The Dump Thread

[Tzan]

In a related story at the same campground, my friend saw some people roasting marshmallows. OK no big deal right?

Well those dopes had no firewood so they broke up slats of that red snow fence you see in some places. Red snow fence is a pressure treated wood which is pumped full of poisonious chemicals so that it doesn't rot away.
Chromated copper arsenate mallows, Mmmm yum.

[Warhead]

Mmm, just the way nature intended... Survival, it's not for everyone.

[severalcatsdancing]

*takes a dump*

WHAT? You said dump thread.

[Tarren]

I have heavy shit. 80% of the time I clog the toilet all the time.

And it has become pretty common that I have to cut it apart with a metal knife. I keep one in the bathroom for that purpose. It sorta looks like some shark mauling a guy and all the blood floating to the top of the water. Except it's poop.

[aoffan23]

I have hemorrhoids.

[Warhead]

I hate it when there's a blockage and a pocket of gas builds up behind the turd and you finally go and it gets shot out like a bullet and hits the water causing such a splash that it water-spouts up your butt hole, that's never pleasant.

[Rody]

I hate it when there's a blockage and a pocket of gas builds up behind the turd and you finally go and it gets shot out like a bullet and hits the water causing such a splash that it water-spouts up your butt hole, that's never pleasant.

I hate it when that happens.

[naussica]

On that subject, when my dad was a lifeguard at his high school, there was someone who shat everywhere, but the toilet. And he was always pt on janiter duty. They called the guy "the mad shitter."

Life is wierd.

[ShapeShifter]

correction, wierd is life.

[Warhead]

Speaking of bowl problems, hi Shapeshifter.

[razgriz 25th inf.]

time for the link song! "when you can't find a page, what do you do? well I'll tell yoooooouuuuuuu. you get a link. yes a link! you get a link and get there faster! you get a link. yes a link. you get a link annnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddd........ get there fasterrrrrrrrrrrrr!" anyway, heres something you must all read. tl;dr? read it. http://www.snipeme.com/misc.php?loc=shit

[Warhead]

That's some freaky shit but the guy was a pussy, if it ever happened.

I can't YouTube it (YouTube-Absolutely-Frank Hovis on the Lavatory) but this story always gets me laughing. I'll try to do it from memory but it's better with Franks accent.

Hello' Frank Hovis here.

I was at the local pub when I had a bit of a problem the other day and had to run for the lavatory, but the Gents Toilet was out of Order! So I said to the Barman, what'll I do? He said use the ladies... but they wouldn't sit still. So, there I am ladies and gentlemen and the matter is getting quite serious, quite serious indeed. So I run outside and jump into the back of a cab. He says where to? Well, I just tell him to drive but by this time a titanic struggle was occurring in my trousers and the pooh had the weight advantage. So I did the unthinkable, and crapped in the back of the cab... I'm not proud of the fact, no, but there we are... and there it was, coiled on the seat like a huge python ready to strike, hissing slightly. I must say ladies and gentlemen the smell! The Smell was unbearable, so I told the driver to stop and got out, I gave him a tenner (£10) like, well actually it was a fiver (£5) that I'd wiped my arse with but the thought was there see. I did give him a tip though. I said, clean out the back of your cab someone's taken a huge crap in it.

[ShapeShifter]

Speaking of bowl problems, hi Shapeshiter.

fix'd

[aoffan23]

Speaking of bowel problems, hi Shapeshitter.

fix'd

Fix'd your fix.

Also fix'd Warhead's misconception that you are a dish.

[Warhead]

I think it's my Vowels not my Bowels I'm having trouble with.