A dream of utter shit-fuck-ness

[stubby]

Last night I had a dream that I went back in time to the eighties, so that I could warn Eddie Murphy about the rest of his career.

[Keldoclock]

Mike Rayhawk- The Least Important TimeCop.

[Killer Karetsu]

Weird dreams eh? Time to spam them here.

The dream that I can always remember happened when I was about 5 years old. While back then it was a nightmare I find it funny now.
I was walking in a wintertime forest with a friend of mine. Suddenly there was a bear behind a tree which licked its cheeks and lounged at me, my friend ran (the coward) and the the bear stucked me in an oven. I was somehow turned to a roasted chicken alive!

Then there was this epic dream some years ago which I really enjoyed. I was a dragonrider, with all my friends being too. First we flew over the snowy mountains which rose near my home town(there are no mountains there irl) and owned some orcs or other pesky creatures. Then all the guys I hated attacked us, they were riding dragons too. Me and my friends eventually triumphed, and it was glorious!

I've had many dreams where I am eaten by random monsters. So far I have been eaten at least by a giant, dinosaur and a yeti.

The worst nightmare that I've had is when we were in a holiday in Lapland. The dream though was located at front of our house. It was evening and I was going home. The doors close at 8pm and I knew that, trying to open the door with my key. It didn't open, and I suddenly started to catch glimpses of some creature in shadows which was going for me, and fast. I tried to open and open the door but it wouldn't open and I turned and the monster attacked me, screaming. I woke up immediately and it was the first and so far only time when I actually screamed after a dream. It was hard to get sleep after that..

[mgb519]

I had a dream where it started out with me looking for Dora the explorer or something like that, and then I went into the nearby city and the sky was suddenly black as holes opened up in the ground below people and they were swarmed with snakes. Then the sun came back.

[Xenoman]

This dream I had last night was completely full of utter shit-fuck-ness. I want to write it down now while I still remember it, since I usually space out dreams unless I write them down.

Anyways, I was dreaming that I was attending a local (or perhaps not local) T'juan's mexican restaurant. It was nighttime, and I know that because for some reason the main restaurant dining area didn't have a roof. The sky was clear and dark save for a full moon, lighting up the whole area save for the restaurant's lights, which were set into the walls. The place was entirely packed, and I was there with some family as I recall.

Getting up to go to the bathroom, I recall trying to traverse this particular T'juan's like a maze, as that was what it reminded me of without the roof. Somehow I made my way through the human-infested hell-hole when I was eventually stopped near the front desk by several employees at the restaurant, and maybe some of the customers as well, I don't remember that so clearly. The employees, dressed in dark black shirts, pants, and matching caps, were all happy and smiles, and asked me if I worked there or not. Pausing for a moment, I looked down, then noticed that I was wearing a similar style outfit, but clearly not an employee. Black pants, shoes, and a black T-shirt like this one.





I look up and say to these fucking idiots, "Do I look like I fucking work here?" I don't recall exactly what they said, but apparently it was cool, as nothing bad happened.

I finally made it to the bathroom. Upon finishing my business there, I was suddenly met with the sound of two men singing "Tik Tok" by Kesha within the bathroom. Not knowing if it was a speaker system or not, I--for some god-forsaken reason that I can't explain--joined in, and even did a little dance routine, nothing fancy, just getting down with it.

That was when I noticed where the song was coming from. Looking behind me at one of the stalls, I could see that there were two men in there. With their pants down. And one of them was plowing the other one.

In the ass.

Deep.

I became so enraged that I kicked the door open and kicked the fucking shit out of the both of them right there in the bathroom stall. I left without incident.

Fast forward some time later, back in the main restaurant area. At some point, I happen to turn my head to the side, near where I had came from... and I see two huge, walking dicks, dark-red in color, with eyes, walking around.

For some odd reason, I believed that the dicks were the two hot guys whom I had just kicked the shit out of, transformed into a pair of monstrous, living dicks with eyes. And they were looking for me.

That's where the dream ended.

[Zahru II]

I've had a dream about basically having a perfect girlfriend.

[Keldoclock]

I've had a dream of my current girlfriend giving me head.

Sometimes dreams don't come true .

Anyways, holy shit Xenoman, you have some fucking issues with dapper gentlemen.

[aoffan23]

Anyways, holy shit Xenoman, you have some fucking issues with dapper gentlemen.

Also< I had a dream two nights ago where I was singing at the dinner table...and I was really freaking good.

[Silverdream]

I've had a dream of my current girlfriend giving me head.

Sometimes dreams don't come true .

Oh, you middle school children.

[Xenoman]

I've had a dream of my current girlfriend giving me head.

Sometimes dreams don't come true .

Anyways, holy shit Xenoman, you have some fucking issues with dapper gentlemen.

Damn right. You see some dapper gentlemen tonight, tell 'em to WATCH THE FUCK OUT!

And I don't know if it means anything, but I have had some dreams that seemed to have come true. Though nowhere near as screwed up as that last one. Heck, I don't even remember dreaming last night...