Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse: Gaiden - Turn 1

They're all the rage

Moderators: Elmagnifico, BrickSyd

Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse: Gaiden - Turn 1

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:37 am

All right! We've finished turn one for the first bunch of teams. For everybody who hasn't put in orders yet, there's still time to go back and do so.

I had booty bothered over here rolling dice for the Vladtron forces (and making us margaritas), which turned out to be a mistake - I was rolling like crap for the Jellybeans, while her dice were on fire. Some things we learned:
    1. The catapult always misses.
    2. Stalin's double-strength throwing power isn't all it's cracked up to be.
    3. A fish is not as good of a weapon as you would think.
And now, on with the show! I'll break the teams into separate posts to make things easier on myself.
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:46 am

Warhead wrote:IVascus the Agile will balance on his trusty horses head as it charges towards the catapult. With a death defying acrobatic feat as yet unphotoshoped he will summersault onto the top of the catapult and slap the guard silly with the fish and the yellow bent fruit he has in his hand.


    Image
IVascus's death defying somersault falls under his Spider Gymnastix ability; he gallops forward and launches off his horse's head with no difficulty.

    Image
With swashbuckling flair, IVascus gaily slaps the Vladtron troop across the face with a fish. This hits, but thanks to a poor roll (0 on 1d6-2), this does no damage and therefore has no effect.

    Image
Before IVascus can make his second attack with the banana, the irritated Vladtron troop hits him in the face with his axe. IVascus rolls badly on his armor (4 on 2d6) and is killed outright! His dead body falls from the railing to splatter on the ground below!
Last edited by Rayhawk on Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:51 am

Arkbrik wrote:Sir Stalin will walk forth to the VladTron trooper standing on the ground, step up onto the barrel, deliver a dazzling speech on the benefits of Communism, for no apparent reason music starts to play, the VladTronian will be overcome with revolutionary fervour and join Stalin on his quest.


    Image
Unfazed by the death of IVascus, Stalin plops down his barrel and attempts a Communist Feat. (We decide that if he fails, he and the Vladtron troops will join together in a Communist revolution against the monarchy of King Meth.)

    Image
Stalin rolls a 2 and his speech is not very convincing. But the Vladtron troop rolls a 1 and is extremely weak-minded! He becomes Stalin's communist comrade!
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:58 am

    Image
The Vladtroop on top of the cart is enraged at the lower Vladtroop's betrayal! He fires the catapult at him to destroy him! Unfortunately he blows the roll and ends up hitting himself in the face with the catapulted firebomb.

    Image

The firebomb does 9 damage, vaporizing the Vladtroop's head and blowing the top off the cart.

FINAL TALLY, WARHEAD AND ARKBRIK:
IVascus is dead, but Stalin has picked up a new ally; the cart is minus one catapult but otherwise his mission to steal it is a success. Mostly Victory!
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:04 am

Theblackdog wrote:IVascus the agile will throw his Banana (or his apple or fish, whichever is more appetizing) so that it lands in the catapult bucket on the wagon. When the trooper on the wagon climbs into the bucket to retrieve the banana and eat it, IVascus will board the wagon, trigger the catapult and send the troop flying off the map. If for some reason he can't activate the catapult himself, he will use a heroic feat to call upon the almighty Hand of the Overlord to do it for him.


    Image
IVascus spurs his horse to the starboard side of the cart, to get into throwing range of the catapult bucket. "Hello Vladtroop! I know that we're enemies, but how'd you like to try a bite of this delicious banana?"

    Image
Sadly, we'll never find out if the Vladtroop would have been fooled by this, because IVascus rolls just fine for range, but then crit-fails the attack roll. The banana ends up directly beneath his horse's hooves.
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:09 am

lrdofbricks wrote:sir stalin, who I would like to call 15th century arnold schwarzenegger, will jumpbehind the carriage and pick it up, and after looking both soldiers in the eye he will proclaim in a deep, guttural voice "austa lavista baby" he will proceed with flipping the carriage so the man on top falls and then dumping it on both of them, kill them.


    Image
This is a perfect feat for super-strong Stalin.

    Image
He only rolls a 2, but the Vladtrons only roll a 2 to oppose him - success! "Holy crap!!!" notes the Vladtroop on the ground.

    Image
Both Vladtroops manage to successfully Bail out of the way. The troop on the rooftop takes some falling damage, but survives.
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:13 am

    Image
The Vladtroops pick themselves up and dust themselves off. Since they don't have enough movement left to attack IVascus or Stalin, they grab the halberds off the roof of the carriage and make ready to Response attack anyone who comes around the corner.

TURN SUMMARY, THEBLACKDOG AND LRDOFBRICKS:
No one's been killed yet, but Stalin is PUMPED. Ready for Turn 2 orders.
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:19 am

Almighty Benny wrote:IVascus the Agile will peacefully feed the apple to the horse pulling the carriage in an attempt to befriend it, but as soon as he gains it's trust, he will smack it in the face with the fish. "lol, stupid whores"


    Image
IVascus sneakily offers a delicious apple to the horse, who unsuspectingly eats it. IVascus then slaps the horse with a fish. He rolls 0 for damage on 1d6-2, causing the horse not to notice at all. IVascus says "lol, stupid whores." Both IVascus and horse are completely satisfied with this sequence of events.
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:28 am

piltogg wrote:Stalin the Strong, has hidden inside his mysteryous barrel; an RPG! he uses it to blow up the whole catapult/jail vehicle. That being destroyed, he can now see the strange "tentacle trees" he exclaims "wtf is this?, it must be a trap set by Vladmir." Thus warning sir IVascus of the iminent danger, most likely far more deadly than the two ninny Vladtron troops.


    Image
Stalin reaches into the barrel for his RPG, but pulls out a monkey instead! "That fucking IVascus!" he thinks, forgetting that RPGs haven't been invented yet and are really more his successor Sir Krushchev's kind of thing in any case.

Stalin is full of rage! He decides that if he can't blow up the carriage with an RPG, he'll use his bare hands instead!

    Image
His Feat of Strength is successful! He rips the rear of the carriage apart with his bare hands. Inside he discovers the unexpected corpse of the Sparkly Purple Wizard of Yendor, who got stuck in the prison and forgotten for so long that he starved to death. Too bad! But not important to this story!
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:33 am

    Image
Alarmed by Stalin's vehicular vandalism, the Vladtroop on the rooftop fires the catapult at him. He misses as usual, hitting the tree instead. The tree survives but is set on fire.

    Image
The ground troop runs up to attack Stalin with his axe. Stalin tries to parry with the wagon axle, but to no avail; his terrible armor roll of 3 on 2d6 is no match for the Vladtroop's damage of 7 on 1d6+2. Stalin goes down!

    Image
And so does the axle! The Vladtroop survives the axle falling on him, but isn't strong enough to lift it off. He's trapped!

TURN SUMMARY, ALMIGHTY BENNY AND PILTOGG:
Stalin is dead, but his monkey lives on like Bonn-o-Tron. The damage to the wagon means that IVascus is going to have trouble succeeding in his mission to steal it. Neither Vladtroop is hurt, but at least one of them is helpless. Ready for Turn 2 orders for IVascus and Piltogg's monkey!
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:39 am

Moronstudios wrote:Stalin will rip off the wheel closest to him and throw it at the troop leaning on the carriage door as hard as possible.
He will then throw the dead body at the one that is manning the catapult on the roof.
Finally, he will empty his bladder behind the two piece rock.


    Image

Stalin crit-fails the Feat of Strength roll to tear off the wheel and throw it, but the Vladtroops crit-fail the roll to resist it, so we rule that Stalin tears the wheel out of the axle so hard that he loses his grip and falls over backwards, becoming Disrupted.

The ground Vladtroop is unsure what to make of this strange behavior.
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:46 am

Tzan wrote:IVascus:
Inserts the banana into the fish's mouth then gently slides it in and out [suggestively] to check that the fit is just right.
He then aims the bananafish cannon at the trooper on the ground and gives it a good squeeze.

Hopefully the banana will land at the troopers feet, when he becomes alerted to the danger he will slip and fall to the ground. Thus making it easier for Stalin to deal with him.


    Image
IVascus slides the banana in and out of the fish's mouth, asking, "Hey fish! Do you like banana sticks?" Meanwhile, the Vladtroops beat his Slapstick Feat roll with 6 against 5, causing it to fail.

It wasn't a very serious Feat, so the consequences aren't very serious either; the fish bursts a seam and sprays fish guts into IVascus's visor. He'll need to spend his Action next turn cleaning it out to be able to see out of it. The banana squirts limply out of the fish, and the horse chomps it out of the air before it can cause any trouble elsewhere. Yum!
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:54 am

    Image
The trooper on top of the wagon would like to fire his catapult at IVascus, but Stalin lying disrupted on the ground is an opportunity he can't pass up. The Vladtroop climbs up on the railing and prepares to execute his finest WWF aerial maneuver. (That's right, I said WWF, not WWE. This is because I'm old school.)

    Image
This is an example of why I shouldn't have let booty bothered roll for the Vladtrons. That's 4 for the attack roll (hit!), 2 for the Momentum bonus, and then a whole pile of bonus dice on the axe damage. Stalin wins the MOM vs. POP contest, so no extra smash damage, but he's still looking at 19 points of damage. He rolls a 9 for armor, which is not good enough to save him. Stalin is ANNIHILATED!

    Image
IVascus is too far away to attack, so the second Vladtroop runs over to loot Stalin's dismembered corpse instead. It'll take him all of next turn to finish putting on the magic rainbow armor.

TURN SUMMARY, MORONSTUDIOS AND TZAN:
Stalin is dead, and the Vladtroops are looting his armor. IVascus has got a face full of fish guts. Things aren't going well so far. Ready for Turn 2 orders!
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:01 am

Leprechaun wrote:stalin will throw his barrel onto the top soldier's head, and as he trips off the roof to his demise, He then holds the other in a headlock as IVascus uses his agility to hold the flame in his bare hand, and he slowly roasts the lower soldier's face until he joins their noble cause as a human pack animal / human shield. If he still resists, Stalin will stuff his limbs, one by one, between the spokes of the wheel as IVascus drives the carriage, breaking or tearing them off.


    Image
Stalin climbs the ladder up the back of the wagon and chucks the barrel at the upper Vladtroop's head. It's a perfect hit! Even with double damage thanks to Stalin's great strength, Stalin rolls a zero on 2d6-4 and the Vladtroop is unhurt.

    Image
He's still knocked back two inches though, landing face first in his horse's butt. This spooks the horse, causing it to charge; it crashes into IVascus's horse.

Both horses have Structure Level zero, so do no damage, but they have to roll Knockback to see if IVascus's horse gets trampled. (booty bothered insists on rolling her glittery My Little penis colored dice for the black horse.) Both get a Bonus die, but the rolls end in a tie; both horses are stopped in their tracks.
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:04 am

ltobvious wrote:IVascus:
The horse notices IVascus, pulls out a minigun from a cleverly hidden spot behind the boulder, and begins to fire a barrage of hot led towards IVascus. IVascus jumps from his steed as it EXPLODES from one bullet barely grazing it, runs towards the horse matrix style and sqeezes his banana until the fruity projectile flies from it's yellow launcher and smacks the horse in the face, throws his apple towards the guard sitting atop the Carriage, wich is knocked onto the opposite end of the catapult, releasing a rock up into the air, that promptly lands ontop of the other guard, bounces back up, hits the palm tree wich then spontaniously explodes, releasing a shockwave with just enough enough energy to hurl the stone into the basket. IVascus then delivers a cunning punch line so cool that for your own safety, I will not write it. For if you read it, your head could implode causing a singularity that would suck your whole neighborhood into oblivion.


    Image

IVascus spends the turn imagining that all that stuff in ltobvious's orders actually happened, and thinking he's totally awesome.

Meanwhile, the black horse eats his apple while he's zoned out.
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
 
Posts: 1016
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA

Next

Return to Forum Battles

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests