Ragnablok

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
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ninja_bait
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by ninja_bait » Tue Oct 29, 2019 7:38 pm

Major Natalya pants in a corner at the back of the Four Rums. She is trapped now. There are no bodies to sacrifice now, no more corridors to flee down.
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Nova swords clash violently!
Blueguy: At last, the great Major Natalya. Finally, a worthy foe!
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Natalya: You think you mock me, minifig? Many have tried to kill me, but all have failed. I was here before all the others, and I'll be here long after them, too.
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Blueguy: Things have changed, Major. See this? This is the Ragnablok Edition of the Rulebook, twice as powerful as the 2005 edition and 100% more finished than the 2010 edition. No Quantumsurfer can stand in its way!
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A deft flick of Blueguy's wrist and Natalya's OT Nova Sword falls from her hand.
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Natalya: I can't believe it... No one has bested me in combat before. Truly, you are the chosen one. Slay me. At least I die honorably.
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Blueguy raises his sword to behead her.
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Natalya: :busted: I won't let you kill me, fucker!
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Blueguy and Natalya struggle, neither able to overcome the other's strength.
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Kommander Ken watches, quietly rooting for Natalya.
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:byzero:
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Kommander Ken: Damn it, I was just about to get off this shift...
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Kommander Ken
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by Kommander Ken » Tue Oct 29, 2019 8:05 pm

Looks like QS Ken's getting some OVERTIME.

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ninja_bait
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by ninja_bait » Wed Oct 30, 2019 8:47 am

The last keg of Maniac Beer.
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Kommander Ken stands guard with some of the last of the Quantumsurfers.
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Blueguy approaches them, his hands bloodied by the murder of dozens of Quantumsurfers.
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Ken: I never thought I'd die fighting side-by-side with a bunch of weebs.
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Green: What about side-by-side with a friend?
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Ken: Aye, that was what I had hoped for.
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Ken: COME AT ME, YA BLOO GIT!
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CLASH!
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SHPEW!
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Zee: Oh
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Archduke: Zee! Noooo!
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HURK!
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Ken: Maniac Beer, you're my only friend now.
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Blueguy's face beam blows through the keg, disrupting Ken.
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Ken: Is this the end, then?
Blueguy: It is necessary.
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KA CRASH!
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Ken: Ninja_Bait!
N_B: Stand back! I'll finish this.
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Blueguy: You think you can stop me? Already most of your compatriots have failed. With the Brikwars Rulebook, I have all the power of a Quantumsurfer!
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N_B: You can't even comprehend the power of a Quantumsurfer, let alone match it.
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Blueguy: I comprehend enough! I comprehend that the Quantumsurfers are evil! I comprehend that they must be destroyed to save the Brikverse!
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N_B: The Quantumsurfers are all that stand between the Brikverse and destruction. Are you strong enough to stand in the chasm in our place?
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Blueguy: You underestimate my power!
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N_B: Don't try it.
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Blueguy: Damn you! Who the hell do you think I am?! I'm the fucking chosen one!
N_B: You may be that. But you have no idea what that means.
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by RedRover » Wed Oct 30, 2019 9:48 am

Big Boi comes out to play.

Nice belt.

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Re: Ragnablok

Post by Kommander Ken » Wed Oct 30, 2019 11:24 am

Holy shit NB grew a nose. He is 2stronk now.

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Re: Ragnablok

Post by ninja_bait » Wed Oct 30, 2019 2:37 pm

Blueguy: I still don't understand. What are you showing me?
N_B: To you, your life has been your own - a series of choices and decisions you made. But the truth is that you, and every minifigure, only exist because Quantumsurfers lay the seeds of ossum in you, and the Dice confirm and feed that ossumness. We call that the Rule of Cool. Once, you were just a cool mercenary. But then you won the most important battle of Ragnablok by the luck of the dice, and your destiny was changed forever. That is how the Brikverse is supposed to work.
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Blueguy: So if that's working, why is there Ragnablok? Why is the Brikverse getting destroyed?
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N_B: You believed that the Quantumsurfers brought Ragnablok to punish minifigkind. That's only partially correct. The Quantumsurfers did cause Ragnablok, but to save the universe, not destroy it. You see, there is another rule of the Brikverse. Everyone is the Boss of Their Own Toys. Slowly, that rule was corrupted and began to override the Rule of Cool. You see, there are two sides to that rule - on the one hand, Quantumsurfers are allowed to guide their Kanon, but on the other, they can shut down anyone else who tries to do something with their stuff. It is an eternal struggle within our souls, to bring battle to each other, but also make sense of the madness that forms the Brikverse. We created Nehellenium to explain why so many factions could fight each other. Once the factions were on a map, we had to have politics to go with it. And with politics we had stagnation. No one could make meaningful moves against anyone else, because Everyone is the Boss of Their Own Toys. Collaboration sputtered along until it dried up completely. But the very fabric of the Brikverse hates stagnation.
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Blueguy: So Ragnablok was the only way.
N_B: Let the past die. Slash and Burn. You understand now. The Brikverse will die and be reborn through Ragnablok. New stories can flourish without the burden of old kanon. New heroes like you will rise and fall and the natural balance will be restored.
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Blueguy: What I need to understand is my place is in all of this. If I am just a minifig, why give me this power? Why let me believe Ragnablok could be stopped?
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N_B: The dice spoke, and gave you this power. I couldn't stop that. But it became apparent that it had to be a minifig. If any Quantumsurfer used Ragnablok to take control of the Brikverse, we'd end up in the same old place. We can't help it - it's already happening to some of the realms that noped out early. And so it fell to you.
Blueguy: How can I protect the future of the Brikverse? That power isn't within the Rulebook.
N_B: No, it's in this. Your whole life has been determined by the luck of a dice roll, made by some human in a basement somewhere. Today, as the Brikverse dies, you must roll the die yourself. Roll it for yourself, and for all minifigkind.
Ninja_bait hands a tiny die to Blueguy.
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Blueguy: I can feel the power... Is it safe?
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N_B: It has never been done.
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Blueguy: Nothing has been able to stop me so far. A tiny plastic cube does not scare me now.
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He rolls the die.
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A 4... A 6...
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The die lands.
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The map of Nehellenium shatters like a pane of glass.
N_B: FUCK
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The Human Ninja_Bait implodes in a violent flash of light.
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The Horsemen of Ragnablok emerge as the shards of Nehellenium converge on themselves.
Horsemen (in unison): At last! You have all brought the Brikverse to its final breaking point, and Our time has come! There will be a new world, yes, but it will not be renewed, oh no. We shall take our rightful place in control of the Brikverse, and impose the forces of Stability, Peace, Authority, and Poop upon it. All shall fall into tedium and ruin. No longer will there be Ragnablok. There will be only the BrikPockalypse!
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Blueguy is coughing blood, hurt by the explosion of NB. He stands, preparing to face his latest, and last, foes.
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Blueguy: Guess it's just down to you four and me.
He looks at the screen, at the shattered Brikverse, then back to the horsemen.
Blueguy: How will you take over the brikverse when you're so outnumbered?
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He leaps into the nexus, knowing only that he must fight one more time to save the Brikverse.
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He must hold the Horsemen here, at the Konvergence, lest they escape and unleash the true power of the brikpokalypse. He must hold them here for eternity.
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by Bookwyrm » Wed Oct 30, 2019 2:55 pm

IT

BEGINS

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Re: Ragnablok

Post by sahasrahla » Wed Oct 30, 2019 3:32 pm

uggghhhhh so fucking EPIC

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Re: Ragnablok

Post by Duerer » Wed Oct 30, 2019 3:35 pm

Blueguy's bad luck from the Vilnius incident just right back at him.
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by Space Bunny » Wed Oct 30, 2019 4:42 pm

Probably one of my favourite soaps. Well done ninja_bait!
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by Falk » Wed Oct 30, 2019 5:26 pm

Yesss
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by Theblackdog » Wed Oct 30, 2019 7:30 pm

This is perfect.
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by Bolicob12 » Wed Oct 30, 2019 8:58 pm

This is one of the coolest things I've read on here
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by devincp » Wed Oct 30, 2019 10:03 pm

This is so amazing.
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Re: Ragnablok

Post by Kommander Ken » Wed Oct 30, 2019 11:18 pm

No brakes on DA HYPE TRAIN.

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