Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse: Gaiden - Turn 1

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Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:10 am

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The barrel-headed Vladtroop drops his axe to have both hands free to remove the barrel.

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He throws the barrel at IVascus, but crit-fails the attack roll and hits the horse in the head instead. Fortunately this does no damage.

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The other Vladtroop gets back up (he Bailed earlier to avoid getting run over when the horse charged) and heads towards the front of the wagon.

END OF TURN SUMMARY, LEPRECHAUN AND LTOBVIOUS:
Not much progress has been made, but at least the upper Vladtroop has lost control of the catapult and his axe. Ready for Turn 2 orders!
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Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:16 am

IVhorseman wrote:IVscus:

IVascus sizes up his opponents, and tosses a banana peel onto the floor between them. He then proceeds to slip on the banana peel, and using the momentum from his slip, fly into the air and land sword-first into the soldier on top of the carriage.


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IVascus gets an easy success (5 vs 1) on his Acrobatic Feat, banana-peel surfing up to the wagon and somersaulting up towards the roof. (We rule that because the Vladtroops rolled a 1, the banana peel koincidentally lands under the feet of the ground troop.)

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Banzai! This was a difficult photograph to capture.

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IVascus nails the attack roll and gets a questionable momentum bonus for damage. The Vladtroop never had a chance.
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Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:24 am

MasterEcabob wrote:Stalin will rip the rocket engine off of the carriage wheel and attach it to has barrel along with the giant boulder. Then he fires off the rocket at the carriage, utterly destroying it.


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Once again, rockets are more Khrushchev than Stalin, so they don't really fit into his Cliche for Feats of Strength. Angered by this, Stalin decides to pick up a boulder and do things the old-fashioned way.

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Super strength means double range and double damage for throws! Unfortunately a roll like this on a range of 2d6-2 is still only 1".

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The surviving Vladtroop rushes forward to attack Stalin, not realizing the banana peel is still under his feet. Splat!

END OF TURN SUMMARY, IVHORSEMAN AND MASTERECABOB:
IVascus and Stalin are doing pretty good; the wagon they're trying to steal remains undamaged, and the sole surviving Vladtroop is lying Disrupted on his face. Ready for Turn 2 orders!
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Postby Theblackdog » Sun Aug 02, 2009 8:23 am

IVascus charges the Vladtron troops. As they lower their halberds to skewer him, he uses his Agility to backflip off the horse and land behind the Vladtrons and decapitates one of them with his sword. In the meantime, he orders his horse to maim the other Vladtron if it survives. "Betsy, ATTAAAAACK!"
Just one random act of violence can brighten your day. Especially if it involves explosives.
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Postby ltobvious » Sun Aug 02, 2009 9:01 am

IVascus:
IV is awoken from his boredom induced daydream by a very rude horse devouring his delicious mid-afternoon snack. "hey! That's my lunch, you twat!" IVascus pummels the horse in the jaw with his fish. IVascus then jumps off his steed and drop-kicks "bucket-head" in the face.
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Postby Silent-sigfig » Sun Aug 02, 2009 9:07 am

I want stalin to pull something out of the barrel, and throw it at the horse.

Oh, and use an IRON KURTAIN to kill the catapult guy.
BFenix wrote:
Silent-sigfig wrote: :dog:

Coolest 1000th post ever :D
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Postby IVhorseman » Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:39 am

Do I spy a VladTroop in the catapult's bucket? Oh that's just too good to pass up.

Let's launch the corpse out of the catapult and hit the remaining VladTroop with his buddy's headless corpse. It may not be the most effective of weapons, but it's definitely the creepiest!
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Postby Almighty Benny » Sun Aug 02, 2009 11:13 am

Rayhawk wrote:Hey fish! Do you like banana sticks?


That makes the horse a dapper banana!

Have IVascus toss his fish aside and ride his trusty steed across the battlefield and straight onto the trapped Vladtroop (hopefully squishing him).

If he succeeds and has the other Vladtroop in his line of sight, have IVascus angrily throw his banana at him. Call out to the Piltogg monkey if it hasn't already noticed the banana.

If he succeeds but cannot see the other Vladtroop, have him dismount and pick up the Sparkly Purple Wizard of Yendor's Sparkly Purple Wand (with the intent that he will give it to Dogdu later). He should be waiting just inside the wagon preparing to counter an aerial attack.

If the trapped troop survives, IVascus will show the banana to the Piltogg monkey. Once he has it's attention, IVascus will shove the banana into the mouth of the trapped Vladtroop and prepare to counter an attack from the troop on top of the wagon.

In any case, he will exclaim "lol noob"
Last edited by Almighty Benny on Tue Aug 04, 2009 12:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby MasterEcabob » Sun Aug 02, 2009 11:48 am

Stalin will pick up the boulder and walk over to the disrupted troop, then smash the troop with the boulder repeatedly, reducing him to pieces of bloody dirt.
jifel wrote:"Any fool can make something bigger and more dangerous, but it takes an intelligent man to do the opposite."

As if we care. More explosives!
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Postby benkim123 » Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:10 pm

Stalin will shake the wagon until the vladtron troop falls down. Then he will sit on him.
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Postby Warhead » Sun Aug 02, 2009 1:56 pm

IVascus silently bleeds to death after receiving an axe in the face. If he were able he would be annoyed but perhaps being dead isn't so bad since it no longer concerns him... *sigh!* :( Stupid Monty Python lied about the fish slapping. I should have shot the Valdtroop with the banana, d'uh!
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Postby Moronstudios » Sun Aug 02, 2009 2:02 pm

Stalin will use the power of Contractual Immortality to get back up. He will then pick up the Vladtroop and slam him head down into the ground.
He will then rip off the door and beat the everlovingshit out of the second Vladtroop.
Last edited by Moronstudios on Sun Aug 02, 2009 2:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Tzan » Sun Aug 02, 2009 2:02 pm

While blinded IVascus thinks things must be going very well!
I can hear a wagon wheel being ripped from the cart despite our need to capture it. Then a large boulder crashes into something and armor is pierced and death screams like a little girl. Awesome!

Drop the fish and apple to clean the fish guts off my visor.

IVascus says: "Oh crap!"

Draw sword and shield.
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Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:58 pm

benkim123 wrote:IVascus will jump on the tree and cut it down. The tree will fall down near the horse. The horse will be scared and it will start sprinting. The Vladron soldier who is next to the cart will be squidhed and the other one will fall down because he will be surprised and he has no place to hang on like Bonn-o-Tron.


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IVascus leaps into the tree with a flourish and whacks it with his sword. Clang! 9 damage to 9 armor means the tree is unharmed.
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Postby Rayhawk » Sun Aug 02, 2009 7:06 pm

muffinman42 wrote:stalin throws the barrel off the battle field so he can use his hands to try to strangle a vladtron, the barrel hits a dungan on the head makeing it angry, it gets it's tribe ready to attack along with a group of dimmies, they then charge into the battle field!


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Stalin tosses the barrel off the right side of the battlefield and rushes up to choke the Vladtroop. Making a double-strength Push attack against the Vladtroop's throat, Santis causes 4 points of Smash damage by crushing him against the wagon wall. 4 points against 4 armor is not quite enough to kill the Vladtroop - but then his head catches on fire from the torch. Dead!

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The roof trooper fires the catapult at IVascus's tree, and for the first time ever, hits his target!

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The relatively weak explosion is not enough to kill IVascus but it does blow up his tree and his horse's face. IVascus's acrobatic skills mean he has no trouble maintaining his balance as the treetop flips about.

END OF TURN SUMMARY, BENKIM123 AND MUFFINMAN42:
The jellybeans are down one horse and one tree, but they're up one flaming Vladtrooper corpse. Ready for Turn 2 orders!
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