OneEye, everyone who's young does what you call 'stupid stuff'. It is a parent's responsibility to see that a child does not only learn what is wrong, but also what is right. By simply saying 'this is wrong, now I will punish you' you do not teach the kid ANYTHING: there should always be room for an alternative. You know what my dad does when I do 'stupid stuff'? He and I talk it out, so that I actually learn what to do instead and make sure it doesn't happen again. Luckily, his education was good enough so that I didn't do so much 'stupid stuff' anyway. In other words, the dad from the video already failed. He thinks giving his daughter a lot of material wealth (at least, he claims he's doing so) will endear her to him and give him authority. Well, studies have proven this is not
the case. I respect my parents because I can talk to them about anything and they can give advice on matters I don't know things about: they draw authority from their life experience, so to speak, not (just) because they put a roof over my head and give me what I need to survive, which, as you might know, is actually even their duty by law. My parents aren't so insecure, immature and insane they have to tell as many people as they can about what I did if I were to disobey them and use violence to enlarge their egos. On top of that, the kind of relationship leaves no room for personal development: "you are to do as we sayeth, no more, no less, and become what we want you to be, exactly how we want you to be". I ask again, would you like your parents to carry such a mindset?
It sounds like she ALREADY hates her parents, even before he did this whole thing.
Well, -1 to their parenting skill is all I get from this.
Horseman, Watch the video again. When he's shooting the laptop, he's still talking to his daughter between each shot: it is a clear means to intimidate her, so yes, he is using the gun to gain 'authority'. Also, you're taking what he says for granted, assuming every word he says is true, and that his story gives a good view of the entire situation. If this guy was really so great a dad as he claims to be, what do you think are the odds he 'spoketh the truth, and nothing but the truth'. Why do you think he's so hellbent on taking away the daughter's means of defence, her internet access, which, who knows, might reveal things about him we don't know. There are clearly things at play here we don't know about and I know human nature well enough to know for sure he didn't tell us the entire truth behind the situation. Even when people are only telling casual stories, they tell them so that everything seems to our advantage.
The logic behind 'he gives her what she needs to survive, so she has to show discipline and obedience and I am not open to dialogue and disrespect will be met by violence' is not much different from the reasoning behind slavery, in fact it is almost completely the same. Funnily enough, the region that man comes from supported that trail of thought in a war.
If this man is so concerned about respect, then he should never forget respect can only work if it goes both ways. If he is so concerned about respect, his daughter being disrespectful does not give him the right to be disrespectful either, and exposing family matters to the entire world and destroying one's possessions is clearly disrespectful, even to himself. By stopping to give the right example, he will not gain respect: his approach breeds only fear. The Nazis were not respected during their occupation either because people knew they would be punished with violence. People only feared them, but they held on to their own ideas even if they did not speak them aloud, and in the end they only hated them, not sharing their views or learning anything from their approach.
Something else for you to think about:
- (inspired by Kant): would the world be a better place if everyone behaved like him? If there were thousands of videos of parents breaking their children's stuff in front of the camera and requiring the whole world to see it for them to feel satisfaction?