The Unmortal

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
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Postby stubby » Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:10 pm

Colette wrote:I'm surprised the antimortallium thing hasn't rested.

Is that what it was called? I couldn't remember for sure and was too lazy to look it up.

Just Googled it, turns out you're right. Good thing you reminded me before the SHOCKING NEXT CHAPTER!
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Postby BFenix » Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:40 pm

:omnom:
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Postby RunsWithLegos » Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:47 pm

Excellent work stubbs. good all around
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Postby Ogel96 » Fri Jun 17, 2011 11:09 pm

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
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Postby RunsWithLegos » Fri Jun 17, 2011 11:49 pm

indeed. hey stubs, one of Momville's houses should be the center point of another Battle of Gotse hill type game.
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Postby stubby » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:16 am

(Announcer:) "From the beautiful stages of Beige Carpet Studio - - - this... is F'NN!"

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(Announcer:) "And here's your host, Fedoooooooranukeeeeeeerrrrrr!"

(Applause)

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"Thank you, thank you. You're too kind. You people really are the best audience I've ever created from tissue samples.

Hello everyone! I'm Fedoranuker, and welcome to my show! And what a show I have for you tonight!
"

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"You'll never believe who've we have as our guest this evening. Freshly rematerialized after his humiliating death at the gates of FICO, it's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turd!"

(Boo! Hiss!)

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"As my AssistantNukers clear the stage, let's learn a little bit about our friend.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turd is one of those famous Immortals we've all heard so much about, these invincible, unkillable bastards. Thanks to the power of Nyphilitic science, we were able to trace his Immortal energy signature from FICO to its place of remanifestation, and capture this fine specimen as he incarnated. Truly majestic, he is quite possibly the smartest, deadliest, and most powerful of all the immortals. And he's ours!

Like all Immortals, we can't dispose of him through simple murder - he'll just reform somewhere else. Instead, we keep him hovering in suspended animation, isolated from any objects or weapons he might use to banhammer himself or escape. Sadly, this is the only real option for neutralizing Immortals for any length of time - UNTIL NOW!
"

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"What's that, you ask? Is there finally a way to rid ourselves of this scourge? That's right! Thanks to the combined brainpower of one billion hidden Pandoranukers, the silver dream of President Justin has finally been achieved.

Antimortalium! The tiniest touch disrupts the energy of the undisruptable Immortal Core, dispersing it forever, along with the flesh of the unfortunate Immortal attached to it.

A simple matter of harmonizing the energy feedback of the Antimortalium drill to that of our guest, and then I pull this switch here -
"

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(WILD APPLAUSE)

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"That concludes our demonstration, and as you can see, it was a complete success!

I assure you we won't be seeing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turd again. Accept no imitations - the Immortals may try to put out impostors to fool you, but you'll recognize a fake by his lack of skill. Remember that this was one of the Immortals' finest elites! And now reduced to mulch by a simple touch of our new Energized Antimortalium! Good night everybody!!!
"

(Standing ovation)

(End transmission)

    (to be concluded)
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Postby Hoboman » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:24 am

Now that was funny. :lol:
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Postby Bragallot » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:35 am

This is obviously a troll thread in a way, and so far it's working.
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Postby Zupponn » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:36 am

I am left speechless and laughing :lol:
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Postby Ross_Varn » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:42 am

...

Oooh.

This is just payback for Warhead getting worked up over the Wiki edits.

God dammit, Stubby...
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Postby aoffan23 » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:46 am

stubby wrote:Image


This shot is my favourite part of this scene.
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Warhead wrote:I agree with QuantumSmurfer.



I agree with Warhead.
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Postby stubby » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:51 am

"Are we off the air?"

"Yes Mister Fedoranuker. You can remove the disguise."

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"Please, call me Fedonuker. Temporalnuker! Did everything go smoothly with the real Teenage Mutant Ninja Turd?"

"Yes Mister Fedonuker. We had him backstage, and timeshifted him into the future at the exact instant you disintegrated the fake Teenage Mutant Ninja Turd on camera."
"Anyone tracking the energy signature of his Immortal Core would have seen it vanish at the precise moment of his 'death.' As far as they'll be able to tell, the 'Antimortalium' worked perfectly.
"

"Don't be so sure; these Immortals have been around awhile and have seen a lot of tricks. They may not be fooled for long, if at all, but their enemies won't be so smart. They'll believe in the promise of Antimortalium. How long before the Turd reappears?"

"Impossible to predict, Mister Fedonuker. Forward temporal projection is an inexact science."
"We estimate a month or more, but that's just a wild guess. Some of the Gamblingnukers have started a betting pool.
"

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"Ready to initiate self-destruct sequence on your mark, Mister Fedonuker."
"All this energon is expensive, it's a shame we have to blow it up.
"

"Never underestimate the power of pink sparkles, Expositionnuker! Just like beige carpets, pink sparkles have a powerful demoralizing effect on Immortals, and may distract them enough that they won't see through our ruse. More importantly, any Immortal agent who comes here to investigate after we blow up this satellite will be irradiated with the stuff. Pink sparkle radiation! It will be hilarious."

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"HILARIOUS!!!! MUHUHAHAHAHA!"

    (the end! finally!)
Last edited by stubby on Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby RunsWithLegos » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:56 am

this... is... Awesome! XD now every one. lets not meta game! Let's use this plot device to it's fullest!
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Postby stubby » Sat Jun 18, 2011 1:46 am

Ross_Varn wrote:Oooh.

This is just payback for Warhead getting worked up over the wiki edits.

God dammit, Stubby...

I thought it was funny how Warhead flew off the handle over PN objecting to exactly the same thing that had got Warhead so pissed off at him in the first place. Aoffan explained it a little more straightforwardly, but I thought Fedoranuker would be a funnier response.

So now Fedoranuker is out in the universe; feel free to borrow him and use him in your own stories and battles.

But how did he get from inside Warhead's dream to hosting his own TV show? Here's the pseudo-scientific SECRET ORIGIN OF FEDORANUKER:

    There are all kinds of events that weaken the dimensional fabric of the universe and nature. ABS use is the most common cause; hyperspace travel stresses it as well. The supernatural nature of Immortals and the Undead add stresses of their own, and being both Immortal and Undead all in one minifig is just ridiculous. I mean what does that even mean? He can't UN-die? You can see why the universe gets confused.

    So wherever Warhead goes, and especially when he goes there by ABS hyperspace travel, it causes severe dimensional turbulence. When he crosses through areas of Negaverse activity, a large amount of that turbulence bleeds through in the Nega direction - some of it radiating so far that it goes all the way past the Negaverse and into the Nega-Negaverse, where you find the twisted opposite reflections of the already twisted opposite reflections of things. In the Nega-Negaverse, Spock has two beards.

    In between the regular universe and the Nega-Negaverse, the Negaverse (and, to a lesser oblivious degree, PeaceAss) acted as a focusing lens for Warhead's frequent outbursts, making bizarre distorted projections of his psychoses on the Nega-Negaplasm. Growing out of Warhead's irrational hatreds, one of these projections became self-aware, and began focusing on stoking the fires of Warhead's rage even further whenever the dimensional barriers thinned. The stronger the projection became, the more it was able to affect Warhead's dreams, until it was able to trigger a rage so fierce that it received a psychic power surge that allowed it to take physical form.

    Now running around loose in the regular universe, Fedoranuker still feeds on the energy of Warhead getting pissed off at things. Having no physical basis for reality of his own, Fedonuker can assume any form and create any number of offshoot underlings. However, because of the way he was created, his imagination is limited to stuff Warhead hates, and so mostly he creates different variations of Pandoranuker rather than doing anything useful like disguising himself as one of Warhead's allies and betraying him. Killing Fedoranuker has no real effect, since he reforms instantly, but at the same time he's not interested in killing anyone else either, since he needs their booty bothered to feed on like Bonn-o-Tron.


Basically, if you think of Warhead as the Batman, then Fedonuker is the Joker. His only motivation is to confuse and torment Warhead, the Immortals, and everyone else as much as possible.
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Postby Ex-Lep » Sat Jun 18, 2011 2:47 am

in that case, we need a fedoranuker smily to pull out when ever warhead gets pissed.
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