[HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills...

Share your tales of battle and mayhem

Moderators: Moronstudios, Killer Karetsu

[HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills...

Postby Cakeman » Sat Oct 27, 2012 6:54 pm

...of enormous strategic value. (I'd like to see Pesgores complain about these.)

So I'm still without my LEGO, actually until May next year but I still can't shake the need to do a little Brikwar... I guess it's that time of the year. So! Putting all my trust to the studgods I set out to do a minimal amount of shopping and getting down to business. Navigating my local toystore was easy and I was lucky! - the old lines of collectible minifigures were on sale. Since I didn't want to act like the mad and childish man I really am I just pointed at the box and asked the girl behind the counter to choose any two.

What is that you say? Never buy collectibles without feeling through the bags? Bah! Surly there will be battle galore and atleast one figure with some pointy implements. Ofcourse I *wanted* to feel through the bags... ok ok, I wanted to feel through the cashier :warhead: but if I'd went with that impulse I'd been locked away and so I skipped out on the second impulse too wich was to stand there like a little kid examining all the plastic bags while kids and parents in the line stared at me. I do that from time to time (some toystore employees really do give me funny looks. one has even denied me stating it'd be unfair) but I was so sure I'd get a nice little fight anyway.

Image

There! The forces are gathered, it's a legionnaire! Or a gunfighter, that'd be cool. And I really want a genie! Aww, anything will be great as long as it's not the freaky alien or the windup robot but Ha! This will be great. Let me just get this started and...

Image

You have to be kidding me! :fist: She handed me two identical figures? Two STATUES?!? But... wha... No! Think think think... this can still work. Because a Brikwar doesn't have to make sense. So I have these two chicks made out of stone, coming here swinging their granite skirts, maybe blushing slightly as the petite men down on the streets whistle appreciatively after them and stomping a 100 ton stone foot on anyone trying to take a peek up their dress. All dressed up in their best dress and tiara when, over the roofs, one of the statues suddenly realises there's another statue over there, and she's wearing an identical dress. The lava in her veins begin to boil in anger.

- You! Yes you, what are you doing here? Don't you know this is my neighbourhood?
The other statue (of... of Freedom) turns around, puts her hand on her hips and stares at Liberty.
- What are you saying?! Like this is your town? If these men like me better, you can just go down to the harbour and stand in the water.
- Slut!
- What what what?!? Come here and say that to my face!

Infuriated, Liberty pushes buildings aside as she makes her way over to Freedom. Her eyes blaze with anger, her torch (every woman needs a torch) blazes fiery hot. They come upon eachother on two hills. All men in the city watch, hoping for mudwrestling. Myself, at this point I'm trying to save this battlereport with a good setting, now that the minifigs weren't that exciting. No briks for a nice cityscene, but wait a minute... There's a reason I've had to move here and store my briks, and that reason is over there... aha!

Image

- Last chance bitch, go home or prepare to become gravel!
- Ohh, big words bitch. What kind of name is Liberty anyway? And why do you have that stupid accent?

Image

Infuriated, Liberty leaps forward with a mighty roar that shakes the houses and breaks all windows nearby. Freedom tries to block but the ferocity of the attack is to great and she takes the strike (with the power of a landslide) straight to the chest - the marble cracks and dust spreads.

Image

There's no blood ofcourse, but there can only be one giant female statue in a green dress in any city, so Liberty snickers at the pile of gravel and comissions a new road or possibly a pier or something, and then steps down into the water to wash her feet and flirt some more.

There! Supershort. I'd have better chances if Warhead was a judge I bet :wink: but I'll have to aim for points in Overall Appeal. Looking forward to reading the rest of the regular battlereports. Happy Birthday Brikwars!
User avatar
Cakeman
Minifig
 
Posts: 265
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:47 am
Location: Sweden

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Apollyon » Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:01 pm

You win. Also you arguably have the most awesome girlfriend on the forum. Epic.
Last edited by Apollyon on Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
If you're not into Metal you are not my friend!
User avatar
Apollyon
Playmobil
 
Posts: 1726
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2009 5:14 am
Location: I am in Berlin bitch!

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Silverdream » Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:07 pm

Nice realdoll, I'm thinking of buying one to put battles on like Bonn-o-Tron.

WRITING:5
PHOTOGRAPHY:4
VIOLENCE:1
GAMEPLAY:3
OVERALL APPEAL:5
Image

Spoiler: show
mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


Colette wrote:I hereby acknowledge Silverdream as the one and only forum troll as agreed in the bet.


Quantumsurfer wrote:No, I have 2 silver.
User avatar
Silverdream
Blockguy
 
Posts: 6755
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: In a giant pile of potatoes and red meat.

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby IVhorseman » Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:26 pm

Oh damn, thought that was a couch
User avatar
IVhorseman
If she don't want the brick, she won't get the dick
 
Posts: 6087
Joined: Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:12 pm
Location: The Abyss

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Zupponn » Sat Oct 27, 2012 9:28 pm

Silverdream wrote:Nice realdoll, I'm thinking of buying one to put battles on like Bonn-o-Tron.

WRITING:5
PHOTOGRAPHY:4
VIOLENCE:1
GAMEPLAY:3
OVERALL APPEAL:5

Photography only a 4? But there's absolutely no blurriness. I mean, you can see every seam in the fabric!
Image
User avatar
Zupponn
No Lego part truly dies
No Lego part truly dies
 
Posts: 5043
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:15 pm
Location: Wisconsin, land of the cheese

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Rev. Sylvanus » Sat Oct 27, 2012 10:02 pm

Apollyon wrote:You win. Also you arguably have the most awesome girlfriend on the forum. Epic.
For Your Reading Pleasure: Rev's Battle Reports

Reference Sheets: Animals and Mounts / Medieval Weapons

Factions: Dragon Guard / Hiimboredagain Raiders
User avatar
Rev. Sylvanus
Jaw-Jaw
 
Posts: 959
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 10:14 pm
Location: Appalachia

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Silverdream » Sun Oct 28, 2012 12:55 am

Zupponn wrote:
Silverdream wrote:Nice realdoll, I'm thinking of buying one to put battles on like Bonn-o-Tron.

WRITING:5
PHOTOGRAPHY:4
VIOLENCE:1
GAMEPLAY:3
OVERALL APPEAL:5

Photography only a 4? But there's absolutely no blurriness. I mean, you can see every seam in the fabric!


Image

The Statue of Liberty looks a little blurry in this one picture. Other than that, I could see detail down to the doll's pores.
Image

Spoiler: show
mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


Colette wrote:I hereby acknowledge Silverdream as the one and only forum troll as agreed in the bet.


Quantumsurfer wrote:No, I have 2 silver.
User avatar
Silverdream
Blockguy
 
Posts: 6755
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: In a giant pile of potatoes and red meat.

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Quantumsurfer » Sun Oct 28, 2012 2:34 am

Nice ass. Tell me, was the underwear uncomfortable?
User avatar
Quantumsurfer
Thank god for Colette.
 
Posts: 1086
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 5:27 pm

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Zahru II » Sun Oct 28, 2012 4:19 am

Varying degrees of fanservice
BFenix wrote:Zahru kicks so much ass!

Best rank+avatar combo on the boards

My stuff: Medivo / Armylists / Battles / SPACE
User avatar
Zahru II
balls just have this nasty tendency to wear out over time
 
Posts: 3980
Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:22 am
Location: Hüngäry

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Cakeman » Sun Oct 28, 2012 8:46 am

Silverdream wrote:Nice realdoll, I'm thinking of buying one to put battles on like Bonn-o-Tron.

Well, once you have one, there will be a lot less battles. You'd think they are easy to take care of but they actually require a lot of work and money. If just to have battles on, go for a couple of baseplates

Rev. Sylvanus wrote:
Apollyon wrote:You win. Also you arguably have the most awesome girlfriend on the forum. Epic.
.
You can only guess what I have to do to get her to allow this.. but thanks :)

Quantumsurfer wrote:Nice ass. Tell me, was the underwear uncomfortable?

You get used to it, the hard part is shaving my hairy buttocks to perfection.
User avatar
Cakeman
Minifig
 
Posts: 265
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:47 am
Location: Sweden

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Rev. Sylvanus » Sun Oct 28, 2012 12:12 pm

Cakeman wrote:
Quantumsurfer wrote:Nice ass. Tell me, was the underwear uncomfortable?

You get used to it, the hard part is shaving my hairy buttocks to perfection.


You mean she doesn't help you get there too?
For Your Reading Pleasure: Rev's Battle Reports

Reference Sheets: Animals and Mounts / Medieval Weapons

Factions: Dragon Guard / Hiimboredagain Raiders
User avatar
Rev. Sylvanus
Jaw-Jaw
 
Posts: 959
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 10:14 pm
Location: Appalachia

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Zupponn » Sun Oct 28, 2012 5:31 pm

Will there be a sequel battle for 2 other aesthetically pleasant hills? :warhead:
Image
User avatar
Zupponn
No Lego part truly dies
No Lego part truly dies
 
Posts: 5043
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:15 pm
Location: Wisconsin, land of the cheese

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Bragallot » Sun Oct 28, 2012 8:22 pm

GAMEPLAY: 0.5
Just two figs fighting with no real actual weapons at all.
PHOTOGRAPHY: 4.5
Despite the general teenboy hysteria we seem to be having, I think the ass could've been better 'cos I'm not even sure that's a girl. Picture quality was top notch though.
VIOLENCE: 0.5
Not much you could do. Maybe some spanking was in order to make up for it? :warhead:
WRITING: 5
I lol'ed several times.
OVERALL APPEAL: 4
Bonus point for an original approach and making due with what little you had.
Encyclopedia Bragtanica - Fantasy Battles - Scifi Battles
Zupponn wrote:I hope to offend everyone.
User avatar
Bragallot
Blockguy
 
Posts: 5116
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2009 2:00 pm
Location: Trying to find something stupid enough to say to get me a new custom rank.

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Paco » Sun Oct 28, 2012 9:50 pm

Loving the terrain!
Tzan wrote:
Silverdream wrote:the link for a kingdom in turmoil leads to grave tidings.


Are you getting your ideas for posts from fortune cookies?
User avatar
Paco
Jaw-Jaw
 
Posts: 776
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2010 9:12 pm
Location: Neo-Botswana

Re: [HH] SHORT battle for the aesthetically pleasant hills..

Postby Silverdream » Mon Oct 29, 2012 12:02 am

Bragallot wrote:'cos I'm not even sure that's a girl. Picture quality was top notch though.


I can confirm. Girls are known for having circular asses. Source: Me.
Image

Spoiler: show
mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


Colette wrote:I hereby acknowledge Silverdream as the one and only forum troll as agreed in the bet.


Quantumsurfer wrote:No, I have 2 silver.
User avatar
Silverdream
Blockguy
 
Posts: 6755
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: In a giant pile of potatoes and red meat.

Next

Return to Reports From the Field

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest