Path to the Grail

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

Moderators: Zahru II, Thesson, Magic Soap

Post Reply
User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Path to the Grail

Post by stubby » Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:36 pm

(Backstory: Quest of Piltogg)

Image

Alone, Artifakt-less, and surrounded by abominations, Piltogg is attacked!


Image

VAS KALLAS: "Are you sure this is wise?"

PILTOGG: "Using the Artifax makes combat too easy; it's pointless and dull. I have to train my natural skills without them. Why, are you worried I'll be hurt?"


Image

VAS KALLAS: "Of course not. Even if these Oktopustika creatures were a threat to you, you're standing over the most advanced medikal facilities in the sector. They wouldn't even give you time to bleed."

PILTOGG: "Then you're worried I'll accidentally summon something powerful enough to damage the facility."


Image

VAS KALLAS: "Losing our guests in the resurrection chambers would be unfortunate. But for the quest at hand, maintaining your skills is more important than any cost to equipment or personnel."

PILTOGG: "Then what is it?"

VAS KALLAS: "Since you've been using the Oktopustika to summon so many creatures for combat practice..."


Image

VAS KALLAS: "...you've been making some weird friends."

PILTOGG: "IA IA! G'HROOG FIB'TH MUR BRUP BRUP"

VAS KALLAS: "... what did you say?"

PILTOGG: "I said Okka-Wakka and Shab-al-Hiri Pony are cool. Not only are they cool, but they've shared some excellent insight on the path to the Grail that were unavailable to our conventional modes of research."

VAS KALLAS: "It's more than that. We were a gothy faction to begin with, but the BrikThulhu cultists you're attracting are taking it to a different level. And there are rumors that Shab-al-Hiri Pony has more in mind for you than the magic of friendship."


Image

PILTOGG: "The real drawback to slaughtering these creatures is the green ichor splattering everything afterward. Where is that janitor?"

VAS KALLAS: "Who?"

PILTOGG: "The janitor. Steublich. Efficient man, loyal, diligent. Where is he?"

VAS KALLAS: "Steublich! I forgot him. How is that possible? I don't think I've seen him in days."

PILTOGG: "You're not one to forget details. Something's going on. I'll put Oto on this."
Natalya wrote:Wtf is going on in this thread?

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by stubby » Mon Dec 24, 2012 5:38 pm

Image

PILTOGG: "Oto. I assume you monitored our conversation from three seconds ago and have already conducted a full investigation."

SECURITY DIREKTOR OTO: "Of course. I may not have a Stupendous Featinator, but I'm still capable of the occasional Security Feat when required. If you'll accompany me to the Resurrection Bay..."


Image

OTO: "Vas Kallas is not alone. Apart from you, Emperor, everyone in the facility has Koincidentally 'forgotten' Janitor Steublich. Your resistance to the effect may be thanks to one of your Artifakt bonuses."


Image

OTO: "Doktor Potterreich. What can you tell the Emperor and myself about our guests?"

DOKTOR POTTERREICH: "We are still working to isolate the witchblade effect in patient Blitzen, but it does not seem to be localized to our universe. We have had much more success with patient IV Horseman. The loss of his arm presented a fine opportunity to graft on new robot parts. This time, with chainsaws!"

VAS KALLAS: "Re-arming our enemies? Are you sure that's wise?"

POTTERREICH: "Re-arming, ho ho ho! Let's remember that I was appointed to this position for mad science, not wisdom."

PILTOGG: "And our third guest?"

POTTERREICH: "The third chamber is empty, mein Fuhrer. There is no third guest. But... wait! You're right! How did I forget?"

OTO: "Let's review the security footage."


Image

OTO: "This is our last recorded footage of Janitor Steublich, before the suddenly video cuts out. He's completing his scheduled cleaning and maintenance of the Resurrection Bay, nothing out of the ordinary. But it appears that we made a critical error."


Image

OTO: "We put the BrikVerse's most powerful Genie in a bottle, and forgot to tell the janitor not to polish the glass."


Next: You can tell your team to stop research on the Grail location
Natalya wrote:Wtf is going on in this thread?

User avatar
Zahru II
I kinda like it if the lady's dominant...
I kinda like it if the lady's dominant...
Posts: 4462
Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:22 am
Contact:

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by Zahru II » Mon Dec 24, 2012 7:02 pm

dis gun b gud
Image
My stuff: Medivo / Armylists / Battles / SPACE

User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by Silverdream » Mon Dec 24, 2012 7:06 pm

:omnom: Looking forward to the forum battle.
This sig is too fucking large: show anyway
Image lol j/k

cleanupcrew
Catastrophe Magnet
Posts: 2337
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:04 pm
Location: This Forum

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by cleanupcrew » Mon Dec 24, 2012 7:26 pm

Silverdream wrote: :omnom: Looking forward to the forum battle.
What about Rainbow War? Or 2010? Or the cool trading card game that I found a while ago?

I guess this is cooler.

User avatar
piltogg
Clown-Face Bologna
Clown-Face Bologna
Posts: 2024
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:16 pm
Location: Fictional Deutschland
Contact:

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by piltogg » Mon Dec 24, 2012 11:31 pm

:rule7:

User avatar
Ben-Jammin
Mega Blok
Posts: 1348
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:59 pm
Location: Not quite the middle of Appalachia

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by Ben-Jammin » Tue Dec 25, 2012 7:10 am

This is going to be epic.

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by stubby » Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:28 pm

Colette wrote:
Silverdream wrote: :omnom: Looking forward to the forum battle.
What about Rainbow War? Or 2010?
Stay tuned. I'm back on my crazy travel schedule for a couple of weeks, but there's more to come in 2013.
Natalya wrote:Wtf is going on in this thread?

User avatar
Silverdream
Nice use of noise
Posts: 6078
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:33 pm
Location: Sweating like a guy in a basketball manga

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by Silverdream » Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:59 pm

stubby wrote:Stay tuned. I'm back on my crazy travel schedule for a couple of weeks, but there's more to come in 2013.
That's what Piltogg said. In 1945.
This sig is too fucking large: show anyway
Image lol j/k

User avatar
Zupponn
if you give us money we will give you product
if you give us money we will give you product
Posts: 5603
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:15 pm
Location: Back in Wisconsin!

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by Zupponn » Sun Dec 30, 2012 12:11 am

I really like how Steublich is in all black.
Image

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by stubby » Sun Jan 06, 2013 8:28 pm

Image

PILTOGG: "Professor Kleiner, you can tell your team to stop research on the Grail location. Thanks to our friend Okka-Wakka, we've determined that it was never located inside our BrikVerse at all. It exists within a plane of spiritual transcendence, open to anyone who knows the way."

RESEARCH DIREKTOR KLEINER: "Yes, Emperor. But we have other concerns."

PILTOGG: "Rather than open the path ourselves, our goal now is to find beings enlightened enough to find the path to the Grail, and bend them to our will. There isn't much time. A coven of witches has already begun opening a passage on this planet: Mocia.

It's on the outer fringes of Medivo space, so we won't feel the full effect of the anti-teknology field, but our advanced tek will still be unreliable. We won't be able to use the Teleportation Accelerator to warp in. I'll need your team to begin refitting the Dethstar and dropships to adapt to the anti-tek field as much as possible; we'll be landing in person."

KLEINER: "Right away, sir. But in the meantime, the Koincidental spacetime events are increasing in severity. We haven't pinpointed the source, but it seems to be related to the Artifakts --"

RESEARCHER KENT: "Sirs! Koincidence levels are spiking!"


Image

KLEINER: "That's new."


Image

RESEARCHER LAZLO: "Holy shit!"

KENT: "Look out!"

PILTOGG: "Contain yourselves, gentlemen - you may not be soldiers, but you're still Akkadians, and cowardice is not tolerated. The defense patrols are more than capable of handling random falling objects. Professor?"

KLEINER: "Initial readings indicate these giant scaffolds are from somewhere within our own BrikVerse, but nowhere nearby. It appears that this spacetime tear Koincidentally ripped a containment section out of a SHIP-sized construction project and dumped it in our proximity instead. Whoever owned these is probably having a very bad day as a result. It's unlikely they'll be able to trace the event back to us, but events are impossible to predict if the Koincidence levels continue rising."

PILTOGG: "Excellent."
Natalya wrote:Wtf is going on in this thread?

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by stubby » Sun Jan 06, 2013 9:13 pm

Image

MECHANIKAL SPECIALIST VON MCBRAGG: "Mister Piltogg! So kind of you to visit my little workshop. I've designed so many upgrades for your hardsuit, if only you'll ask these mechanized thugs to step aside for a moment."

PILTOGG: "Thank you, McBragg, that won't be necessary."


Image

VON MCBRAGG: "I'll tell you what's not necessary! Using blasted cyber-ninjas to keep me from my work! Do you know how much I could get done if I didn't have to wait for your 'Imperial supervision' every time I wanted to tighten a screw?"

PILTOGG: "I admire your enthusiasm, as always. But the Artifakts are too dangerous a temptation to risk falling into treasonous hands."


Image

VON MCBRAGG: "Aye, temptation indeed! I admit, I have often paused to consider what wonders I could craft with the aid of the Stupendous Featinator, or the skill bonus from the Sword of Inhuman Strength. Imagine the armor I could forge with the Hammer of Discipline. It's hard not to imagine all manner of creations... when you're prevented from doing any actual bloody work!"

PILTOGG: "You'll have all the time with the hardsuit you could ever want. I, too, have been thinking about what these Artifakts could craft, and I won't be needing the suit much longer."


Image

PILTOGG: "Out of all the clones Akkadian science attempted from the Von Bragg line, you alone inherited the genius for invention, McBragg. But you also inherited a powerful disrespect for authority. The two must be connected somehow. Your Loyalty Index is even lower than Ross Varn's."

ROSS VARN: "Wait, what?"
Natalya wrote:Wtf is going on in this thread?

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by stubby » Sun Jan 06, 2013 9:54 pm

Image

ROSS VARN: "Hey Krus! Do you ever get the feeling Piltogg doesn't trust me for some reason?"

LORD KRUS: "Put it out of your mind. We need to keep our thoughts pure if we're going to prove worthy of finding the Skully Grail."


Image

Lord Krus's words do nothing to ease the tortured Heroic Ego of Ross Mordred Varn. His plans to betray Akkadia at the Battle of Krysto were never revealed, cut short at the last minute when he was killed at the hands of Cpl. Vesuvius and the troops of Blitzen's Grammar Inquisition. The Medix revived him successfully in the Resurrektion Chamber, but he can't shake the feeling that they know somehow!

It doesn't help that Lord Krus has became a superstar tween idol during Ross's recuperation, worshiped by girls and idolized by boys within both the Akkadian Empire and its neighboring civilizations. Meanwhile, Ross's popularity has only plummeted. Octopus-like tentacles of paranoia and emo Crankiness crawl through his dreams at night.



Image

BRIKTHULHU KULTISTS: "Don't worry Ross! We still think you're cool!"

ROSS VARN: "Thanks guys!"


Image

ROSS VARN: "Sometimes I think you BrikThulhuists are the only ones who understand me."

MORGAINE: "Shgvb throl. Goors fn'nnyuld hothahty'j otot!"

ROSS VARN: "What?"

MORGAINE: "You know we'll always be here for you, sweetie!"
Natalya wrote:Wtf is going on in this thread?

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by stubby » Sun Jan 06, 2013 10:15 pm

Image

VON MCBRAGG: "Have you gone mad? Are you trying to use the Hammer of Discipline to destroy the Stupendous Featinator?"

PILTOGG: "Watch and learn, inventor. I may not have your crafting skills naturally, but with the power of these Artifakts I can accomplish the impossible."


Image

With the Hammer of Discipline in hand, and a block of solid OT as his anvil, Piltogg takes maximum advantage of the Skill bonuses of the Sword of Inhuman Strength and the limitless Heroic Feats of the Stupendous Featinator. Within minutes, he has crafted the Featinator into a beautifully sculpted chestplate. By Koincidence, it's the same shape as Lord Krus's, which seems to be quite popular with Akkadian tweens.


Image

VON MCBRAGG: "Very impressive! But what's your plan now? Are you going to hammer that banner into a new hat?"


Image

Not a hat, but a new Oktopustika Cloak!

The remaining Artifakts combine easily. A few swift blows from the Hammer, and the Original OTC, Head Separator, and Sword of Inhuman Strength are melded into a blade of unimaginable power.



Image

PILTOGG: "I'll no longer be needing the hardsuit, McBragg. Do with it as you will."

KLEINER: "Emperor! We're detecting a massive surge in Koincidence levels! Brace yourself!"

PILTOGG: "Give me a break, Kleiner. What bracing could I possibly need, in a stylish outfit like this?"


Next: That's a direct rift into the Original BrikVerse
Natalya wrote:Wtf is going on in this thread?

User avatar
alphafalcon541
Dimmy
Posts: 578
Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2011 12:50 pm
Location: War torn Oregon

Re: Path to the Grail

Post by alphafalcon541 » Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:40 pm

Can we see a picture of the whole scene I'm amazed with your building skills
This sig is too fucking large: show anyway
Image

Post Reply
cron