Chasing Rainbows Part III: Friendship is Tragic

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Chasing Rainbows Part III: Friendship is Tragic

Postby Theblackdog » Thu Sep 05, 2013 9:55 am

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Bob and his cabinet slaughter their way into the communications center.

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As Bob downloads data from the Herd's computers, three new figures teleport in...

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Bob: "Who the hell are you?"
George Takei: "Ah, how rude of me. Captain Sulu of the Federation Star Fleet. I require access to that transmitter."
Bob: "Really? You'll have to go through all of us then."
George Takei: "Oh my."
Bob: "..."

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George Takei: "Unfortunately, we're short on time here. So how about I offer you the formula for transparent aluminum in exchange for access to the transmitter?"
Bob: "Transparent aluminum? It's a deal."

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Takei activates the transmitter and broadcasts the Sea Pwny Song...

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Sparkly Twilight: "The cleanser probe is turning away!"
Rainbow Crash: "Don't let them escape! Chase them down!"
The entire Herd fleet abandons the base to pursue the probe and eliminate the last remnants of the Sea Pwny race.

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Later, aboard the T.L.A. flagship...
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Bob: "First things first. Here's a formula for Transparent Aluminum. Transmit it to our labs and get them working on synthesizing it."
Technician: "Right away, sir."

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Bob: "Good. Now, what was in the data we acquired?"
Technician: "Not very much, unfortunately. These guys seem like they're fairly unimportant in the grand scheme of things. They had orders to try and convert minifigs into joining the Herd, but there's nothing about their large-scale objectives. However, we do have a map of all the Herd bases in the region."
Bob: "Awesome. Where are they?"
Technician: "One or two in Britannia and the Scythian Empire, but most of them are in Bavarian space."
Bob: "Shit! Send a message to the Reichstag, top priority. He needs to hear about this before more of his people are subverted."
Technician: "Sir, are you sure they'll believe you? The Herd seemed pretty harmless on their own."
Bob: "The Bavarians may not see the threat themselves, but I know they'll believe me. After all, they're our friends..."
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Re: Chasing Rainbows Part III: Friendship is Tragic

Postby Bragallot » Thu Sep 05, 2013 2:53 pm

Goddamn it, this got baleeted :fist:
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Re: Chasing Rainbows Part III: Friendship is Tragic

Postby Silverdream » Fri Sep 06, 2013 11:22 pm

Pitz Palu, Erde, Bavaria

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Kaiser Klaus: I can assure you both, we are working on a larger space fleet to combat the Neu-AN menace. When it is time to fight, we will crush them in the stars. We will whiten the countryside with the bones of our enemies and fertilize our fields with their blood.

Arpad Lehman (RIN): The Neu-AN is the biggest threat we have to face. Our next fight will be a difficult one.

Karen Montague (Trattoria): I do not see how we can fight this enemy. Trattoria has the biggest Navy out of the Third Alliance, and beating the Praetorians will be a desperate struggle. The Scythians and the USA on top of that will turn it into a slaughter. Especially considering Sahaquiel's dissapointing performance.

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Corporal Schumacher: Herr Kaiser! Important message from the TLA. According to Bob, a radical group is secretly taking over Bavaria, th-

Kaiser Klaus: Let me guess, the Space Nazis.

Corporal Schumacher: No herr Kaiser, it's the h-

Arpad Lehman: The communists! Always trying to ruin Monarchial states. With your permission, we will assist you against this threat.

Corporal Schumacher: No Ambassador, it-

Karen Montague: It's the arts students! Never can trust anyone who doesn't live by STEM.

Corporal Schumacher: It's the herd. They attacked the TLA, and according to Bob the majority of their bases are set up all across Bavarian space. He sent the message to Von Klaus, who ordered me to deliver it personally.

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Kaiser Klaus: Interesting. Although I don't believe they are a threat to me, they should be attacking my enemies rather than my allies. Perhaps we can use them to our advantage. You said the majority of their bases are in Bavarian space, what about the rest?

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Arpad Lehman: I, and the nation I represent are disgusted by both pwnies and brwnies. I cannot love or tolerate being on their side. That being said, if you can get them to bloody themselves against our enemies I will ignore your dishonour.

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Karen Montague: I concur. Pwnies and brwnies are meant to be exterminated. Brwnies are a cancer among society, as they are focussing less on science and math. They also go against gender roles and celebrate a cartoon meant to entertain little girls. Thus, their purpose should only be to die and work for our benefit.

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Kaiser Klaus: It's good we can co-operate against our mutual enemies. Corporal, have the Reichstag deliver extra supplies of Bier in the TLA's next iron shipment. If they keep this up, they might earn a place as Bavaria's brother.
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