Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

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Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby Silverdream » Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:39 pm

The following isn't canon. It's Maeby's Cannon. Where anything can happen.

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The white room was illuminated by fluorescent lighting. It was absolutely spotless, completely sterile and in the opinion of Klaus Jr, completely boring. Where were the skulls? The fire? The daemonic incantations? Instead there were a few computers being worked at by pathetic weaklings. The Trattorian Empire was a nation built on intelligence, engineering, science and education. The Trattorian people were bred to be smart, labourious and focused. Whereas a normal fig might only be concerned with fighting, fucking, and boozing, Trattorians were only interested in fighting, engineering, science, math and writing standardized tests. To Klaus Jr., they were witless cowards who resembled pests more than allies.

"Greetings Kaiserin Siri, it's lovely to meet you." Klaus Jr. extended his hand, smiling warmly at Siri. "Likewise, Klaus." She smiled back, and it was almost cute of her. As a woman Siri didn't have much to offer him. She was cold, flat-chested and had no ass to speak of. Her face was pretty though. Green slanted eyes on pure yellow skin. She took his hand and shook it firmly. Her hand was dainty compared to his, but it was still strong. Probably from all the pencil pushing Trattorians did. "Madamoiselle Siri, can we move this conversation to somewhere more private?" "Of course, follow me."

Siri was flanked by two guardsmen. Unlike the ship's staff, they were true warriors. They were clad in black armour, which accentuated their muscles and physical stature. They brandished batons to inspire fear and show discipline. Trattorians were vermin, but the guards could be considered men. The trio lead Klaus Jr. to a small room. Unlike the rest of the ship which was sleek, round and white this room was dark and illuminated with blue lights. "Very futuristic. What room is this?"
"This is a private compartment for the use of personnel with social anxiety." Social anxiety? What kind of masochist would sign up on a boat with thousands of crewmembers?
"Oh?"
"Yes, if they turn up here we discipline them. A Trattorian officer that fears her own crew has no chance of leading them." "Very true Siri."
"Now Siri, I came to meet you in order to offer what you've always wanted. Eternal life." Siri looked at Klaus Jr., her expression unchanged.
"How?"
Klaus Jr. produced a small vial of light red liquid from his armour. "This fluid is the blood of Thadderyagh, spilled in battle millenia ago. As long as Thadderyagh lives his blood cells grant life and vitality."
"Interesting. I'll have a team analyze it, what do you want in return?"
"You can either inject it here or not at all. I will have no one else touching the blood of Thadderyagh. As for the price, I'll take my reward as soon as I think of it."

Siri furrowed her brow. "There's no way I'm going to stick an unknown chemical from a foreigner into my veins. I bet you even packed a dirty needle. So do we have a deal or not, Junior?"

Klaus' epaulettes glowed. They shifted and grew into golden armour, covering his vital areas. "Alright, since you insist it is only fair that we make a new deal." Golden spikes launched out of Klaus' armour, impaling the guards between the eyes. "You have no leverage, Siri." Siri pulled a pistol from her jacket and fired point blank. Klaus continued to smile as his armour absorbed the bullets harmlessly. He extended his hand, and a golden arm reached out of the armour. It fitted itself into Klaus' glove and formed into a spear. Siri's pistol jammed, and she quickly tried to reload the cartridge, but it was too late. "Urghk". She yelped as his spear tore through her arm. "Guards!"
"Hush now Siri. We're going away for a while now." Klaus held the spear and cleaved through the fabric of reality, creating a black portal. He carried Siri over his shoulder, and leapt through. The fabric sealed itself behind him.

Klaus held Siri firmly as he walked through the darkness. He had memorized the route perfectly, as a misstep meant death. Sleeping around him were death turtles. These beasts could stand up on two legs, and kil anything with a single touch. He made his way through their den, and arrived at a very moist cavern with an oval shaped entrance. It was a tight fit, and the walls were coarse with bumps, but with some effort they made it through. At the end of the tunnel was a room. Klaus' hand glowed green, and lanterns illuminated the pitch black area. Two perfectly spherical orbs sat in the center, resting at the top of two phallic pillars. Klaus put Siri down against the wall and healed her bleeding arm with a whispered spell. Siri breathed heavily, and began stuttering.

"Where are we?" she said, trying to keep her composure. Klaus leaned over her. "It's hard to find the veins in the dark, even with my knowledge of the body." He stuck the needle into her, and plunged. "Rainbow transparent is an interesting chemical. As you know, it's effects on the Trattorian body are different than normal minifigs." Siri punched Klaus in the face, and ran for the entrance. She made it three feet before she fell down. A golden knife had lodged itself in the back of her leg. Klaus kept his devilish smirk. "You Trattorians were never good at running were you? A Bavarian student could probably run faster than your best soldier." Klaus put his hand on her back, and held her shirt while he pulled the knife out. Siri yelped, and once more he healed her, whispering the same old words.

"The rainbow transparent will take it's effects soon. Right now you're growing a set of functioning genitalia. You'll also lose some knowledge of science and math. It will be replaced by a new libido." Klaus turned her over. "Maybe you'll get a set of breasts too." Siri began to sweat, and shake. "How do you know all of this?" she asked. "You don't think you're the first do you?"

Spoiler: show
OOC: There will be more, and it will get less rapey and more gross. Part of the reason that this is taking so long is because I don't like writing about it.
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby Colette » Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:02 pm

Silverdream wrote:...Part of the reason that this is taking so long is because I don't like writing about it.

Then why the hell are you? We don't like reading it either.
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby stubby » Mon Oct 14, 2013 6:52 pm

Colette wrote:Then why the hell are you? We don't like reading it either.

I think you just answered your own question, dude
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby samuelzz10 » Mon Oct 14, 2013 8:42 pm

Silverdream wrote:The following isn't canon. It's Maeby's Cannon. Where anything can happen.

Image



The white room was illuminated by fluorescent lighting. It was absolutely spotless, completely sterile and in the opinion of Klaus Jr, completely boring. Where were the skulls? The fire? The daemonic incantations? Instead there were a few computers being worked at by pathetic weaklings. The Trattorian Empire was a nation built on intelligence, engineering, science and education. The Trattorian people were bred to be smart, labourious and focused. Whereas a normal fig might only be concerned with fighting, fucking, and boozing, Trattorians were only interested in fighting, engineering, science, math and writing standardized tests. To Klaus Jr., they were witless cowards who resembled pests more than allies.

"Greetings Kaiserin Siri, it's lovely to meet you." Klaus Jr. extended his hand, smiling warmly at Siri. "Likewise, Klaus." She smiled back, and it was almost cute of her. As a woman Siri didn't have much to offer him. She was cold, flat-chested and had no ass to speak of. Her face was pretty though. Green slanted eyes on pure yellow skin. She took his hand and shook it firmly. Her hand was dainty compared to his, but it was still strong. Probably from all the pencil pushing Trattorians did. "Madamoiselle Siri, can we move this conversation to somewhere more private?" "Of course, follow me."

Siri was flanked by two guardsmen. Unlike the ship's staff, they were true warriors. They were clad in black armour, which accentuated their muscles and physical stature. They brandished batons to inspire fear and show discipline. Trattorians were vermin, but the guards could be considered men. The trio lead Klaus Jr. to a small room. Unlike the rest of the ship which was sleek, round and white this room was dark and illuminated with blue lights. "Very futuristic. What room is this?"
"This is a private compartment for the use of personnel with social anxiety." Social anxiety? What kind of masochist would sign up on a boat with thousands of crewmembers?
"Oh?"
"Yes, if they turn up here we discipline them. A Trattorian officer that fears her own crew has no chance of leading them." "Very true Siri."
"Now Siri, I came to meet you in order to offer what you've always wanted. Eternal life." Siri looked at Klaus Jr., her expression unchanged.
"How?"
Klaus Jr. produced a small vial of light red liquid from his armour. "This fluid is the blood of Thadderyagh, spilled in battle millenia ago. As long as Thadderyagh lives his blood cells grant life and vitality."
"Interesting. I'll have a team analyze it, what do you want in return?"
"You can either inject it here or not at all. I will have no one else touching the blood of Thadderyagh. As for the price, I'll take my reward as soon as I think of it."

Siri furrowed her brow. "There's no way I'm going to stick an unknown chemical from a foreigner into my veins. I bet you even packed a dirty needle. So do we have a deal or not, Junior?"

Klaus' epaulettes glowed. They shifted and grew into golden armour, covering his vital areas. "Alright, since you insist it is only fair that we make a new deal." Golden spikes launched out of Klaus' armour, impaling the guards between the eyes. "You have no leverage, Siri." Siri pulled a pistol from her jacket and fired point blank. Klaus continued to smile as his armour absorbed the bullets harmlessly. He extended his hand, and a golden arm reached out of the armour. It fitted itself into Klaus' glove and formed into a spear. Siri's pistol jammed, and she quickly tried to reload the cartridge, but it was too late. "Urghk". She yelped as his spear tore through her arm. "Guards!"
"Hush now Siri. We're going away for a while now." Klaus held the spear and cleaved through the fabric of reality, creating a black portal. He carried Siri over his shoulder, and leapt through. The fabric sealed itself behind him.

Klaus held Siri firmly as he walked through the darkness. He had memorized the route perfectly, as a misstep meant death. Sleeping around him were death turtles. These beasts could stand up on two legs, and kil anything with a single touch. He made his way through their den, and arrived at a very moist cavern with an oval shaped entrance. It was a tight fit, and the walls were coarse with bumps, but with some effort they made it through. At the end of the tunnel was a room. Klaus' hand glowed green, and lanterns illuminated the pitch black area. Two perfectly spherical orbs sat in the center, resting at the top of two phallic pillars. Klaus put Siri down against the wall and healed her bleeding arm with a whispered spell. Siri breathed heavily, and began stuttering.

"Where are we?" she said, trying to keep her composure. Klaus leaned over her. "It's hard to find the veins in the dark, even with my knowledge of the body." He stuck the needle into her, and plunged. "Rainbow transparent is an interesting chemical. As you know, it's effects on the Trattorian body are different than normal minifigs." Siri punched Klaus in the face, and ran for the entrance. She made it three feet before she fell down. A golden knife had lodged itself in the back of her leg. Klaus kept his devilish smirk. "You Trattorians were never good at running were you? A Bavarian student could probably run faster than your best soldier." Klaus put his hand on her back, and held her shirt while he pulled the knife out. Siri yelped, and once more he healed her, whispering the same old words.

"The rainbow transparent will take it's effects soon. Right now you're growing a set of functioning genitalia. You'll also lose some knowledge of science and math. It will be replaced by a new libido." Klaus turned her over. "Maybe you'll get a set of breasts too." Siri began to sweat, and shake. "How do you know all of this?" she asked. "You don't think you're the first do you?"

Spoiler: show
OOC: There will be more, and it will get less rapey and more gross. Part of the reason that this is taking so long is because I don't like writing about it.


You said anything can happen, so I shall continue the cannon.

Captain Boss suddenly walked into the void, and even though his pants were made of solid goldtanium his dick still stuck out a foot long. He had followed Klaus in to get to Siri, as his lust grew stronger he took out a gold vial, and turned into his vigilante justice alter ego, TUBA MAN. Siri put her plump lips on his mouthpiece conveniently placed between his legs and TUBA MAN let out a mighty roar that shattered dimensions.

Klaus was stunned, "WHAT THE FUCK" he said. He slowly started pulling down his pants, because the horns of the tubas protruding from TUBA MAN aroused him. He tried to put his shriveled up penis into one of the Tubas, but TUBA MAN kicked him away.

"DON'T FUCK WITH ME, OR FUCK ME!" shouted TUBA MAN, only being able to speak because of the air coming into his mouthpiece, supplied by Siri. Then, sperm shot out of all or the horns and TUBA MAN turned back into Captain Boss, and he spooned Siri and feel asleep.
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby Zupponn » Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:19 pm

Yes! Yes! Best Captain Boss entrance ever!
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby stubby » Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:16 am

wow unexpected twist
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby samuelzz10 » Sun Nov 24, 2013 7:30 pm

Silva, when is the next part of your magnum opus?
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby Silverdream » Tue Dec 03, 2013 7:37 pm

Suddenly, the orb began to glow. "Yes! This is the power of a billion libidos!" Klaus kried out. Everyone in the room was enveloped in a flash, thrown into a universe made out of people's fantasies.

"What the fuck is happening?" said Tuba man, now wearing an elaborate fursuit. "I'm a fucking rabbit or something."

"I can't comprehend anything that's happening in the slightest, but I yearn for cock. Klaus Jr. should be put on a sex offender list for this, even though I love it." said Siri, in a schoolgirl's sailor suit. "This is actually disgusting, someone is imagining a girl being forced against her will to enjoy sex even though she's totally disgusted, offended and hates sex. Not only is that really creepy and messed up, it's horrible to think about."

Captain Boss joined in on the conversation, his speaking was muffled through a ball gag. "Well I mean, some people have snuggle fantasies, and that's okay. It's totally okay to have a fetish, but I think it's really messed up to write erotica or satirical erotica about snuggle. Who knows if they're not just fantasizing about snuggle but planning to do it in real life?"

"Listen Captain, you totally had me on that first part. I agree with you there, but you lost me towards the end. What if snuggle based erotica stops people from fulfilling their snuggle fantasies in real life? Sure, some rapists or sickos might enjoy it as well, but it might stop them from doing this shit in real life."

Klaus Jr. burst in through the door. "Did anyone order a pizza viss extra sausage?! Also, I think you guys are ignoring something. Rapists and people with snuggle fantasies aren't really the same thing. I mean, I guess rapists will have snuggle fantasies, but they'll try to deal with their fantasies by snuggling people. Also I heard it was more of a power thing. People with snuggle fantasies often want to take their fantasies out in a safe way, like through consensual roleplay with safe words and through erotica. A ton of people with snuggle fantasies feel guilty after masturbating or exploring their fantasies. So in other words, snuggle play and snuggle erotica is okay, but snuggle in real life is not."



NOTE: SILVERDREAM DOES NOT HAVE A snuggle FETISH, HIS FETISH IS FOR BBWs
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby Overwatch_Elite » Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:55 pm

Big Black Women?
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby Zupponn » Thu Dec 05, 2013 4:14 pm

Overwatch_Elite wrote:Big Black Women?

Big Black Wiggers
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby Silverdream » Thu Dec 05, 2013 5:08 pm

Fat chicks.
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mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


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Quantumsurfer wrote:No, I have 2 silver.
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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby Silverdream » Wed Jan 01, 2014 11:44 pm

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You don't want to read this. Trust me.

Spoiler: show
"Yo Pinkie Pie, quit writing that shitty lego fuck and let's get banging" said Silverdream. "Okey dokey loki!" said Pinkie Pie. She had been writing a really odd story about Klaus Jr. and Siri getting it on to get aroused, now her pink pwny pussy was slick with pussy juice.

Pinkie Pie opened the door to see her boyfriend, a skinny caucasian male with long hair, a beard and an eyepatch. He was completely naked, Pinkie Pie looked at his tiny nipples, his horrific scars and each strand of his brown pubes. "Yo Pink, I got a new bitch to play with. Ain't that the shit?" Silverdream pointed to a woman with his erect penis. She was covered in black latex, with a humongous strapon between her legs. "Hello, you know who I am." she said. "That's right bitch, now get sucking that horsedick yo." The woman, a middle aged korean american began sucking off Big Machintosh. She started rubbing her clit as her tongue ran down every ridge in the red pwny's penis. After several minutes of bobbing on his cock, she tenderly licked the tip. "Nya nya, put it in pussy's puss-puss." she purred. She bent down, lifting her round ass up and Big Machitosh brought his penis to face her tight Korean vagina. "Phuk-yaa horse-sama, put it in mommy pussy's puss-puss." she said. Big Macintosh slowly entered her, his big cock stretched the tight pussy. If she wasn't so wet it would be impossible to stick it in. He brought his horse cock backwards and entered her again. With each stroke, he entered her harder and faster, and she grunted in pain each time. She took little pleasure from the massive cock, the only thing she liked was being full of horse cum. "Hurry up and cum already, my puss-puss yearns for horse semen." He sped up, and fucked her harder. Her tits jiggled and she was pushed forward with every thrust. Big Mac let out a big neigh, and filled her womb with pwny cum.

"Our turn, bitch." said Silverdream as her put his tentacle in Pinkie Pie's Pussy. More tentacles came out of Silverdream's ass, and the pulled all of Pinkie Pie's limbs outward, making her completely helpless. The suction cups held her in place. His cock tentacle went into Pinkie Pie's asshole, which was completely caked with shit. It went all the way into her intestines, through her stomach, up the esophagus until it came out of her mouth. That's when a fountain of semen burst through the tip, covering the horse. "Yo silverdream, I'm your daughter. This is incest." Pinkie realized. Silverdream went bareback into the horse until he came in her womb. "While now you're pregnant with my incest baby you pink horse."
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mgb519 wrote:Seriously, you are now the first ever forum superhero.


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Re: Maeby's Cannon: A kiss on the butt

Postby Arkbrik » Thu Jan 02, 2014 8:18 am

6/10 made me giggle, but not many jokes and the part with Colette's mom dragged a bit.
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