as they don't tell me not having a cult is wrong and stupid. Why you hatin?
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