On the surface of planet Iter, Immortal forces are hard at work trying to cut their way into a Trattorian lab.
A command APC drives up, and a familiar figure steps out.
Warhead Shard: Chief Scientist, why haven't you gotten through the door yet? This should have been done days ago!
Chief Scientist: Apologies, my Lord, the laser is simply not powerful enough to cut through this door!
Warhead: Gah! I've had enough of your excuses!
Chief Scientist: *CHOKES*
???: Now, now, Lord Varhead. Iv you kill all my scientistz, zey vill not be able to get srough zat door.
Warhead: Fine. You explain to me then, why the laser still hasn't cut through.
Bot Brag: Vell, iv you hadn't taken avay my body, zis would haf been much easier.
Bot Brag: Vat ze fuck!
Warhead: Shit! The Luchardskans are here! Man the defenses, men!
Scientists: Aaaaah! Run!
The TLA and Luchardskan force has arrived on Iter, lead by Omar the Construction Guy, and Blue Guy, wielder of two RagnaBooks.
The Battle of Iter has begun.
Immortals Turn 1
The Immortal forces waste no time, and rush to the walls. The APC rams its way through to get its machine gun in range faster.
Captain: Open fire men!
Troopers: But sir, they're out of range!
Captain: Just do it! It'll look cool!
Improved skill dice don't do much when your targets are out of range, and all the shots miss.
TLA Turn 1
Omar: Come on men! Make Bob proud!
The nailgunners open fire on the troops behind the wall, but both miss. Omar and the others move up, ready to get into close combat.
Luchardsko Turn 1
Blue Guy moves up, and unleashes a deadly beam from Austin's Box. The troopers follow him, readying to respond to Immortal attacks.
10 on 1d10 means two dead Immortal soldiers.
The Jaguar moves forward, and triggers response fire from the waiting Immortal Jaguar.
Fortunately for the crew, it doesn't do any damage. The gunner responds with a shot of his own.
It punches through the front armor, and whizzes past the fleeing scientists. The Immortal trooper doesn't even blink.
The Jaguar fires one of its grenades into the guardhouse.
The soldier inside is instantly killed.
Immortals Turn 2
The APC keeps moving forward, but gets stuck on a tree.
The machine gun opens fire on the Luchardskan specialists, but all its shots miss.
Warhead says "Fuck this" and does for the hammer slam.
His attack does massive damage, pulverizing the front of the Jaguar.
Unfortunately for Warhead, this is exactly the sort of attack the Luchardskan troops were waiting for.
Fortunately for him, all their shots miss, or are absorbed by his armor.
Warhead: Ha ha!
Officer: We're under attack! Get reinforcements here ASAP!
The trooper misses his shot on Blue Guy.
Bot Brag: Get zat lazer turned around!
Scientists: Right away!
The Jaguar fires another shot at its counterpart.
The shot misses again.
TLA Turn 2
Omar: Lets get 'em, boys!
The TLA men are very effective, tearing apart the front of the APC.
The nailgunners fire on their opponents. One scores a kill, the other misses.
Luchardsko Turn 2
The marksman takes a shot at Warhead, but it's intercepted by a redshirt. The machine gunner gets into position to fire next turn.
Massive damage kills the APC's gunner, and blows open its side.
The Luchardskan troopers fire again.
Poor armor rolls combined with a failed redshirt roll mean that this Warhead shard goes down.
Warhead: I fucked.... your...moms...
Blue Guy tries to vaporize the Captain, but the beam is intercepted by a mysterious energy shield (failed SN die).
The Jaguar fires at the enemy Jaguar again, but does pitiful damage.
The driver launches his other grenade at the Captain.
Turns out it was a dud, and it explodes early.
The troopers move up behind Blue Guy.
Immortals Turn 3
The scientists finish their run away from the battle.
A partol makes its way to the battle.
On the other side, a hardsuit responds to the call for reinforcements.
The APC's driver decides to man the machine gun, and opens up on the construction workers assailing his vehicle.
A redshirt saves Omar, but one of the nailgunners is shredded.
Omar: You better not have gotten any blood in my coffee!
The trooper with the flamethrower tries to fire over the wall, but manages to miss the TLA man.
The other troopers finish him off though.
The Captain and a trooper fire at Blue Guy, but the trooper misses, and the Captain does terrible damage.
The scientists finish turing the laser around.
Bot Brag: Set ze lazer to tight beam, long range.
One of the troopers tries to take out the Jaguar's gunner, but he misses.
The Jaguar and hardsuit fire on the Luchardskan Jaguar, but their shots are ineffective.
TLA Turn 3
Omar throws his hammer at the flame trooper.
It does nothing.
The nailgunner fires, but misses.
Luchardsko Turn 3
The marksman misses his shot on the APC's driver.
The machine gunner tries to take him out as well, but he misses. Fortunately, his gun doesn't jam.
Blue Guy's beam misses him as well. #Blessed
The Jaguar's gunner opens fire, and manages to kill a trooper. His shots against the other Jaguar and the hardsuit don't do enough damage.
Three troopers combine fire on the APC's driver, and finally kill him.
The other two troopers try to take out an Immortal soldier, but both miss.
The sergeant drops his gun and rockets forward.
His attack is barely parried by the Captain's katana.
Immortals Turn 4
The flame trooper manages to set the last nailgunner on fire.
And a shot from the trooper finishes him off.
Two Immortals down a Luchardskan soldier.
The Captain counter attacks, but the sergeant easily dodges the attack.
An Immortal trooper takes out another Luchardskan.
Bot Brag: Feuer!
The laser lances out, just barely missing the sergeant.
A poop shield springs up to protect Blue Guy from harm.
The trooper behind him is not so lucky, and gets bisected by the beam.
The hardsuit and Jaguar combine fire, further damaging the Luchardskan Jaguar.
TLA Turn 4
Omar: Argh! Those fuckers got blood in my coffee!
Omar straps on a K4-RAP, and charges at the two Immortal troopers.
Both of them go down to his fury.
Luchardsko Turn 4
The marksman takes a shot at a distant target.
The shot neatly severs Bot Brag's controller.
Bot Brag: Nein!
The rocket launcher trooper repositions across the road.
The machine gunner opens up on the Immmortal troopers, taking one out before his gun jams.
The duel continues with the Captain barely parrying the Sergeant's attack once again.
The last two Luchardskan troopers fire at Immortal troops, both of them miss.
The Jaguar fires on the hardsuit, but his shot doesn't do enough damage to break through its armor.
The Jaguar surges forward, ramming through the gate, and bisecting the trooper behind it.
Blue Guy fires his beam at the Jaguar, but the Jaguar's armor resists the powers of the RagnaBooks.
Immortals Turn 5
The laser fires again, decapitating the Sergeant, and prematurely ending the duel.
The trooper takes out the marksman, then takes cover behind the guardhouse.
The Captain charges Blue Guy, but his pistol shot misses.
The Captain: Eeeew
The Jaguar and hardsuit combine their fire once more.
TLA Turn 5
Omar: Die, coffee spoiler!
Luchardsko Turn 5
The Luchardskan troops combine fire on the Captain, but both miss.
Blue Guy and the rocket launcher trooper combine their fire.
Good rolls mean the hardsuit is destroyed, and more damage is done to the Jaguar.
The Jaguar uses its flamethrower to light one of the scientists on fire.
Immortals Turn 6
The Captain once again tries to kill Blue Guy, but fails yet again.
More ineffective fire from the Jaguar.
The laser doesn't do any damage either. The scientist puts out his fire.
Luchardsko Turn 6
The machine gunnner finishes the Captain's career.
Blue Guy and a trooper damage the Jaguar further.
The Jaguar's flamethrower kills a scientist, and lights the other on fire again.
The troopers put him out of his misery.
Immortals Turn 7
The Jaguar finally manages to do damage to its Luchardskan counterpart.
Luchardsko Turn 7
Blue Guy finishes off the Immortal Jaguar.
Luchardsko and TLA win!
Overwatch shot of the carnage.
Empire of Luchardsko WIP wiki pageBrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
- Kommander Ken
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