[Prussian Sector] Diplomacy Breaks Down

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[Prussian Sector] Diplomacy Breaks Down

Postby Bragallot » Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:05 pm

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Der Kaiser: "The situation is urgent Sir Bragallot! We've just received word our trade partners of the Brittanian League have signed an alliance with the Immortal Empire! Soon, very soon, they will propose us to join the Immortal Alliance as well!"

"Und? Wat will you zell zem?"

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"I will decline, of course! Either path will lead us to war, but at least we will have our freedom."

"So... You will join de Anti-Immortal Alliance instdead?"

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"No! Not if it can be avoided! Foreign armies are to be kept off our soil. Mark my words. This 'war of defence' the Anti-Immortal Alliance is waging will soon become a war of conquest, and what will happen once the war is over, you think, with factions keeping units all across the Brikverse and no one left to fight? Chaos! Anarchy! No, they cannot be trusted either. We cannot allow ourselves to be caught up with them."

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The Scotsman: "So your choice in the matter is already made, dear emperor. What a shame."

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"Herr Scotsmann. Welcome zo my laboratory... I zo not dink I haf invited you?"

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"Pardon my intrusion, sir Bragallot, but the situation is urgent. I've been dispatched to propose the same deal to your Empire we propose to any other nation. Will you join the Immortal Empire in their march across the Brikverse? Victory is ensured now that our mighty Brittanian Empire has chosen their side. The alternative, of course is destruction. Choose well, I would not wish it upon you."

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"You can threaten a dog with a stick, Brittanian, but it takes more to scare a Prussian Wolf! We know of your 'Immortal Empire's' doings, and of their allies. The VoL: murderers, child molestors and rapists! The Inquistadores: all of them deceitful two-faced slavers! And you... a nation of shopkeepers. We will take our own chances, Scotsman. You and your envoy have 24 hours to leave our planet in peace, and I advise nor you, nor your 'Immortal' friends, to ever return here again!"

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"Ah, I see... I honestly regret your decision, for this makes us enemies... Of course, as we are enemies now, it is very fortunate indeed that we have the enemy Emperor cornered."

"What do you...?"

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"KILL THEM MEN!"

Jaeger: "Blast! Hidden laser pistols!"

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*laser sounds*

"Aargh!"

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"Well, sir Emperor? I have treaty here with me that could bind your nation to the Immortal Alliance. If you sign, I will let you live. If you don't..."

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"I'd sooner die than deliver my Reich into your hands!"

"That can be arranged, however that wouldn't be so good for me. I'm sure the engineer here has some pretty interesting tools. Just give us a few minutes, and we'll have forced you to sign the treaty, trust me. You could make it easy on yourself."

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"You had this planned from the start! To become the man to conquer the Prussian Empire without a single gunshot... well two..."

"Very perceptive, Emperor. There's more to diplomacy than signing documents, you know."

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*beep* *beep*

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"Yaaargh!"

"What the?"

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*Splatter*

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"Bloody hell!" *pew* *fizz*

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"Gaah!"

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"Dat's enough you zilly old leg-before-wicket English peuson. You zee, I cannot allow shooting here. Dere is doo much precious dings dat would break."

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"Idiots... You should have signed! Now, you will all die!"

"Yes, but you die virst."

"This is madness!"

"Madness?"

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"THIS. IS. SPARTAA- crap - PRUSSIAAA!"

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"Vat a mess."

"Yes, this occurrence implicates dire political consequences."

"No, I mean my laboratory."

"Oh."

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Johanna: "Herr Kaiser! We heard what happened! Are you okay?"

"Yes, but I fear we have other concerns right now. Give the remaining Brittanians the opportunity to leave in peace, maybe that will quell their anger somewhat... Also, gather the army for inspection. I need to see what we have, for our Empire is on the edge of war, and this time we won't be fighting indigenous tribes."
Last edited by Bragallot on Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:31 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Postby Pwnerade » Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:12 pm

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I lol'd. :lol:
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Postby Bragallot » Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:32 pm

I do my best to put some jokes in there, and the thing you laugh at is a person's head being ripped off? :P Well ok.
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lawmaster wrote:
Bragallot wrote:
lawmaster wrote:Kill the guy I'm in cc with.
He's already dead.
Kill him again.
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Postby BFenix » Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:38 pm

Bragallot wrote:I do my best to put some jokes in there, and the thing you laugh at is a person's head being ripped off? :P Well ok.


THIS- IS- BRIKWARS!
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Postby Bragallot » Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:45 pm

Silverdream wrote:So now you've made enemies with both sides Bragallot. As much as we respect your bravery, the silvarian empire will take your planet and her resources.


Hey, this was a private 'meeting' that's been cleverly kept secret, no official statements have been made in the open, so shoo :) The idea is that they'll gradually be moved towards the Alliance as the Immortal pressure increases (which will give me some time to assemble Allied squads and a reason for them not being there from the start).

... you still do want to control some of the guys that 'look like your Silvarians, but a little more complex' in a battle of this campaign, or did I misunderstand that? :twisted:
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lawmaster wrote:
Bragallot wrote:
lawmaster wrote:Kill the guy I'm in cc with.
He's already dead.
Kill him again.
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Postby Warhead » Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:17 pm

Such behaviour from a Britannian Envoy?!. Who assigned that wretched excuse for a... *checks record* ...ah, oops... er, nevermind.

Great bit of Diplomatic Negotiating there.
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Motherfucker!
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Postby Bragallot » Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:21 pm

Yeah, he failed to see there was a hidden firetrap at the door and that the Emperor had a hidden lightsabre or it might've worked, what an incompetent oaf! ;)
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lawmaster wrote:
Bragallot wrote:
lawmaster wrote:Kill the guy I'm in cc with.
He's already dead.
Kill him again.
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Postby piltogg » Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:36 pm

ah, a fellow Nation of Aryans. The Akkadian Empire sends it's fond greetings and will assist the Prussians with any Akkadian Technology they desire, free of charge, no questions asked.
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Postby Cpl. Halan » Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:54 pm

Hell with that, join the Maurans and fight on your own terms.
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Burning down the house tonight


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Postby White Nun » Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:24 pm

Where did those Scots troopers get lazers from! Hold on, they haven't got their caps on backwards so they aren't New Glasgow lads (all the better for gifting a Glasgow Kiss to those who annoy them).
That envoy must've been a soft git from New Edinburgh because he would've busted that Prussian's nose for him with a good kiss if he'd been from New Glasgow.

Good wee spot of play acting all the same though. :)
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Postby Pwnerade » Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:49 pm

Bragallot wrote:I do my best to put some jokes in there, and the thing you laugh at is a person's head being ripped off? :P Well ok.

It's funny because, being a Lego, he maintains the same serious expression as his head goes flying.
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Postby Ross_Varn » Mon Jun 13, 2011 12:03 am

...Failed his spot check. :P

Am I to understand that the Prussians have a trade route set up with the FELC? I seem to remember some sort of relation there. Hrm.
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Postby Killer Karetsu » Mon Jun 13, 2011 3:17 am

Sir bragallot is just awesome and funny. Wonderfully done, damn hidden lasers!
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Postby Bragallot » Mon Jun 13, 2011 6:30 am

@ piltogg: cool! How about some artifax? :wink:

@ Ross: They had a trade agreement with the Brittanian League up until now but that's about it I think. Right now they're open to trade agreements with non-Immortal systems of course but their sector is gonna get swamped with an Immortal invasion force soon so it might not be the most interesting option to commit your trade ships there :)
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lawmaster wrote:
Bragallot wrote:
lawmaster wrote:Kill the guy I'm in cc with.
He's already dead.
Kill him again.
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Postby piltogg » Mon Jun 13, 2011 8:57 am

Bragallot wrote:@ piltogg: cool! How about some artifax? :wink:


While all Akkadian-owned artifax are currently in use, we may be willing to loan out some to our closest allies once their compiled purpose has been discovered. In the mean-while please feel free to help yourself to a wide variety of quality Akkadian products such as Getheon disturbers, anti-matter weapons, and our newly captured OT mining rights are certain to come in handy for all forms of new weaponry.

@immortal alliance: Well... the Reich always comes first you know. And it's dishonorable to squash nations smaller than yourself, so this aid in evening it out. You'll thank me when we meet again in Valhalla.
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