Battle for the Boards Turn One

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Battle for the Boards Turn One

Postby Ross_Varn » Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:06 pm

There was a lot of instant killing in this turn. I should have expected it, but it went faster than I thought it would...

AND it looks like a lot of my pictures were blurred a bit. I need to work on that.

Turns are in order of when I received them. If you didn't sign up, then I didn't use your orders. Sorry mates, I didn't want to get too overwhelmed here! Secret Faction Leaders, your boys are coming in next turn.

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Spartan kicks off the battle by throwing the TV at Ahp for no damage.

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Darth then shoots with no effect at Warhead.

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I decide to pick on Arkbrik first, resulting in-
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First blood.
ARKBRIK ELIMINATED

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Muffin drops his stuff and heads for the cannon, picking it up and attempting to fire it. Unfortunately, it ended up like this.
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That's why you don't play with cannons, kids!
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MUFFINMAN ELIMINATED

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Shadowscythe jumps up and slices easily through Oneeye's neck. His reaction misses as he dies.
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ONEEYE ELIMINATED

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Apolloyn shifts the table a bit, knocking over the lamp, then runs off towards the Dimmie section.
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The Black Dog pokes Badger through the grating. "OY!" A short scuffle later, Badger is down for the count. Black Dog then runs off towards the barrel by Bricks.
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BADGER ELIMINATED

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Legacy attacks Pesgores. The Poo-on-a-Stick proves to be inefficient as he is cut down.
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PESGORES ELIMINATED

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Warhead closes on Darth for an easy kill...
*blinks*
Wait, what? That can't be right.
Huh.
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Darth actually makes a heroic effort to defend himself and succeeds in slaying Warhead. Great, now both of them are going to be mad at me...
WARHEAD ELIMINATED

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Sigfig Stubby threatens my camera unless I make him winner of the battle. I snort and he laughs crazily, waiting for someone to attack him.

Kiemaster disassembles his sword and leans over, inserting the key into the ground.
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It creates a portal.
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Kiemaster teles out over by the Dimmies.
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Elmagnifico fires on the beer jug sitting by Piltogg. It blows up explosively.
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Piltogg is knocked away harmlessly by the blast.

Aoffan jumps up on the Bricks table, knocking a ship off, and swings his axe-handle...
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Success!
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FREDDE ELIMINATED
OLOTHONOR ELIMINATED

Piltogg, enraged, picks up the last glass that has any beer left in it and charges Elmagnifico with it. "DRINK IT!!!"
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Elmagnifico slams him against the overturned table in response, knocking the wind from Piltogg.
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Ragriz attempts to rush Spartan, but is knocked backwards by Spartan's reflexes.
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Adrian, Magic Soap, and Tuefish all shoot at each other with no damage.
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Coximind takes up a position and misses Elmagnifico.

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Tathing attempts to kill Aoffyon with his superior range, but slices the ground as Aoffyon angrily closes the gap. Then he got in range...
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TATHING ELIMINATED

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Blitzen and J+B exchange volleys.

Since Silent_Sigfig and Natalya hadn't posted orders before I finished with the NPCs, I moved them now. Sorry mates, but I'm not waiting around. You are still in charge of your sig.
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Silent's gun backfires. No damage.

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Natalya fires her BFG. The round bounces off of Black Dog's shield, since he anticipated this.

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LrdofBricks decides to claim the hill.

Overview Pics:
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Battle Report wrote:ALIVE:
Ross_Varn, Stubby, Aph77, J+B, Magic Soap, Spartan, Shadowscythe, DarthBrik, NatalyaAF, Silent_Sigfig, TheBlackDog, Blitzen, LrdorBricks, Coximind, Tuefish, Piltogg, Aoffan, Kiemaster, Ragriz, AdriantheGeek, Apollyon, LegacyMedia.
DEAD:
Warhead (owch), Tathing, OneEye, Pesgores, Olothonor, Badger, Arkbrik, Fredde, Muffinman.


Also. Stubby, if you mess with this main post, I'm deleting your sigfig's banhammer. Just saying. :D

Post orders for Turn Two.

Secret Factions, you all come in next turn, PM me orders.
Last edited by Ross_Varn on Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby aoffan23 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:20 pm

HUZZAH!!! :D

That's for not giving me my angry inch Olothontor! :wink:

EDIT: Oops, forgot my orders. I bring my axe handle up over my head, and jump at Blackdog, bringing my blade down upon his skull at full force. K-SHUNK! I then aim my gun barrel, axe still in Blackdog, and fire at Shadowscythe. BANG!
Last edited by aoffan23 on Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Tzan wrote:
Quantumsurfer wrote:I generally agree with Tzan
Warhead wrote:I agree with QuantumSmurfer.



I agree with Warhead.
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Postby lrdofbricks » Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:25 pm

damn straight i claim the hill. whoever controls me better keep it that way
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LEGION- fear it
the 100000 post- by me
"manliness= X(warhead+piltog)^2/James+burgandy"
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Postby Elmagnifico » Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:27 pm

I grab Piltogg in a headlock and blow his head off at point blank range.
READTHEFORUMCODE!!!
Varsaavius wrote:As the size of the explosion increases, the amount of social situations it can't resolve approaches zero.
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Postby spartan117 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:50 pm

im going to dive for my gun,crouch then spin around and fire at ragriz
<img src="http://oi54.tinypic.com/9vdvd4.jpg">
TROLOLO
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Postby muffinman42 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:04 pm

Ahh i died, ah well, at least i took some of the field with me :twisted:
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Postby stubby » Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:39 pm

He SHOT the BEER?

HE SHOT THE BEER???

Never have I witnessed a more banhammerable offense. Stubby does a flying aerial leap or charges or whatever action connects his banhammer with Elmagnifico the fastest. If this succeeds, he then tries to rescue whatever remains of the beer.
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Postby Silent-sigfig » Thu Feb 18, 2010 10:35 pm

Sacrifice the guy in front of me to my heathen god.

Or, if that fails to work, light myself on fire in protest.
BFenix wrote:
Silent-sigfig wrote: :dog:

Coolest 1000th post ever :D
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Postby MasterEcabob » Thu Feb 18, 2010 10:43 pm

My troops have spoken; battle is now soon met.
jifel wrote:"Any fool can make something bigger and more dangerous, but it takes an intelligent man to do the opposite."

As if we care. More explosives!
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Postby DarthBrik » Thu Feb 18, 2010 10:44 pm

I run over and attack Coximind with my amazing JaGeX bronze sword.
-DarthBrik
-Defcon, Coperal
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Postby Warhead » Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:40 am

Turn fuckin' one! *Grumble* :? AND you allowed them to shoot the beer!!!

Contract signed in blood and forwarded to the Daemon Dimensions to have one Ross_Varn's soul mercilessly and brutally buttraped with fiery pokers for all eternity. While listening to Rick Astley records. With nothing but J+B's writings to keep you sane.

EDIT:

@DarthBrik: Well played sir, good show. You jammy git! :lol:
Last edited by Warhead on Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby The Shadowscythe » Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:54 am

I can only presume I'm next to Affoan23 (as the other minifig is natalyaAF) So using the table to add height to my advantage - jump off the table, and as I'm coming down - swing around 360 degrees, and try and take BOTH their heads off! =P
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-- WARNINK -- LINK BELOW IZ KNOWN TO CAUZE HEMMORAGE --
Spoiler: show
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I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I WARN YOU?! BLAME RAYHAWK DAMNIT.
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Postby Apollyon » Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:58 am

In an heroic effort i grab James+Burgundy by the ankle and hurl him towards the remnants of Warhead because:

the wiki wrote:James+burgundy is particularly dangerous when placed in proximity to incendiary devices such as Warhead.


Blitzen will gladly step aside to enjoy the sight.
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Postby Theblackdog » Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:52 am

If I'm still alive after Shadowscythe's attack, I kill him with my spear. If that fails, I back up and ready my shield to deflect his attack.
Just one random act of violence can brighten your day. Especially if it involves explosives.
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Postby Magic Soap » Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:32 am

Frisbee the shield in a wide arc to decapitate as many enemies as possible, then roll for cover.
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