Hey guys, this is my poetry

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Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby alot » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:27 pm

Please leave constructive feedback, be nice I am a beginner.


LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question….
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
(They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”)
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
(They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”)
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all;
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . . . . .

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby alotgirl » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:33 pm

wow u r an artist lol. i m impresd

u poetrey is soooo beatiful nd i luff it. good job
mai luf is strnger then ur h8 i luf alot nd we wil alwy be 2gthr 5eva i bi grl i cn sy cund cuz i hav respek 4 grl bdy u cnt say cund cuz iz a bd wrd u fuk
RL
HGHRWNSHSDLTGRLSHNGWTHTHRGRLUBLNG2HRnDNTHRTHRDNTPLYARNDPLyNZ4KDSFSHABBYMMUBNCE2HRKDSNDGVRSPK
TROLOLO
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby alot » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:35 pm

alotgirl wrote:wow u r an artist lol. i m impresd

u poetrey is soooo beatiful nd i luff it. good job


peaple r telin me that i am an artist 8) all the time and alot
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby alotgirl » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:41 pm

cn u write a poem bout me cuz u luff me for 8evas?
mai luf is strnger then ur h8 i luf alot nd we wil alwy be 2gthr 5eva i bi grl i cn sy cund cuz i hav respek 4 grl bdy u cnt say cund cuz iz a bd wrd u fuk
RL
HGHRWNSHSDLTGRLSHNGWTHTHRGRLUBLNG2HRnDNTHRTHRDNTPLYARNDPLyNZ4KDSFSHABBYMMUBNCE2HRKDSNDGVRSPK
TROLOLO
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby Colette » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:43 pm

Mod Note: This post plagiarizes a song by Eduard Khil. Poster is not a true artist, but a simple fraud. Punishment is pending.

Poster has also tried to impersonate a mod. Punishment is REALLY pending now.


alotgirl wrote:cn u write a poem bout me cuz u luff me for 8evas?

Here you go:

Ahhhhhhhhh
Ya ya yaaaah
Ya ya yaaah
Yaaah ya yah

Ohohohohoooo
Oh ya yaaah
Ya ya yaaah
Yaaah ya yah

Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh
Ye-ye-yeh
Ye-ye-yeh
Ohohohohoh

Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh
Ye-ye-yeh
Ye-ye-yeh
Ohohohohooooooooooo
Aaaaoooooh aaaooo
Hooo haha

Nah nah nah nah
Nuh nuh nuh
Nuh nuh nuh
Nuh nuh nuh
Nuh nuh nah!

Nah nah nah nah nun
Nun-ah nun
Nun-ah nuh
Nah nah nah nah nah!

Nah nah nah nah Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Dah dah daaaaaaaaaah...
Da-da-dah....
Daaah..
Da-dah...

Lololololoooooooooooooo!

Lah la-laaah
La la laaah
lol
haha

Ohohohoho
ho-ho-ho
ho-ho-ho
oh-ho-ho-ho-ho

Ohohohoho
ho-ho-ho
ho-ho-ho
Lololololooo...

AAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
eeeee-eeeee-EEEEEEEEE!

Luh-luh-lah...
Lah
Lah-lah

Ohohohohooooooooo!
BOPadudududu-dah-da-du-daaaah!
Da-da-daaaah
Daaah
Da-daaah...

Lololololo
lololo
lololol
Lalalalah!

Trololololo
lalala

Oh-hahaha-ho
Haha-hehe-ho
Hohoho-he-ho
Hahahaha-ho

Lolololololo
Lolololololo
Lolololololo
Lololo-LOL!

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
La-la-laaaah!
La la laaaah!
Laaaah
La-lah...

Ohohohohoooooooooo!
La, la-laaah!
La-la-laaah
lol
haha...

Lololololo
Lololo
Lololo

Ohohohoho!

Lololololol
Lololo
Lololo

Ohohohohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
---
Also, good job ripping off of T.S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" @ OP.
Last edited by Colette on Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Lego Company wrote:...At the same time, the purpose is for the LEGO brand not to be associated with issues that glorify conflicts and unethical or harmful behavior...


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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby alotgirl » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:45 pm

sht the fuck up dicksucka

my boifrend will kill u nd ur faget famly

die mudafucka die
mai luf is strnger then ur h8 i luf alot nd we wil alwy be 2gthr 5eva i bi grl i cn sy cund cuz i hav respek 4 grl bdy u cnt say cund cuz iz a bd wrd u fuk
RL
HGHRWNSHSDLTGRLSHNGWTHTHRGRLUBLNG2HRnDNTHRTHRDNTPLYARNDPLyNZ4KDSFSHABBYMMUBNCE2HRKDSNDGVRSPK
TROLOLO
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby Arkbrik » Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:59 pm

The Artwork forum is meant for works of art, not plagiarism. Colette has breached this rule by posting stolen material. Punishment will be sure and soon.
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby alot » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:11 pm

Arkbrik wrote:The Artwork forum is meant for works of art, not plagiarism. Colette has breached this rule by posting stolen material. Punishment will be sure and soon.


gd also i was riffin off a dead poet u know they have societies for that, bitch?
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby alot » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:13 pm

alotgirl wrote:cn u write a poem bout me cuz u luff me for 8evas?


A perpetual rose in a garden of prejucied
i am your gardner
im gonna plow yo ass so hard
you are going to be like a field
i am a medeval peasant
now back that ass up
before the thorns of the white rose
cut your gash cos colette is racist -
or do i mean mysogynistical?
So now I must go -
- increments...
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby Colette » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:14 pm

Arkbrik wrote:The Artwork forum is meant for works of art, not plagiarism. Colette has breached this rule by posting stolen material. Punishment will be sure and soon.

Go check out the OP before accusing me of plagiarism.

In fact, the lyrics I posted were a written interpretation of the original audible medium that Eduard Khil performed in and therefore can be considered a "derivative work", allowed under 1961 copyright law of the USSR (in which Mr. Khil resided).

The lyrics are taken from =Shuriken95. His usage of the word "enjoy" in the title as well as a free link to download the lyrics implies the allowance of free usage without citation.

Lastly, even if derivative works were not permitted under law for the trollolol work, its mass proliferation on the internet and the lack of legal action by the estate of Mr. Khil imply that he does not particularly care.
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby Magic Soap » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:18 pm

Colette wrote: implies the allowance of free usage without citation.


You've got to be fucking joking.
Somebody ban this pleb, wrecking the forums and being a general AnusStick.
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby Arkbrik » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:23 pm

The Artwork forum is not bound by the crass copyright laws of dead communist countries, or the legal dabbling of people who call themselves =Shuriken95 on the internet. Mr Khil is dead and has no say in the matter. The matter is a matter of postmodernism. Some would call it postpostmodernism.
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby alot » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:31 pm

i like posthardcore music
dose that count
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby Colette » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:35 pm

Image
There.
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Re: Hey guys, this is my poetry

Postby alot » Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:37 pm

Colette wrote:Image
There.


hey, i don't like this post pls remove it thank you
if u don't i will tell my pastor
my pastor will get the church involved
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