The quest of Piltogg

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

Moderators: Magic Soap, Zahru II, Thesson

Postby Robot Monkey » Sun Dec 19, 2010 5:49 pm

So, the enemy Capital Ship....
It has an odd shape...

But anyway, it looks to be a great battle!
Image
User avatar
Robot Monkey
Pooplord
 
Posts: 3165
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:47 pm
Location: Weed land

Postby piltogg » Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:20 pm

Tor's hammer.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have made it yellow. (The color of minnifig flesh)
Image
User avatar
piltogg
Clown-Face Bologna
 
Posts: 2444
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:16 pm
Location: Fictional Deutschland

Postby Robot Monkey » Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:38 pm

piltogg wrote:Tor's hammer.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have made it yellow. (The color of minnifig flesh)

A'yup.

And shaping SHIPS like weapons is never a good idea.
(Think, swords, pikes/spears, even axes)
Image
User avatar
Robot Monkey
Pooplord
 
Posts: 3165
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:47 pm
Location: Weed land

Postby Warhead » Sun Dec 19, 2010 7:35 pm

Robot Monkey wrote:And shaping SHIPS like weapons is never a good idea.
(Think, swords, pikes/spears, even axes)


Thanks for sharing your new found shallows of experience. Do you have a ship posted on the forum yet?
Image
Image
Motherfucker!
User avatar
Warhead
Blockguy
 
Posts: 10926
Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:07 pm
Location: I'm Momnipresent.

Postby aoffan23 » Sun Dec 19, 2010 7:43 pm

What if it's shaped like a kamikaze ramming ship?
Tzan wrote:
Quantumsurfer wrote:I generally agree with Tzan
Warhead wrote:I agree with QuantumSmurfer.



I agree with Warhead.
User avatar
aoffan23
Pooplord
 
Posts: 3221
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 7:41 pm
Location: America's conjoined twin.

Postby Robot Monkey » Sun Dec 19, 2010 8:05 pm

aoffan23 wrote:What if it's shaped like a kamikaze ramming ship?


Ehrm....

Well, who would build a SHIP just to ram stuff and explode? That's a fighter's job if you ask me.
Image
User avatar
Robot Monkey
Pooplord
 
Posts: 3165
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:47 pm
Location: Weed land

Postby Cpl. Halan » Sun Dec 19, 2010 8:22 pm

Silverdream wrote:Who wouldn't? Hell, I bet we all have a method of blowing up our SHIPs as a last resort.

LAST resort? besides, the customary method of boarding is to ram your ship into his and have your marines file through the hole
Fire, Fire, burning bright
Burning down the house tonight


Heroism is not the ability to kick ass. It is the willingness to use this ability on any poor bastard who so much as looks at you funny.
User avatar
Cpl. Halan
Dimmy
 
Posts: 531
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 3:35 pm
Location: Maryland

Postby aoffan23 » Sun Dec 19, 2010 8:48 pm

Robot Monkey wrote:
aoffan23 wrote:What if it's shaped like a kamikaze ramming ship?


Ehrm....

Well, who would build a SHIP just to ram stuff and explode? That's a fighter's job if you ask me.


Now you're just making excuses. Besides, the bigger the ram, the bigger the boom.

Inb4 :twss:
Tzan wrote:
Quantumsurfer wrote:I generally agree with Tzan
Warhead wrote:I agree with QuantumSmurfer.



I agree with Warhead.
User avatar
aoffan23
Pooplord
 
Posts: 3221
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 7:41 pm
Location: America's conjoined twin.

Postby muffinman42 » Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:04 pm

A ship is a pilot-able missile, with some lighter arms to defend it from premature explosion.

Seriously this is brikwars, if it's not broke, you did something wrong.
User avatar
muffinman42
Mega Blok
 
Posts: 1397
Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:33 pm
Location: Gale Crator

Postby Keldoclock » Wed Dec 22, 2010 11:39 pm

:protip: Read this next bit as if it was a Powerthirst commercial.



Tsk tsk tsk.... first you launch TORPEDOES, but not TORPEDOES with EXPLOSIVES, oh no. You launch TORPEDOES with INFANTRY into the other SHIP, and FUCK UP their SHIT. Then, you pilot the shattered remains of their SHIP into a ASTEROID, and than you do THAT ASTEROID'S MOM.
Image
stubby wrote:omg noob, balrogs are maiars too, don't you know anything
User avatar
Keldoclock
Pooplord
 
Posts: 2749
Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 2:19 pm
Location: New York City

Postby muffinman42 » Sun Dec 26, 2010 7:56 pm

Make sure you have a SHIP carrier, a giant SHIP for carry SHIPS that carry torpedoes armed with smaller torpedoes!
THEN RAM EVERYTHING INTO THE OPPOSITION!
:twisted:
User avatar
muffinman42
Mega Blok
 
Posts: 1397
Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:33 pm
Location: Gale Crator

Postby Robot Monkey » Sun Dec 26, 2010 10:05 pm

Silverdream wrote:6.Make a planet sized SHIP that is really a nuclear reactor.
7.Make it more complex than anything
8.Give it an unreliable way to function so that it explodes every week


:ftw:
Image
User avatar
Robot Monkey
Pooplord
 
Posts: 3165
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:47 pm
Location: Weed land

Postby piltogg » Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:27 pm

Stage 4

Blitzen and the forces of the Grammar Inquisition, having seen what happened to Shaun and Benny, decided that waiting around for Piltogg to find them and sneak attack when Blitzen was relatively unguarded would not be such a great idea. So they teamed up with the Settanian capital ship "Tor's Hammer" To perform a preemptive strike against The Akkadians.
Image

But the Akkadian border patrol is certainly no foe to be messed with lightly.
Image

Especially because each squadron comes especially prepared with one of these guys: An Uber-trooper equipped with a personal teleporter and a Nachtmahr blade. (And this is a wonderful opportunity to playtest my rules for them)
Image

And the forces did align themselves as such.
Image

The uber-troop teleported next to the primary guns of the capital ship.
Image

...and broke it into pieces with one fell swoop.
Image

He then moved on to the SHIP's right-side secondary weapons.
Image

And also smashed those to bits
Image

Then he moved onto the right inquisitorial kommand vehicle's wing.
Image

And destroyed it's primary guns.
Image

It is at this point that I rolled a one, ending the uber-troops rampage. But he still left a pretty nice trail of destruction.
Image

The Akkadians took full advantage of that fact in their movement. Flying into an alleyway, wherein they would receive minimum return fire.
Image

The reise assault craft soon followed suit.
Image

The inquisitional forces soon followed suit, and did some repositioning.
Image

Image

Image

And an overview.
Image

The reise prepared it's twin miniguns.
Image

And did some pretty serious damage to the section of SHIP, which had separated itself from the main body.
Image

The fighter craft fired on Tor's hammer, and knocked out it's disruptor beams.
Image
Image

The inquisitorial fighter craft fired on the uber-troop insuring he wouldn't get to break anything next turn.
Image

And another overview
Image

The Akkadian fighter craft moved to an even safer position.
Image

And the Reise Attached it's boarding tubes to Tor's hammer.
Image

Ripping open it's hull. and providing an entrance for the Akkadian boarding Party.
Image

The fighter fight resulted in both inquisitorial craft being downed, and one Akkadian craft destroyed.
Image

Some more repositioning happened.
Image

The forward guns on Tor's hammer opened up on it's Akkadian counterpart.
Image

Blasting off the Reise's twin Mini-guns
Image

Roof's all come removable of course.
Image

Showing the first room in Tor's hammer. The gaurds Quarters, Lightly gaurded right now.
Image
Last edited by piltogg on Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image
User avatar
piltogg
Clown-Face Bologna
 
Posts: 2444
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:16 pm
Location: Fictional Deutschland

Postby Robot Monkey » Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:33 pm

Nice! :D

Any chance The Man In The Top Hat could return, mabye as Piltogg's ally? (For instructions, see my avatar)
Image
User avatar
Robot Monkey
Pooplord
 
Posts: 3165
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:47 pm
Location: Weed land

Postby piltogg » Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:27 pm

The full Akkadian boarding party prepared itself.
Image

This is what the lead guy had to look forward to.
Image

They shot the guard with no trouble, and started filing in.
Image
Image

The second Inquisitorial Kommand Vehikle (IKV) Started to get itself in range.
Image

The reise prepared it's MKIII missiles for launch.
Image

And landed them in a particularly opportune area.
Image

Making lovely, impossible explosion sex and fire in outer space.
Image

An overview
Image

More repositioning.
Image

The Akkadian fighters seemed to have run out of living targets to decimate, so they moved onto the other side.
Image

The second room is revealed, this one controls the side and frontal weapons.
Image

It was taken in a manner of seconds.
Image

Maneuvers again
Image
Image

Next room is normally a storage facility for ground-vehicles, but is unoccupied at this time. It is finally where some real opposition comes in.
Image

They moved into somewhat bettr positions
Image

And gunned down the first Akkadian through.
Image

The rest of them got through just fine.
Image

And killed the three defenders.
Image

Remaining Akkadians formed up.
Image

As did the Inquisitorial force.
Image

Ah, finally. The command room.
Image

With BLITZEN! and the Stupendous-featinator. But both were quickly escaping out of the roof-hatch.
Image

And into the escape vessel.
Image

positioned behind the ship as so.
Image

The Akkadians filed in and killed the rest of the Setanians, I think one of the Akkadians was killed while coming in, but m not certain.
Image

Having captured the capital ship, The Akkadians got some loot, located in the side compartments of the hammer.
Image
Image

The Akkadians took the controls.
Image

As well as the front ones.
Image

Outside, the battle raged on like Bonn-o-Tron.
Image

Two of the fighters got gunned down.
Image
Image

The other two carried on, guns ablaze.
Image

And took out a part of the ship.
Image

overview.
Image

Tor's hammer was under new management, and it reared it's ugly head
on the forces of the grammar inquisition.
Image

It blew up one of the fighters
Image

And just like that, the tide of battle took on a whole new tone.
Image

The two fighters went to some more dramatic looking positions.
Image
Image

And Tor's hammer rammed the IKV.
Image

Creating a large hole of the atmosphere sucking-variety.
Image

The remaining forces gave up and sounded the retreat, trying to at least keep the officers alive for the next fight.
Image

Inquisitorial log entry 246: Assault on Akkadia Failed miserably, never underestimate Akkadian tactics and technology again. Requesting large amounts of backup to destroy this menace to spelling and grammar the universe wide.
Image

And so they sailed off into space, passing by strange creatures from the deepest depths of the warp.
Image

Until they ran out of fuel. at which point the drifted aimlessly for weeks.
Image

Until finally they crashed on a cold and desolate planet in the outer rim. Having no astral maps, they were unsure just where they were, but they would be in for a big and nasty surprise.

Image
Last edited by piltogg on Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:01 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Image
User avatar
piltogg
Clown-Face Bologna
 
Posts: 2444
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:16 pm
Location: Fictional Deutschland

PreviousNext

Return to Magic Soap Opera Board

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Insert_blank and 0 guests