The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

They're all the rage

Moderators: Kommander Ken, Duerer, Elmagnifico, BrickSyd

User avatar
ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
Posts: 1351
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:04 pm
Location: Now I'm in New York, making bacon pancakes

The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by ninja_bait » Fri Apr 19, 2019 7:59 pm

Recommended Reading
Theblackdog's companion microspace battle

Location: Planet New York

A number of factions clash across the planet, all hoping to unlock the secret of Austin's Box. A memorial to the battles that have come before stands quietly at the edge of the city.

Image

Immortal forces arrive, led by a Terrorkhan captain. Fate has led them here.
Image

The captain reads the inscription aloud. "May this flame burn as long as there is hope for peace in the galaxy. Ha!"
Image

The Immortals are caught off guard by a band of Luchardsko soldiers. "Prepare to die, Immortal scum!"
Image

A fierce firefight ensues, but the Luchardskoans are led by the infamous mercenary Blue Guy, wielder of the Buttnomikon.
Image

The bulk of the Immortals are soon buried in poop, while the others seek what little cover they can find.
Image

Da Brootalz show up, incited by the violence. They are led by the horrible Albino Brootal. "Grr!"
Image

Behind some nearby rubble, the crew of the Pericles scouts out the situation. "Now there are Brootalz?! We were right to wait for back up. President Bob and more T.L.A. forces should be here any moment, and then we'll have these losers outnumbered."
Image

Meanwhile, Dr. Carlson and President Austin continue to ride the elevator to the surface. "Do you feel it, Dr. Carlson? The end grows ever nearer for all of us. That fighting above us? If there's anyone left to remember it, they'll know it as the Last Battle of New York. If you want to protect your future, you must protect my Box!"
Image

The ground under the monument shakes and opens up...
Image

...and Dr. Carlson emerges, wielding Austin's Box!
Image

An intense light emanates from the box, seemingly of its own accord.
Image

"What...
Image

"The...
Image

"Fuck?"
Image

The light fades, revealing Carlson's forces - the last of the Trattorians!
Image

President Bob and his cabinet arrive on scene. "Where the hell are my guys?"
Image

Overwatch:
Image

Factions:
Luchardsko - Falk
Da Brootalz - Kommander Ken
T.L.A. - Theblackdog
Immortals - Rev Sylvanus
Trattorians - Duerer

Goal: Capture Austin's Box

Rule notes:
*Each squad has a hero, the Trattorian Hero is Dr. Carlson.
*The Buttnomikon has a Shart Beam and a Poop Shield. It also causes any Brootalz within 4" to critfail all rolls.
*Austin's Box is able to vaporize combatants and gives nearby allies +2 to dice rolls against Immortals.
Last edited by ninja_bait on Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:57 am, edited 3 times in total.
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
Kommander Ken
bad at shitposting
bad at shitposting
Posts: 1946
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:25 am
Location: Getting Brootalized

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by Kommander Ken » Fri Apr 19, 2019 11:12 pm

OI LADS, BAWSS GRIMJAW WANTS DAT BAWKS FER SUM REASON, LETS KNICK IT FROM DESE YELLOW PANZEES!

User avatar
ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
Posts: 1351
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:04 pm
Location: Now I'm in New York, making bacon pancakes

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by ninja_bait » Mon Apr 22, 2019 9:05 am

Still looking for two sign-ups to start this battle! The fate of the galaxy is in your hands!
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
Duerer
Forum Champion 2016-2017
Forum Champion 2016-2017
Posts: 2821
Joined: Sat May 03, 2014 11:22 am
Location: The Advent Void

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by Duerer » Mon Apr 22, 2019 3:18 pm

Whatevs, just give me the Tratts.
Winning Contest Entries
Show
ImageImageImageImageImage
Battles and Stories and Stuff

User avatar
ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
Posts: 1351
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:04 pm
Location: Now I'm in New York, making bacon pancakes

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by ninja_bait » Tue Apr 23, 2019 8:33 am

Round One

The Trattorian Kaptain rouses his men with a short speech. "The Fates' humor is twisted, but we are here for the Box at all costs; ignore those Brootalz for now!"
Image

The two Terrorkhans combine their unholy strength to upend one of the eternal flames.
Image
Image

One of the Immortal troopers shoots at President Austin, who deflects it with his Nova Sword.
Image

The other trooper manages to take down an unlucky drone.
Image

The Kaptain punts the monument across the map.
Image

It disrupts the Trattorians on the far side of the memorial.
Image

The Terrorkhans rush into close combat with dual cutlasses.
Image

They manage to damage one of the Interdimensionoids.
Image

President Austin responds with surprising competency, beheading the Terrorkhan.
Image

The Interdimensionoid struggles to pierce the Kaptain's heavy armor, even with the Antimortallium bonus.
Image

Takuya and a drone murder the Immortal trooper who tried to kill Austin.
Image

Carlson summons the power of Austin's Box. "Ooka Shaka! Ooka Shaka!"
Image

A terrorkhan is vaporized by the death beam.
Image

T.L.A. soldier: "That's a whole lot of enemies. Can we take them all?
Bob: "FUCK YES WE CAN!"
Image

Bob and his cabinet rushes into battle.
Image

He splatters a drone with the Chain of Command.
Image

Two guys kill another drone with their bolt guns.
Image

The other two attack Takuya.
Image

"I die in peace... Knowing my name will be remembered forever!"
Image

Da Broozas rush President Austin. "DIS ONE LOOKS LIKE DA BIGGEST PANSIE! GIT DAT YELLA GIT FIRST! (NO OFFENSE, BAWSS)"
Timmy: None taken.
Image

At first it looks like Austin has the upper hand, blocking the Brooza swords with ease.
Image

But the swords are just a feint, and Austin is unprepared for the real attack! "YEAH DAT'S DE BROOTAL WAE, DEAL WIDDIT!"
Image

Timmy the Albino Brootal reaches into his bag for goodies.
Image

A delicious Kronut from Krumpin' Kronuts!
Image

Filled with explosive jam! [FEAT FAILED] Timmy is disrupted but unharmed.
Image

The Spess Meanies dip their rifles in the Poop.
Image

With their guns tipped with Poop, surely they'll get some damage bonuses or something! "LET'S MAKE DEEZ YELLOW TURDS (NO OFFENSE, BAWSS) EAT SHIT!"
Image

One of the Brootalz manages to kill a cabinet member. It isn't clear if the poop helped. "SEE, TOLD YA THAT WOULD WORK!"
The other Brootal'z gun jams with an unsatisfying BLORP noise. He'll need to clean it next round.
Image

Blue Guy decides these other factions look kinda risky so he walls off the T.L.A. and Brootalz. "That Ragnabook WILL be mine!"
Image

The troopers take down an Interdimensionoid.
Image

The others try to kill Carlson but the weapon rolls are weak.
Image

Trattorians: 2/8 alive, 3 kills
Immortals: 2/5 alive, 1 kill
Brootalz: 5/5 alive, 2 kills
T.L.A: 4/5 alive, 3 kills
Luchardsko: 5/5 alive, 1 kill

I forgot to take the Overwatch shot so enjoy this gaffe where I accidentally had Carlson vaporize one of his own drones.
Image
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
Kommander Ken
bad at shitposting
bad at shitposting
Posts: 1946
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:25 am
Location: Getting Brootalized

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by Kommander Ken » Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:10 am

LUCHA-SHART PANZEES! :fist:

User avatar
ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
Posts: 1351
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:04 pm
Location: Now I'm in New York, making bacon pancakes

Re: The Last Battle of New York [Round 2]

Post by ninja_bait » Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:38 am

Round Two
The Immortal Trooper takes a potshot at the Trattorian Interdimensionoid.
Image

This gives the Terrorkhan Kaptain just enough of an opportunity to roll out from under the droid.
Image

The Kaptain's black steel blade cuts through the droid like butter.
Image

As the Immortals duck for cover, the Kaptain calls in a "special favor"
Image

Carlson moves to face the larger threat, lining up to catch as many Luchardskoans in his Beam of Peace as possible. He uses his science knowledge to increase the power of the beam.
Image

Blue Guy catches the beam on his Shitshield.
Image

"Get out of the way! This turd won't hold for long!"
Image

Everyone attempts to bail, but two Luchardskoans are caught in the beam anyway.
Image

Carlson grabs Austin's Nova sword and cowers in the corner. "What am I doing," he wonders to himself.
Image

The Brootalz suddenly swarm his position. "SURPRISE YA YELLA SCIENCE GIT (NO OFFENSE BAWSS)!"
Timmy: None taken.
Image

But it is the Brootalz who are surprised, by the durability of the Nova sword.
Image

Timmy gathers himself. "Think, Timmy, what did Sir Rojo teach you about winning battles?"
Image

"Oh yeah, use your head!"
Image

S P L A T!
Image

The wall is sent sky-high.
Image

It crashes down, pulping one T.L.A. secretary, disrupting another, and sending Blue Guy onto his bum.
Image

The Spess Meanie tries to shoot a T.L.A. soldier but the gun just clicks. Seems the shit has dried up.
Image

The other Brootal pulls out some toilet paper and starts cleaning his gun.
Image

President Bob: Looks like if I wanna get to those Immortals, I'll have to do some radical landscaping first! Get this greenery outta the way!
Image

He winds up the Chain of Command.
Image

Pow! Double kill!
Image

This T.L.A. secretary's gun also clicks, leading to an awkward stand-off.
Image

The remaining T.L.A. member recovers from being hit by a wall of shit.
Image

Immortals scatter as Brootal Bitz come raining down from the sky.
Image

The Luchardsko troopers kill the last Immortal trooper.
Image

Meanwhile, Blue Guy considers his foe. That's one powerful nerd.
Image

He fires his Shart Beam, but it is met by Carlson's own blast!
Image

I keep rolling ties on the dice, and the beams struggle to overtake each other.
Image

Blue Guy's had enough! He decides to take down Carlson the old fashioned way.
Image

But Carlson deflects with the Nova Sword.
Image

Carlson: You're no match for SCIENCE!
Blue Guy: Yeah, well at least I'm not a NERRRRD!
Image

OVERWATCH
Image

Trattorians: 1/8 alive, 5 kills
Immortals: 1/5 alive, 2 kills
Brootalz: 3/5 alive, 3 kills
T.L.A: 3/5 alive, 5 kills
Luchardsko: 3/5 alive, 2 kills

SEND IN ORDERS please
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
Maraxous
Juggaloaf
Juggaloaf
Posts: 208
Joined: Wed Apr 05, 2017 3:28 pm

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by Maraxous » Sat Apr 27, 2019 9:25 pm

:D I'M NOT A NERD! Classic.

User avatar
Kommander Ken
bad at shitposting
bad at shitposting
Posts: 1946
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:25 am
Location: Getting Brootalized

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by Kommander Ken » Sun Apr 28, 2019 6:34 am

Roasted. :owned:

User avatar
TheLEGObrick
Hero
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2018 8:37 am
Location: Probably somewhere?
Contact:

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by TheLEGObrick » Sun Apr 28, 2019 3:24 pm

I probably don't have to tell you that the battle seems pretty cool :lol:

User avatar
ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
Posts: 1351
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:04 pm
Location: Now I'm in New York, making bacon pancakes

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by ninja_bait » Sun Apr 28, 2019 4:58 pm

TheLEGObrick wrote:
Sun Apr 28, 2019 3:24 pm
I probably don't have to tell you that the battle seems... pretty cool? :lol:
Yeah, I know how cool my stuff is.
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
Maraxous
Juggaloaf
Juggaloaf
Posts: 208
Joined: Wed Apr 05, 2017 3:28 pm

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by Maraxous » Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:00 am

It wasn't till the second time I read this that I realized Timmy was the leader/hero :oops: It is awesome that he didn't just survive by putting on the uniform, but BROOTALIZED his way to leader :twisted: :studgod:

User avatar
ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
Posts: 1351
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:04 pm
Location: Now I'm in New York, making bacon pancakes

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by ninja_bait » Sat May 04, 2019 8:15 am

Round Three

Carlson stares down Blue Guy, knowing that if he looks away for a moment he's dead.
Image

Come on.... Blink, damn it....
Image

But both Blue Guy and Dr. Carlson forgot that the Immortals were down but not out. "Warhead sends his regards, Trattorian," the Kaptain hisses in Carlson's ear.
Image

"Okay, that was pretty sweet. Cancel the airstrike we were planning as the 'special favor' he requested. We no longer have to wipe him off the face of the earth for his failures."
Image

The Kaptain tries to pick up Austin's Box.
Image

But the Antimortallium sears his hand and he reels back, screaming.
Image

Meanwhile, Timmy's blood rage boils.
Image

He begins to wrestle with President Bob over the Chain of Command.
Image

"Listen here, you dumb ork, do you know who I am?"
Image

"I AM-"
Image

"-what the fuck? You're just some kid!"
Image

Timmy grabs his helmet and flees in shame. [FEAT FAILED]
Image

"OI, DAT YELLA GIT IS MAKIN FUNNA DA BAWSS'S SKIN KONDISHUN!"
"DAT AIN' ROIGHT!"
Da Brootalz fire on President Bob, but he is saved by a redshirt.
Image

The last remaining secretary fires on a Brootal but his armor is too S T R O N K.
Image

Meanwhile, Bob begins gathering bricks for a construction feat.
Image

The feat succeeds, and he now holds a Poop Buzzsaw!
Image

The FEAT CRITICALLY SUCCEEDS and he shreds the last brootalz with the saw.
Image

Meanwhile, Blue Guy makes his way over to Carlson's corpse. "Shame you blinked. Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and come back like President Austin. Ha! HA! Fat chance."
Image

Blue Guy lifts the two Ragnabooks to the sky.
Image

A strange beam hits him.
Image

The books crackle with ancient energy. Blue Guy's men bow in awe, but President Bob stands defiant, wary of the power here. "The T.L.A. has been Luchardsko's ally in the past. Join me in the conquest of the galaxy," Blue Guy says. "Together, we can stop Ragnablok."

"I'm not here to deal with Ragnablok," Bob replies. "My people are done fighting that kind of war for a while. We're here for Antimortallium, because it's time to kill Warhead."

"The Antimortallium I can give you. It's not integral to the power of the Ragnabooks. And I believe there is one of Warhead's lieutenants, still alive here."
Image

"TAKE ME TO WARHEAD, YOU SCUM," Bob growls. "TAKE ME TO THE BIG ONE."
Image

Meanwhile, Blue Guy is summoned back to space. The battle in orbit has resumed.
Image

LUCHARDSKO WINS

Thanks for playing as always! Hope you enjoyed.
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
Posts: 1351
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:04 pm
Location: Now I'm in New York, making bacon pancakes

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by ninja_bait » Sat May 04, 2019 8:23 am

Meanwhile, the antimortallium detector sits in a pool of caustic Brootal blood.
Image

Ooh, Dr. Carlson, I don't feel so good...
Image

Fortunately, Immortal soldiers spot the glowing shard. "Inform Lord Warhead. He'll want this shard for reabsorption."
Image
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
Falk
Oh no whatever will we do without the buttplugs
Posts: 1090
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:43 pm

Re: The Last Battle of New York [SIGN UP TODAY]

Post by Falk » Sat May 04, 2019 8:29 am

Two down, two to go
BrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
Empire of Luchardsko WIP wiki page

Post Reply