I shouldn't be allowed on the bus... Or out for that matter.

[Warhead]

All in a weeks work.

Honest accident.

While on the bus I was getting off at the next stop and grabbing the handle bars as I went to the front so I didn't go flying on my arse as the bus trundled through the Beirut like potholed streets of Glasgow. I passed two women talking to each other across the bus isle and as my hand, which was now behind me let go of the bar and was swinging back down to my side, already anticipating grabbing the next handle the woman on that side leaned in to carry on her conversation as I passed and my hand crashed into her head and slammed her face into the metal handlebar on the seat back in front of her. Oops.

But, there's more.

I was waiting for a bus which didn't show. I saw another bus coming and stood out near the kerb to get a better look at the number. On seeing this was not my bus I turned and walked back to the bus stand not realising that a queue had formed behind me and about twenty people looked on as their bus drove past without stopping. They had expected me to flag it down as I was at the front. Oops.

Ok, those were accidents, this one I have no excuse.

I got on the bus and headed for the back seats as normal (You can sleep better at the back and the other seats do not allow for long legs or things like knees). Both corners were taken so I sat in the middle and put my rucksack down on the seat next to me. I had spotted but didn't care that the guy had left his drinks bottle where I was going to sit, he could have moved it in time but didn't give a fuck so I just plunked my and bag on top of it. He tried to shove me and my bag over and I swept my arm forward hitting his bottle down to the front of the bus. He got up angrily remonstrating and retrieved his bottle only to return to find I had taken his corner seat next to the heater. I gave him a smile though just to show I was friendly.

I keep watching the news to see if there's anything about any bus rampages lately. Maybe tomorrow.

[Warhead]

Pfft. In Soviet Jerusalem bus rampages you.

These were Glaswegians, I'm seriously asking for a knife in the guts here.

[Warhead]

In jerusalem they blow up bus because you're sitting in the wrong direction of Mecca.

Well, that's fair.

[piltogg]

In jerusalem they blow up bus because you're sitting in the wrong direction of Mecca.

We should nuke Mecca, then they would all get super pissed at us and we would have an excuse to kill them all.

All problems in the middle east: solved


And yes, before you all get super angry, that was only supposed to be a joke.

[*CRAZYHORSE*]

Pfft. In Soviet Jerusalem bus rampages you.

You are 100% anal, that was all.

Have a nice day.

[piltogg]

I posted this de-motivational poster making fun of the qu'ran and got a few death threats.

Ha, I'd like to see them even try... bunch of Pansie asses.... I mean come on, if you are going to go on a suicidal rampage you might as well do it in such a fashion as you can enjoy watching the deaths of your victims instead of just blowing up yourself and thus limiting your potential for destruction.

[Silent-sigfig]

Ha, I'd like to see them even try... bunch of Pansie asses.... I mean come on, if you are going to go on a suicidal rampage you might as well do it in such a fashion as you can enjoy watching the deaths of your victims instead of just blowing up yourself and thus limiting your potential for destruction.

Yeah, but satisfaction is against the teachings of the Koran.

[Tzan]

Yeah, but satisfaction is against the teachings of the Koran.

[Silent-sigfig]

Tzan, you're such a dumbass. Mohammed was a guy.

[Tzan]

My previous post was from the perspective of the wife of a person who follows the Koran and is not "satisfied" with her husbands performance.

[fredde]

[BFenix]

I think this thread is going to be fun to watch, also, taking the bus is like going to the jungle, you never know who or what the fuck might jump on you!

[legacymedia92]

I have a shirt written in Arabic that if I went near a mosque My head would be missing...

[Tuefish]

In jerusalem they blow up bus because you're sitting in the wrong direction of Mecca.

One thing that I've always wondered about; muslims in japan. Which direction do they pray? 'cause there are mecha everywhere there.

[Tzan]

One thing that I've always wondered about; muslims in japan. Which direction do they pray? 'cause there are mecha everywhere there.

They pray toward Scotland of course.
They pray that the white Godzilla named Warhead doesn't move to Japan and do their moms while riding the famously people packed trains.