Bastian

You know, whatever

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Postby Arkbrik » Sun Aug 22, 2010 1:32 pm

aoffan23 wrote:As for Inception, that was a great movie, I expected it to be just a movie that tries too hard to confuse you, but everything actually made sense.

On the topic of mindfucks, I saw The Neverending Story the other day, and that was... a real mindfuck movie. And not just because of all the weird fantasy creatures.
Remus: Harry... I'm a werewolf.
Harry: Are you fucking serious?
Remus: Well yes, but I don't see how that applies here.
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Postby OneEye589 » Sun Aug 22, 2010 1:56 pm

The Neverending Story is not a mindfuck. The mindfuck is that you took the tangent of The Neverending Story off of a tangent about Inception, off of a tangent off of Scott Pilgrim, BUT the kid who played Bastian in The Neverending Story is in Scott Pilgrim.

Mindfuck.
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Postby mr.duckie » Mon Aug 23, 2010 11:38 am

OneEye589 wrote:The Neverending Story is not a mindfuck. The mindfuck is that you took the tangent of The Neverending Story off of a tangent about Inception, off of a tangent off of Scott Pilgrim, BUT the kid who played Bastian in The Neverending Story is in Scott Pilgrim.

Mindfuck.


*headsplosion*
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Postby Ross_Varn » Mon Aug 23, 2010 11:42 pm

Wait wait wait, what the hell Arkbrik? Seriously? Damn.
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Postby jmatthew » Wed Aug 25, 2010 2:56 am

OneEye589 wrote:The Neverending Story is not a mindfuck. The mindfuck is that you took the tangent of The Neverending Story off of a tangent about Inception, off of a tangent off of Scott Pilgrim, BUT the kid who played Bastian in The Neverending Story is in Scott Pilgrim.

Mindfuck.


IMDB would beg to differ..... explain yourself....
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Postby OneEye589 » Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:20 am

WHAT! That's so weird. I swear this kid must have changed his name.

Look at this picture:

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Now look at this picture, the guy who played Young Neils in Scott Pilgrim:

Image

I just assumed it was the same person because they look exactly the same. Now I'm sad.

But, I should have realized Bastian would be like in his 30s by now.

Whatever.
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Postby jmatthew » Wed Aug 25, 2010 12:39 pm

OneEye589 wrote:[...]
I just assumed it was the same person because they look exactly the same. Now I'm sad.

But, I should have realized Bastian would be like in his 30s by now.

[...]


UNLESS Corporate Hollywood knew that they would again one day require the legendary acting abilities of the "boy who played Bastian," so they had him cryogenically frozen. When Scott Pilgrim was announced, the powers that be knew it was time.

The head scientist of the secret Hollywood military science complex located deep beneath the Chinese Theater gave the order. Rosa, the young intern who had felt a deep connection with the inanimate boy who once hid from bullies inside a book, and had spent many lonely nights sitting by his titanium and bullet-proof glass chamber, recounting the events of her prior day, of her parent's divorce, of her best friend's move to southern California, of losing her favorite kitchen whisk and then finding it the next week in a suspicious location near her bathtub, and just about anything else no one else would stand to listen to her drone on about to the boy who would never tire of listening to her--or so it seemed--shed a lonely tear down her lonely cheek, knowing that the only beautiful connection she had ever had was about to end in a flurry of pure science. She stood back and watched, as silent as an ice sculpture forged of sandstone.

Buttons were pressed, dials turned, levers levered, and all manner of digital goings on went on like Bonn-o-Tron. Finally, the metal casing of the cryogenic life-support unit began unfolding like a dead spider unfurling and coming back to life as a hideous zombie spider, bent on slowly uncurling its legs and trying to walk again after being dead for so long, and not quite remembering how its muscles worked. A very dramatic and theatric cloud of steam issued forth.

From within the wisps of white steam, which were probably computer generated since--as you recall--this is a Hollywood military science complex, the silhouette of a shaggy-haired boy came slowly forward. The intense and experimental freezing process had in fact aged him about 7-10 years, but that was okay.

The President of Hollywood himself stepped forward to greet the boy, clasping one of his hands in both of his own, and with a look of great consternation mixed simultaneously with gravity and amazement, confronted him, saying, "It is time again boy. The world needs you. I need you. A great nexus lies on the horizon and none of our psychics or our computers can tell us what it means. We need you to step into an extremely minor role in a movie that will probably bomb at the box office because of how incredibly awesome it is. It is too awesome for the minds of most movie-goers to comprehend. What do you say?"

For a moment, there was nothing but silence. Rosa began to shudder and weep uncontrollably and someone had to escort that annoying girl out. Everyone was glad she was gone, including the boy, who thought the way she stared at him was just creepy.

Finally, from lips that could have kissed angels came the boy's response: "Of course I'll do it, Morgan Freeman. I'll do it for you. You've been like a father to me. Nay, like a Luckdragon, even. Just one question--why such a minor role? Why not the lead?"

"We couldn't risk it. If our psychic's predictions are even close to correct, this movie could usher in either the end of the world or a great new era of prosperity, but in either event, it will probably cause whoever play's the title character's head to explode in a rain of blood and brains and earwax. It has to be someone Hollywood no longer cares about..." President Freeman trails off with a dubious expression on his furrowed brow. "Our top men are still working on that one. For now, let us go. We have much preparing to do. You need to learn how to use a sword before this day is done..."


That would be my best guess anyway....
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