BrikwaRPG in the Yellow Sector: Turn 0 and beyond.

[Gorono]

I want George to move behind the palm near the blue landmine and then try a Heroic Feat attempting to shoow 2 arrows and once dealing double damage.After that i want to atack the Monkey.If i have any movement left i want to go back to my spawn point.

P.S. I don't want to sound stupid or anything like this, but what is the main target ???

[Silverdream]

Ans will shoot a grenade (I have more than one, right?) at the largest group ov scavs, than shoot any other ones I can. Also, I'm spending the 5th point on armor.

You only have one, but there are at least two explosives on the map.

[Falk]

Ok, scratch the grenade then.

[Silverdream]

Just need Zupponn's orders.

[Cytheran]

I want George to move behind the palm near the blue landmine and then try a Heroic Feat attempting to shoow 2 arrows and once dealing double damage.After that i want to atack the Monkey.If i have any movement left i want to go back to my spawn point.

P.S. I don't want to sound stupid or anything like this, but what is the main target ???

Lvl up. Kill everything. Be ossum.

Zuppon! Make some fucking doughnuts.

[Zupponn]

AHA! Sorry for my absence! I guess the Iron Chef fans want doughnuts, so doughnuts I shall make! Lets fry them up in the Frying Pan of Goodliness and start flinging them at the Bavarian landmines Mr. Game and Watch style. If anyone shall try to interrupt this awesomeness, then they will be hypnotized by the idea of pizza from the Shield of Reckoning and will go emo.

[Silverdream]

TURN ONE



Eberhard throws the chicken at the Scav guard.





"Thog like puny man."





The group isn't very effective at killing. I forgot to keep track of who shot the shitgoat and who shot the dungan.



"Vere ees ze enemy? Vho ees ze boss?"



"MIEN!!!!!!"



Lt. Harafkyn crushes the puny hippy that stands in his way with dakka.







Dr. Glassman stands behind cover, talking to himself.



"Does anyone else think that Trattorian medical science and biological studies have gone the way of the dinosaurs? Let me tell you, it's not about microbes and artificial DNA or eugenics today, but instead Apple brand everything."



He puts a Razgrizzly to sleep.



Zachary Nihil uses his salesmanship to bend reality at will.



"Every year, thousands of primitives and locals are able to walk into the greatest of fortifications with great ease."



"Buy landmines! Even the most intelligent shitbears can't resist stepping on it's gloriously explosive might!"





"See? It's as easy as scrubbing peach aids out with soap."



Soon, reality takes hold again.



Lt. Wolffe doesn't know any racial slurrs and doesn't know how to offend people that associate with shitgoats, dungans and razgrizzlies. So he attempts to moon them with his pants up.





It worked! A group of Scavs has been offended by the lack of nudity, shit and violence.





Pvt. Hans kills a Dungan.





George shoots a monkey, which falls and crushes a nearby scav.







Master Chef launches the donuts at the landmines.





One explosion kills Thog.



The other knocks Lt. Harafkyn around.



A Dungan jumps from the parapet.



And attacks Master Chef.



The Scavs on the left move up.



Klaus shows what a Kaiser can do.





"Knife to see you,



The Left.



The Middle.



The Right.



Lt. Harafkyn.



Zachary Nihil.

[Colette]

I use the scientific method to deduce the highest ranking scav out of the ones in front of me, and shoot him. Then move to the left of Lieutenant Wolffe.

Commence another angry rant (look up Rapture (Bioshock) and Ayn Rand quotes and try to string together a coherent speech). Hopefully it will overload the scavs' nervous systems and force them to lose an action.

[Kalvinator]

Okay, I run over at the right side of the wall, and just hold my ax out at the right minute to hopefully kill a scav, and, (depending if that's an action or not(cause I technically just raised my weapon)), I use the rest of my move to back away from the hoard of scavs and shoot any that come towards me.

[Scribonius]

"RAAAAR!" Lt Harafkyn rolls to the right to pick up his Halberd (trying to roll to his feet at the same time), then will attempt to cleave the lady with the brown shield next to the guy with the awesome hat. Eventual goal is still to attack the guy with the awesome feathered hat with intent to claim the hat, while shouting out some kind of orky-sounding challenge, like "I claim zat hat in da name of ME!"

[Zupponn]

Move up and peek through the window to see what's in the black fort, then start cooking up Thog using ancient Cajun recipes. This will entice the nearby scavs with the fabulous smell and then, after they have a taste, they will burn to death from an overload of spiciness. If any scavs get to close, attack them with the Frying Pan of Goodliness.

[Cytheran]

Zachary strolls casually to the rightside of the map. Now talking in a fake English accent for some reason. He will talk to the scavs trying to convince one that he should become Zachary's new assistant. A life of fame and riches and all that good stuff. Shoot him in the face if he refuses.

[Bragallot]

Go and help Harafkyn. Cover him with my shield, and shoot whoever's nearest to him in the face execution-style, preferably the guy in the hat who looks like he's a chief.

[Gorono]

I want to shoot at the guy with the axe and i want to use my elfish abbilities to talk with the monkey trying to make it be on my side.And can someone pleaase make some food for me please i am starving just from whatching those donuts flying .

[lawmaster]

Move to the black building (pick up the food) and feed a different scav. Shoot people up.