Peach Massacre: now involving Allied Nations refugees!

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Peach Massacre: now involving Allied Nations refugees!

Postby Colette » Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:28 pm

Alright so crappy pics but we were rushing this, no time to do any good set-up, take good ones, not to mention I wasn’t at home so not many resources to take good pictures with.

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The fringe planet Irinia was mostly uninhabited, with the exception of one major peach colony. After foreign forces swooped in and destroyed it, the peaches called upon the Allied Nations to label them refugees and rescue them, although it was secretly a ploy by the peach governments to evacuate a prominent scientist who was residing there.

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Reports had come to the intelligence agency of the Trattorian government that this scientist was among the refugee convoy and had a stolen bar of synthesized antimortallium, which the government felt could not fall into pro-immortal hands. They have the largest force on the map, with a tank, a dreadnought, and a squad of marines.

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The Time Traveling Super Jews wanted to interrogate this peach scientist for their own devious reasons. They brought a small exploratory squad and a tank killer, which truly lived up to its name later on in the battle.

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The Assyrians arrived for obvious reasons: kill the peach refugees. In their eagerness and haste to start killing peaches though they didn’t bring and vehicles with them.

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The truck with the five peach refugees and the peach scientist. It is being driven by two AN peacekeepers, which we decided couldn’t shoot at a faction until that faction attacked it.

Turn 1

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Okay, so I think the turn order went Trattorians-Jews-Assyrians-Refugees/AN. I didn’t take pictures of the Trattorians’ turn so the TTSJ tank destroyer blasts an arm off the dreadnought. The infantry kill some Trattorians as well.

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The Assyrians then mobilize, surrounding the truck and moving towards the TTSJs.

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The Assyrians are successful on the western front and kill ALL(most) THE JEWS, establishing their reputation as racist, genocidal fanatics.

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For this terrible and utmost racist deed the other Assyrians epic fail. Three of them aim at the peacekeepers but kill none, with the officer actually crit failing. The hero has more luck and kills a refugee though.

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The AN truck advances.

Turn 2

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The Trattorians move up and surround the truck, ready to retrieve the antimortallium bar.

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However, the jews strike a blow to the Trattorians, with their tank completely obliterating the dreadnought. I don’t know why I like the dreadnoughts so much, they are destroyed before they even get to fire a shot in all the games they’ve been in. Anyway, some more Trattorians are killed.

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I’m not exactly sure what happened here, I think the Assyrians decided killing the refugees was more important than defending themselves from the Trattorians so they kill two more. The peach in the grey suit was the scientist so the TTSJs are now permanently unable to achieve their objective. The antimortallium bar also spills out.

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Regardless, the AN soldiers push on, oblivious to the fact that they’ve lost over half the people they were trying to save.

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Of course, because of the fact that they are stupid peaches, the AN peacekeepers think they can drive between two tanks and get away with it.

Turn 3

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The Trattorians obtain the antimortallium. However, no one ever told the marine officer about its radioactivity so if he escapes the battle field he’ll metamorphosis into a twisted and sick pedo-creature.

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In celebration they kill a couple Assyrians.

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The last refugees are slaughtered by the jews.

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This is when the Jewish tank destroyer lives up to its name: In a single shot, it absolutely destroys and vaporizes the Trattorian main battle tank, perhaps a sign of things to come?

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(Excuse me for crap lighting) However, the victory is short lived as a squad of Assyrians blast a tread off the tank.

The AN truck continued to push on to the other side of the field.

Turn 4

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A marine attempts to put her OTC bayonet to good use and tries to backstab the Assyrian with it.

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Of course, she critically fails.

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However, her friends do it for her and manage to kick another into the underworld as well.

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The TTSJs, despite being the ones mostly responsible for the inadequate AN response and efforts, can take no more of their insolence and fire all available guns on the Mother-Zuckerman at the peacekeepers.

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Yeah, kind of explains it.

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The infantry then avenge their fallen comrades...

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...Before being avenged themselves.

Turn 5

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Alright, something happened so that the Assyrian army was reduced to an officer and a medic.

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Either way, the Trattorians have a firefight with the officer but still manage to mop him up and take the medic prisoner to support them in further operations on that planet. All seems well and done but the team seems to have forgotten something...

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Ah yes, the tank destroyer!

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But it turns out tanks aren’t the only thing it can destroy.

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An overview of the carnage.

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The only intact unit left on the field is the Time Traveling Super Jew Mother-Zuckerman Tank destroyer, so they win. The only team to achieve their objective were the Assyrians. The Allied Nations totally failed in safely transporting any refugees and lost two peacekeepers as a result.
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Because everything's better with math...and firepower.
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Re: Peach Massacre: now involving Allied Nations refugees!

Postby Jbgarrison » Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:47 am

So was this entirely played out by one person or were their different players controlling the various factions?
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Re: Peach Massacre: now involving Allied Nations refugees!

Postby Colette » Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:40 pm

It was played out between me and my dad, with my dad controlling the Trattorians, me the TTSJs, and both of us the Assyrians. The refugees just did whatever was the most logical choice.
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Postby Silverdream » Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:03 am

Pretty cool.

Btw, I don't have many friends either. Just a bunch of LGs that wouldn't want to do anymore than drink, get high, be dumbasses and fuck.
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Re:

Postby OneEye589 » Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:08 am

Silverdream wrote:Pretty cool.

Btw, I don't have any friends either.

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