As usual, when the Halloween Hellhunt contest was announced, most of my lego collection was half a country away and in the middle of a fucking hurricane to boot (knowing my luck, a tree has probably fallen on it by now). But let's see... I have one box of lego containing no minifigs, a microship that's about 95% complete, and a camera...It has been nearly three months since the Royal Britannian Navy conquered the T.L.A.'s home system of Refuge. Their fleets routed, the remaining T.L.A. colonists cower in underground caves, hoping against hope for a miracle that will drive the Britannians from their world. As Britannian infantrymen begin the long task of turning this planet into the Queen's newest stronghold, their ships patrol the edge of the system, alert and ready to repel conquerors who might want the planet for themselves..."Tudor to Fleet Central, no sign of the enemy. Requesting permission to return to base, over."
"Tudor, your scheduled patrol is not yet complete. Is there an emergency on board?
""Yes, sir. It appears that Midshipman Jenkins has consumed our entire supply of biscuits. We're fresh out now.""Bloody hell!
Tudor, you have permission to return to base at full speed. We're clearing all traffic from your path now.""I do say, there appears to be an anomaly on scope. Captain, I believe we should investigate this before returning-"
Indeed, the Tudor
is not the only ship drifting in the dark between the stars...
to Mothership, final tests complete. The long-range sensor arrays are in perfect shape. We can even resolve the planet from here."
At this distance, the planet is barely visible, and the Britannian ships swarming around it can't be seen at all."Someday... someday we'll be back."
Omega: Excellent news. Now jump out of there before anyone sees you.
"It... may be too late for that. Mothership, we have a Britannian cruiser on scanners, closing fast. They'll detect us if we jump.""What? Get out of there, now!"
"Negative. Britannia cannot be allowed to learn of our existence... not yet. We'll have to take them out before they can get word to the inner system. Omega
, engaging!""Bloody hell, that's a warship! Sound the alarm! All hands, battle stations!"
"Captain to crew: we're entering engagement range. The target must not be allowed to escape. Helm, full throttle!"
"Rail gun has a targeting solution. Firing, firing!"
"Missiles have launched. Thirty seconds to impact.""Oh, bugger-"
The first railgun shell hits the Britannian ship, blasting through its forward armor to inflict a point of damage. "Captain, missiles are closing in. I strongly suggest we evade-""Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! All weapons, fire as you bear!"
accelerates as fast as she is able, but only her heavy laser is in range. She still does a point of damage to the Omega
. She also drops a torpedo, which remains stationary for now.
The Britannian captain pays a price for his bravado as Omega
's missiles hit, doing two points of damage to the Tudor
. "We've identified their drive signature. Captain, that's a T.L.A. ship --""It can't be! We destroyed them all!""Some of them must have escaped. We need to warn Fleet Central --""They're jamming our communications. We'll need to take them first."
"Captain, the rail gun has no firing solution. We're too close to the enemy!"
"Activate the radar jammer! Helm, maximum thrust -- we're going to blow right past them!""ahahahahahah...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
's maneuvering has inadvertently placed the Tudor
in a superb tactical position. The torpedo it dropped last turn doesn't even need to move in order to catch its target in the blast radius, and the Omega
takes a second point of damage. The Tudor
drifts along its vector, but rotates to bring all its weapons into firing range."All hands -- FIIIIIIIIIRE!""FIRE!""FIRE!"
Unfortunately, the T.L.A.'s targeting jammer works and manages to prevent any of the Tudor
's gunfire from striking home.
*According to Britannian fleet regulations, at least three people must shout "Fire!" before any weapons are discharged.
"Captain, we're moving too fast! We'll be out of comm jamming range in less than a minute, and they'll be able to contact their base --"
"We've got one last chance. Tactical, do you have firing solutions?"
"Yes, sir. Rail gun is aimed and missiles are locked."
"Fire at will."
The railgun shell goes straight through the Tudor
, ripping it apart and bringing the battle to a sudden end.
"Captain, their reactors and drive are down. I detect several distress beacons -- they are probably boarding the lifeboats now. Shall I shut down jamming?"
"Britannia cannot be allowed to know that some of us have survived. Oh, they will learn, soon enough -- but not today."
"We're not strong enough to liberate our world yet. Until then --"
"-- all we can do is keep the enemy in the dark."
Just one random act of violence can brighten your day. Especially if it involves explosives.