Unfunny

[Tzan]

Uh oh the cyberpolice is here

[Jbgarrison]

Uh oh the cyberpolice is here

I had to take several showers after to clean off the taint of Unfunny chat.

[Nitewatchman]

Decided to try this thing out.

Stranger: hey
Stranger: how are you?
You: Hullo
Stranger: tell me about yourself
Stranger: 20 m usa pennsylvania
Stranger: west philly
You: I'm good. You type fast. 34, M, Tatooine
You: I kind of live in the desert.
Stranger: tatooine huh
You: So...not well, the empire doesn't use counties. I just kind of live in the desert outside Mos Epsa.
Stranger: well i play a lot of basketball
You: Oh, cool.
Stranger: got in a fight once and my mom sent me to cali to live with my aunt and go to school
Stranger: took a cab all the fucking way there but the driver was so chill dice hanging on his mirror and all
You: Sounds like you must've been living as...a prince of some kind.
Stranger: my names smith
Stranger: will smith
Stranger: peace

You: Hey
Stranger: hi
Stranger: wazz up
You: Not much.
You: Man.
You: You ever see so much penis that you're just like, "Wow. Wish I had one of those."?
Stranger: .............
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Arkbrik]

This was not from some random chat, but still unfunny (Serious Issues):

You: new discussion: are gurololitas feminist?
Stranger: well, its like two directions
Stranger: either cute girls getting slashed
Stranger: or cute girls slashing others
Stranger: as long as the girl is the one hacking down people maybe?
You: yes, but you have to do it in a clever way so you don't just "woman power = woman acting like man"
You: how do you hack down people in a gender neutral way?
Stranger: exactly
Stranger: how do you hack down people in a feminine way for that matter?
You: uma thurman does it pretty well in kill bill
You: but i don't know if you could call that feminist
You: more like gender role typical
Stranger: i don't know, these are difficult questions
You: i think a q.ueer perspective is most rewarding in this case
Stranger: how do you mean?
You: hacking down people is basically a gender neutral pastime
You: but a lot of people have habitual ideas and views on it
You: therefore i think the best would be to start from the beginning
Stranger: i think you have a point there

(FAKE EDIT: Bigglesworth = Q.ueer?)

[AngelKnight]

Stranger: Hey
Stranger: asl/
You: ...
You: hello?
You: ...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This is my longest conversation as of yet.

[Entity001]

,

[Entity001]

,.,m,m,m.,mmm

[RunsWithLegos]

snuggle

[Dertyyy]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Unfunny will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Unfunny are lying.
You: yo
Stranger: happy 4/20
You: you too
Stranger: how old are youu.
You: wanna join the explosive cult?
Stranger: whats that?
You: it's the cult of explosions...
You: fairly self-explanatory
Stranger: whoops.
Stranger: HOW OLD ARE YOU?
You: no hablo eenglish?
Stranger: SHUT Up(:
Stranger: yess you dooo!
Stranger: malee or femaleee?
You: nihongo o hanashimasu ka?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I win.

[Dertyyy]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Unfunny will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Unfunny are lying.
Stranger: hey
You: hay
Stranger: f/m
You: m/f
Stranger: i asked u first
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Once again.

[Ham701]

You: Hello
Stranger: HI
You: How are you?
Stranger: i am fine and you?
You: Good
You: M/F?
Stranger: f
You: Ooh
Stranger: yup..you?
You: F
Stranger: ooh okay
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Lesbian troll.

[Entity001]

.

[Robot Monkey]

You: Hello, this is the ghostbusters. What seems to be your emergency?
Stranger: I have a ghost in my backyard!
You: the ghostbusters will be dispatched soon. what is the nature of the ghost?
Stranger: Mean, horrific, come fast!
You: does it have any extremities?
You: (arms, legs, tentacles..)
Stranger: Knife as fingers...and a...NOSE.
You: Dear god, no again!
You: the ghostbusters will be there ASAP.
Stranger: Better be, IT'S ATTACKING MY DOG.
You: that's typical for ol' nose there. do not approach the creature.
Stranger: Will do.
Stranger: I mean, will NOT do.
You: Also, it will try to eat your gardening tools.
Stranger: NOT MY HOE
Stranger: 3...
Stranger: 36+63
Stranger: 36*6+3
Stranger: 3+3
You: oh no, it's starting...
You: DO NOT THINK OF MATH, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Stranger: 89645445255+85587895585856=1656354654635213216874654
You: STOP THINKING OF MATH, OR YOUR BRAIN MAY EXPLODE!
Stranger: 3+
Stranger: 5++
Stranger: 8
Stranger: 53
Stranger: 45
Stranger: +38
Stranger: +8
Stranger: 5
Stranger: 5
Stranger: 55558563
Stranger: 3.
Stranger: 385
Stranger: /8*/569*+/85/748*9+693
Stranger: +3698.58*/+
Stranger: /+
Stranger: 58/7/+
Stranger: 8*/
Stranger: *-+
Stranger: NOOOOO
Stranger: ITS GETTING ME...YOU GHOSTBUSTERS WERE TOO SLOW.
You: if you feel heat within your head, apply pressure to your temples immediately!
Stranger: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..........

Best Unfunny yet.

[Robot Monkey]

Another "ghostbusters" o,megle troll.

Stranger: hello
You: Hello, this is the ghostbusters. What seems to be your emergency?
Stranger: well.
Stranger: im
Stranger: just
Stranger: really
Stranger: scared
You: that is normal during a ghost infestation.
Stranger: well.can you get it out??
You: could you state the nature of the ghost?
Stranger: evil.
You: any extremities? (arms, legs, tentacles, etc.)
Stranger: arms
You: is it eating anything?
Stranger: no,its just been chasing me!
You: oh. Stop running, grab a fire extinguisher, and fire. After it's retreated, apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Stranger: okay.im scared this this is like horny or something! like,i don't understand!!
Stranger: okay,i did that.now what?!
You: has it retreated?
Stranger: yess,but i think..ITS IN MY ATTIC
You: Dispatching ghostbusters... They will be at your location in 3 hours. hang in there, and don't think of math, whatever you do!
Stranger: why?
You: if you do think of math, apply immediate pressure to your temples. if you on't do that, the ghost may overheat your brain, causing it to explode.
Stranger: D: okay!
Stranger: what if it comes back into my room and like,tries to snuggle me!?
You: you still have the fire extinguisher, right?
Stranger: well yeah..
You: use that if it comes back. stay calm, ma'am.
Stranger: but.i.can't
You: stay calm... think of fluffy kittens...
Stranger: aw:)
You: good. now joust don't think of your impending doom, or math. Think of fluffy kittens.
Stranger: okay.
You: ghostbusters have encountered problems arriving at your location. Activating quantum tunneling device... re-routing off of moon... alright, if you hear a loud boom, disregard it.
Stranger: alright
You: you should be hearing a boom right... NOW!
Stranger: AH!
You: please disregard it. if your ears are ringing, cover them for a few seconds, while applying pressure to your temples.
Stranger: okay
You: ghostbusters have arrived. DEAR GOD, THE QUANTUM TUNNELING DEVICE MALFUNCTIONED NOOOOO---- *radio static*
Stranger: D:
You: (automated voice) we have *kshkt* experienced difficulties *kshkt* stay *kshkt* calm, ma'am/sir.
Stranger: BUT
You: (automated voice) due to *kshkt* difficulties, it appears *kshkt* that the *kshkt* ghostbusters have been *kshkt* *radio static* *signal gives out* *silence*
Stranger: D:
You: *signal re-gained* *more static* (regular voice) DEAR GOD, THE GHOSTS, THEY'RE OUT! OH SHI---- *radio static*
Stranger: OMG
You: *evil laughter in the background, followed by screams*
Stranger: AHHHHHHH
You: *more laughter in the background* (evil, ghostly voice) "Where is your god now, mortal? MWAHAHAHAHA!"
Stranger: *faints*
You: *signal drops out* (automated phone company voice) Sorry for the inconveinience, your signal has been dropped. attempting to re-gain signal...
Stranger: *still laying on the ground*
You: (phone company voice) Due to your lack of response, authorities have been dispatched to your location.
You: *explosions in the distance, followed by a loud snapping*
You: *phone goes dead*
Stranger: *i wake up suddenly and run thorough the house*
You: *evil cackling from within the house*
Stranger: *i run back into my room,and sit scared,on my bed*
You: *more explosions in the distance*
You: *the door falls down, followed by a shout: "LET'S DO THIS, UNDEAD FREAKS!"*
You: *you investigate, to find a lone ghostbuster*
Stranger: OMG thank you!!!
You: "no problem. now where is the problem?"
Stranger: i.i don't know,i think theryre in the attic??
You: *ghostbuster rushes up to the attic* "here ya are..." *more explosions*
You: *ghostbuster stumbles down the stairs, holding a smoking ghost trap* "There we go..."
Stranger: omg thank you so much!
You: "No problem. that'll be $500, plus an added $10,000 for damage of equipment."
Stranger: .......excuse me!?
You: "Well, because of this house call, we lost the quantum tunneling device, 3 ghostbusters, 3 proton packs, 2 ghost detectors, and due to the explosion of the quantum tunneling device, unleashed hell on earth. $10,000 is a deal."
Stranger: ..hm.how can i possibly pay for this? *i say teasingly to you hoping for a response*
You: "well, $10,000."
You: "look, I've had a crappy day. $10,000, take it or leave it."
Stranger: fine.$10,000.
You: "and by 'leave it', i mean 20,000.
You: good, now how do you want to pay?
You: your total is 10,500.
Stranger: well id LIKE to pay by somthing else.but apparently youre not interested in that.soo
Stranger: cash.
You: alright, we require immediate payment.
Stranger: mkay.*i reach in my bra and take out the cash and hand it over*
You: *pockets cash* Have a good day, ma'am. *leaves*
You: *more explosions in the distance*
Stranger: *sits on bed again and looks out the window*
You: *keeps bustin' ghosts* *cue ghostbusters theme*
You: who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!
You: *walks down the, dancin' and shootin' ghosts*
You: *walks down the STREET
Stranger: *i watch and laugh and smile at you*
You: * i tip may hat, and hop into the ghostbuter-mobile, and drive off*
You: *phone comes on again, saying:* "thank you for calling the ghostbusters.
Stranger: *its me*
You: *phone voice* do you have any more ghost-related problems?
Stranger: "um.noot really..but can you tell the guy that just left my house my phone number?"
You: *static* "your phone number has been retained. *explosions* *more static*
Stranger: "tell him to call me.thanks!"
You: *static*
Stranger: "CALL ME" *i hang up*
You: *static*
Stranger: *looks around confused*
You: *cue ghostbusters theme*

Best one so far, in my opinion.