Shadow and an Ork, Agony Aunts.

[The Shadowscythe]

ROIGHT THEN YOU STINKY GITZ, I IZ DEH ORK

And hello there, I am The Shadowscythe

OY! SHURRUP YOU! WHOZZIZ BOSS HERE?

I am the boss you bloody ingrate, now shall we continue?

OLROIGHT THEN, BUT I ONLY LETYA KUZ YOU IS ROIGHT SHOOTY!

Alright then, glad we got that overwith - allow me to introduce you to "Shadow and the Ork" wherin, myself and my . . . *ahem* . . . associate here take questions from the public, and then answer them, like an agony aunt service, except in brikwars, and with more "Orkyness"

DATS RIGHT! SHIT ABOUT TO GET ROIGHT ORKY GIVE US DEM KWUESTIONS SO WE KAN GET KRUMPIN ON DEM ANSWERS!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

[stubby]

Two questions!

6. What are we supposed to ask you about? Manners and etiquette? Cooking advice?
7. Once we have Ork answers why would we even need Shadowscythe answers?

[Thesson]

QUESTION:
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck IF a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Also I turned my parrot into a laptop, Should I shoot it?

[The Shadowscythe]

Two questions!

6. What are we supposed to ask you about? Manners and etiquette? Cooking advice?
7. Once we have Ork answers why would we even need Shadowscythe answers?

Question number six my Orky friend?

YOU KAN ASK ME ABOUT ANYTHINK, MANNERS IS ONLY GOOD WHEN YOU NEED NEW WAYS TO KRUMP, AND ETTI- ETTIQ- ETTI- FUK THAT, SOUNDS LIKE PANSY ELF SHIT, THEY KOOK UP GOOD AFTER A GOOD FLAMEIN! MAKE GOOD NOMS, AND GOOD HATS TOO.

And now question number seven? Well I suppose you don't need me really, but they had another seat to fill and someone had to do it. Besides - every so often, someone needs to break down the big, complicated words down to Ork here - I think he's still stuck on "Etiquette"

ETTI-

ETTI-WAT?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck IF a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Also I turned my parrot into a laptop, Should I shoot it?

And here we go again . . .

WUT YOU TALKING OUT WOOD FOR? WOODS GOOD ONLY FOR BURNIN, AND STABBIN, OR STABBIN THINGS FER BURNIN, AFTER A GOOD KRUMPIN. WHAT ARE YAH? ELF?

And as for the Laptop? Ork here hasn't much worked his way past the mouse . . . which he ate, after half an hour of trying to yell it into submission.

MOUSE NEEDED TO KNOW WHOS BOSS, GLOWYBOX NEEDED A KRUMPIN TOO!

[Zupponn]

WAAAGGGGHHHHH?

[The Shadowscythe]

WAAAGGGGHHHHH?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Seriously, did you see him saying anything else?

[RunsWithLegos]

OI YOU SNEAKY CHOPPY GIT WHY AIN'T DAT ORK KRUMPIN YOU LOIK E SHOULD?

[The Shadowscythe]

OI YOU SNEAKY CHOPPY GIT WHY AIN'T DAT ORK KRUMPIN YOU LOIK E SHOULD?

YOU TALKIN ABOUT? I IZ KUNNIN AND SNEAKY AN PLENTY KHOPPY! I WENT BAK IN TIME IN THIS WHIRLY ZOOMY THING AND STARTED KRUMPIN UUMIES!

THEN THIS SHADOW BLOKE TURNED OUT TO BE ROIGHT SHOOTY, AND THIS WARHED BLOKE TURNED OUT TO BE ROIGHT KHOPPY, NOW I TELL OTHER UUMIES TO BE RIGHT KHOPPY AND SHOOTY, THEN WEN I GET BAK TO THA FUTURE THINGY, MOAR UUMIES WILL BE ROIGHT KHOPPY AND ROIGHT SHOOTY, AND IT'L BE PROPAH LAUGHS.

WAAAAAAAAAAGH!

[IX_Legion]

Why does it seem like the orc has a British accent at times?

[Robot Monkey]

@Ork: So, who is the worst 'umie, in your opinion?

@Scythe: Who's the worst Ork, in your opinion?

[The Shadowscythe]

Why does it seem like the orc has a British accent at times?

I'll take this one - it's actually quite simple - all orcs come from a race of "Hyper cockneys" from about mid 1750's london - hence the accent, perpetual AAAAAAGGH-iness (yes that is a technical term) and love for jellied eels.

*Ork nods in approval*

@Ork: So, who is the worst 'umie, in your opinion?

@Scythe: Who's the worst Ork, in your opinion?

YEW ARE YOO LANKY STREAK OF PISS! GET TO SOM KHOPPY AND SOME SHOOTY YEW EEJIT!

I uhhh . . . .



I am not at liberty to discuss that question at this time.

WOT?

Oh shit . . .

[aoffan23]

I've been experiencing a bit of a burning sensation when I urinate. What should I do?

[Elmagnifico]

Could you give an example of enough dakka?

[Whiteagle]

Could you give an example of enough dakka?

I'll take this one...

You see this:


That... isn't enough Dakaa, as you can still see bits that aren't shooty!

[BFenix]

Ork, are you sure Scythe is the Boss here? I mean, he isn't green and probably also not bigger than you.