1 Make your army entirely out of Vikings and Ninja.(The plural of Ninja is Ninja)
2 Give the majority of your army pistols and various tools. Shovels, wrenches, tea cups, the whole nine yards.
Another thumbs up. Death by garden tools!
3 Your hero is An Hero. Ask about it at 4chan for research.
Again, thumbs up. Yes, I know what An Hero is.
4 Your squads will be led by a collection of various animals who act just like animals.
"But sir, isn't it illogical to roam in circles on this side of the mountain when our allies are being slaughtered on the other side?"
5 Three words: Polar Bear Cavalry.
I have 2 or 3 polar bears. I just need a way to fasten seats onto them. Perhaps elastics. I think I'm going to go tinker once I'm done writing this.
6 A giant catapult that launches kamakazie kittens.