Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse: Gaiden - Turn 3

They're all the rage

Moderators: BrickSyd, Kommander Ken, Duerer, Elmagnifico

Post Reply
User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
Posts: 870
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA
Contact:

Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse: Gaiden - Turn 3

Post by Rayhawk » Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:21 pm

Just to maintain my own sanity, here's the recap of events so far. First off, the victories:
  • WARHEAD (deceased) AND ARKBRIK: VICTORY
    Warhead attempted the fishslap maneuver and took an axe in the face for his trouble; meanwhile Arkbrik converted an enemy to his side through the power of communist oratory. The remaining Vladdie, enraged, blew up himself and his catapult.
    • ASSETS LOST: Sir IVascus (Warhead), Catapult
      ASSETS GAINED: Wagon, Ex-Vlad Comrade
    ALMIGHTY BENNY AND PILTOGG (deceased): VICTORY
    Piltogg discovers a monkey, then destroys the wagon and drops a chunk of it on the Vladdie who kills him. Almighty Benny fishslaps a horse, and then tramples and aerial sword-drops the trapped and helpless victim. Piltogg the Monkey throws poo into a Vladdie's face, causing him to shoot himself with his own catapult.
    • ASSETS LOST: Sir Stalin (Piltogg), wagon, catapult
      ASSETS GAINED: Monkey
      EPILOGUE: Piltogg the Monkey steals the wizard's hat and magic wand before Almighty Benny can get them, and uses them to turn Sir Stalin's corpse into a horrible Frankenstein monster of burnt wizard parts, spare monkey brains, and transfused Vladtroop blood. Almighty Benny cruelly forces the Vladtron horse to continue dragging the wagon despite its busted-ass state, while his own horse stands around laughing.
    LEPRECHAUN AND LTOBVIOUS: VICTORY
    Leprechaun plants a barrel on the rooftop troop's head, disorienting him so he falls into his horse's butt and drops his axe. Ltobvious is distracted and gets his lunch jacked by the Vladtron horse, and then dropkicks the barrelhead troop into submission. Leprechaun rips out one of the catapult railings and throws it into a tree, which falls over and pins the remaining Vladtron.
    • ASSETS LOST: None!
      ASSETS GAINED: Two helpless Vladtron prisoners
      EPILOGUE: When Dogdu and Rayho show up, they agree that the best use of the pinned Vladtroop is for Stalin to elbow-drop him into oblivion. He does, and it's so awesome that if I posted a photo of it you would say "Damn! That's awesome!" After seeing his buddy splattered like a meat-filled water balloon, Dogdu is able to intimidate the remaining Vladtron into getting them through Vladtron's security checkpoints on the way to Vladtron's Dark Fortress.
    IVHORSEMAN AND MASTERECABOB: VICTORY
    IVhorseman goes banana surfing before flipping out and decapitating the Vladdie on the roof. The dead Vladdie goes into the catapult; the banana peel lands under the Vladdie on the ground. MasterEcabob fails to throw a boulder at the ground troop, who then slips on the banana peel before being smashed by his dead buddy, launched out of the catapult. MasterEcabob then takes great joy in using his boulder to smash the helpless victim into a fine pudding.
    • ASSETS LOST: None!
      ASSETS GAINED: Wagon
      EPILOGUE: IVascus is TOTALLY PUMPED by their victory, and opens up the back of the cart to scream at the dead wizard inside. "AAAAAAAA"
    SILENT-SIGFIG AND WARHEAD: VICTORY
    Silent-Sigfig kills the Vladtron horse with the Iron Kurtain Rod, then pulls a Crazy Ivan to annihilate the ground troop with the Communist Manifesto. The trooper on the roof manages to burn himself up, so there's nothing left for Warhead to do but throw his banana at some blood and declare victory.
    • ASSETS LOST: Vladtron horse
      ASSETS GAINED: Wagon
      EPILOGUE: IVascus hooks up his horse to the wagon and it's good as new. Hopefully no one notices it's the wrong color.
    booty bothered AND MORONSTUDIOS (deceased): VICTORY
    Moronstudios attempts the fishslap maneuver that killed his predecessor Warhead, and meets the same fate. booty bothered delivers a keg to an unexpectedly appreciative vladtroop; then she flips out and kills everyone. One of the corpses lands axe-first in Moronstudios' crotch.
    • ASSETS LOST: Sir IVascus (Moronstudios)
      ASSETS GAINED: Wagon
      EPILOGUE: IVascus's horse scores with the Vladtron horse.

User avatar
Rayhawk
Overlord
Posts: 870
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:02 pm
Location: BrikWars HQ, USA
Contact:

Post by Rayhawk » Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:22 pm

And now, the battles still in progress:
  • THEBLACKDOG AND LORDOFBRICKS: IN PROGRESS
    Lordofbricks tips the wagon over, causing the Vladdies to scramble. Theblackdog drops his banana, making his horse slip and fall; he backflips over the fallen wagon to decapitate a chump in an awesome move. Theblackdog grabs the fallen troop's halberd and accidentally catapults it into Theblackdog's face.
    • ASSETS LOST SO FAR: Proper wagon orientation
    MORONSTUDIOS (deceased) AND TZAN: IN PROGRESS
    Moronstudios falls over yanking a wagon wheel too hard; this inspires the rooftop troop to completely annihilate him with an aerial axe attack. Tzan blinds himself with fishguts, then clears his visor only to see the Vladdies looting the corpse.
    • ASSETS LOST SO FAR: Sir Stalin (Moronstudios)
    BENKIM123 AND MUFFINMAN42 (deceased): IN PROGRESS
    Muffinman42 chokes a bitch and sets him on fire, then tries to throw the burnt corpse at the troop on the roof. This goes badly, and Muffinman42 is crushed and burned to death by his own projctile. Meanwhile, Benkim123 climbs a tree and fails to cut off a branch; the tree (and his horse's face) are then exploded by catapult fire. He tries to set up a prank date for the Vladtron, to distract him; unfortunately he summons Hagbeard instead and has to endure a socially awkward moment.
    • ASSETS LOST SO FAR: Sir Stalin (Muffinman42), IVascus's horse, any hope of dignity
    ELMAGNIFICO (deceased) AND PSYBERIANHUSKY: IN PROGRESS
    Elmagnifico farts explosively, startling the horses and disrupting the Vladdies. This causes both horses to trample him into paste, a condition from which he is unable to recover; his own horse is knocked off the battlefield Team Rocket style. Psyberianhusky barrel-fists some dudes, killing one; he hits the other with a door.
    • ASSETS LOST SO FAR: Sir IVascus (Elmagnifico), IVascus's horse

User avatar
piltogg
Clown-Face Bologna
Clown-Face Bologna
Posts: 2024
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:16 pm
Location: Fictional Deutschland
Contact:

Post by piltogg » Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:56 pm

victory is a pleasent feeling.

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Post by stubby » Tue Sep 08, 2009 12:44 am

benkim123 wrote:IVascus throws every food he has to the Vladtron troop and yells `Fetch!`. If the hairy man can't resist a guy who is wearing rainbow armor then he wont resist a guy with food all over his armor, right? what Im trying to say is the hairy man eats the vladtron troop.
  • Image
IVascus feels sorry that Hagbeard came all the way out for nothing, and offers to make him some dinner. He tries to yell "Fetch," but it comes out sounding like "Fetish!"
  • Image
Barely making his Trickster Feat roll, IVascus manages the difficult feat of distracting Hagbeard from eating the Horse Flambe or Seared Stalin au Vladtron, with the hint of some unspecified fruit fetish.
  • Image
The fruit-spattered Vladdie is not pleased to see Hagbeard using a Sprint die to reach him as fast as possible.
  • Image
The Vladtroop wants NO PART OF THIS. He jumps into the catapult and gets the hell out of Dodge!
  • Image
As usual, he fails the difficult catapult roll and misses IVascus, landing Disrupted nearby.

END OF TURN SUMMARY, BENKIM123 AND MUFFINMAN42 (deceased):
Stalin is still dead, and things just continue to get weirder. Ready for turn 4 orders!

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Post by stubby » Tue Sep 08, 2009 12:52 am

lrdofbricks wrote:orders turn 3: break off the catupult and use it as a club to smash the surviver to bits.
  • Image
Stalin makes a Feat of Strength, tearing the catapult from its hinge, turning it into a Size 3 Melee Weapon.
  • Image
Wham!
Theblackdog wrote:Turn 3 orders: after Stalin finishes beating up the trooper, either stab him or mutilate his corpse. Then feed the apple to the horse to revive it.
  • Image
There's not much left to stab or mutilate, so IVascus spends a thoughtful moment desecrating the corpse.

END OF TURN SUMMARY, LRDOFBRICKS AND THEBLACKDOG:
The Vladtroops are defeated and their remains have been treated with the proper respect. The wagon and both horses are just fine once Stalin uses his strength to lift them right-side-up again; the only damage is to the catapult. Victory!

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Post by stubby » Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:12 am

Moronstudios wrote:Stalin will use the power of Contractual Immortality to get back up.
  • Image
As the Vladtroop puts on the final piece of Stalin's armor, a strange transformation begins to occur! The rainbow magic of the armor is trying to take over his body and transform him into a new Stalin, Agent-Smith-style!
  • Image
But the Heroic Feat roll is a failure, and the Vladtroop successfully resists! What's worse, as a result he now gets all of Sir Stalin's former powers, and becomes Baron Khrushchev!
Tzan wrote:Turn 3
IVascus :
Ride swiftly toward the trooper nearest

The trooper shouts "No don't try it"

IVascus "Haha! but I have the high ground this time"

Before entering the trooper's weapon range, leap high into the air and over the trooper and his weapon, [thus avoiding getting my "junk cut right the fuck off" like Anakin did].

Land just behind him.

The horse should keep him distracted a bit as it probably bumped into him.

I attack him from the rear.
  • Image
IVascus has got his work cut out for him now! But after a late start, he decides to spring into action! He guns the engine on his horse and spurs it forward, somersaulting through the air He-man style before the Vladtroop can attack. His acrobatik skill allows him to land neatly in position for a devastating attack from behind.
  • Image
Forced to choose between dealing with a charging horse in front and a sword from behind, the soldier elects to Bail.
  • Image
IVascus's horse continues charging forward, hitting IVascus with four inches of KnockBack.
  • Image
IVascus hasn't used any Feats this turn, so his acrobatix are still in effect; he lands nimbly on his feet as the Horse reaches the end of its movement.
  • Image
The orders say "attack him from the rear," and by koincidence, IVascus has landed in perfect position to do so. Unfortunately he crit-fails the roll and the opportunity is lost.
  • Image
Baron Krushchev counterattacks! IVascus blocks with the shield, but only for a measly one point of damage. Krushchev already used his Feat (in a manner of speaking), so he doesn't get his usual double damage bonus - but a Bonus Die gives him a damage total of ten to IVascus's total armor of five.
  • Image
IVascus goes down!

END OF TURN SUMMARY, MORONSTUDIOS AND TZAN:
The forces of Vladtron have a new hero tonight! Thanks to the heroes' dice being cursed on every single roll, Baron Krushchev has eliminated the Rainbow threat to his little red wagon. DEFEAT!

User avatar
stubby
tl;dr: the rule of fudge is the entire rulebook
Posts: 5201
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 8:31 pm

Post by stubby » Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:17 am

PsyberianHusky wrote:Turn 3 orders: Forget using the door, and have Stalin equip his sword to cut the final Vlad in half.
  • Image
Stalin is no longer fucking around. The Vladtron is not sure whether he is serious.
  • Image
The Vladtroop fails his futile attempt to parry with the axe. Oh yeah, he's serious.

END OF TURN SUMMARY, ELMAGNIFICO AND PSYBERIANHUSKY:
IVascus is still paste, and the wagon is now missing a door, but once Stalin gets serious, it's game over for the Vladtron forces. Victory!

User avatar
lrdofbricks
Jaw-Jaw
Posts: 849
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:35 am
Location: delaWhere?

Post by lrdofbricks » Tue Sep 08, 2009 5:15 am

wow, id never thought id see the day when two heros lost to two minifigs.
Image
LEGION- fear it
the 100000 post- by me
"manliness= X(warhead+piltog)^2/James+burgandy"

User avatar
Tzan
Has anyone ever used those holes before?
Has anyone ever used those holes before?
Posts: 4799
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:41 pm
Location: Boston

Post by Tzan » Tue Sep 08, 2009 10:35 am

Wow we crit failed every roll :shock:

Just goes to show you, if you make enough universes you'll have every possibility occur.

Good Spock, Evil Spock, Always Rolls a Crit Fail Spock.

User avatar
Moronstudios
Mega Blok
Posts: 1315
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 12:50 pm
Location: Vancouver Island
Contact:

Post by Moronstudios » Tue Sep 08, 2009 2:22 pm

...damnit...
Looking for Vancouver Island players: http://www.brikwars.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1194

User avatar
Theblackdog
Pooplord
Posts: 2689
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:30 pm
Contact:

Post by Theblackdog » Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:19 pm

Well, that picture wasn't disturbing at all...

still, YAY! great game!
Image

User avatar
Warhead
kaka pants
Posts: 7299
Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:07 pm
Location: I'm Momnipresent.

Post by Warhead » Tue Sep 08, 2009 4:03 pm

  • Image
Hot-Dog! :D
Image

User avatar
benkim123
Dimmy
Posts: 696
Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:19 am
Location: Inside a Hammerhead Gunship

Post by benkim123 » Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:11 am

"Finish him!" Mortal Kombat style.
Image

Post Reply