WJEUT: Spring's End Shareholder Report.

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WJEUT: Spring's End Shareholder Report.

Postby Ogel96 » Wed Jun 02, 2010 11:03 pm

Incoming transmission to Immortal empire:
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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Board. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Walter Jacobi Ego, Current President of the WJEUT board, of which you have spent so much time and money in.
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Today, we will be displaying the accomplishments of the Spring Quarter. May I present to you, The Heads of Departments.
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[Axeman, Ninjus, Baron Von Hammer, Shrapnel, Araglien, 11L8Omega, And Ogel Fariday.]
First Is Mr. Wu Ninjus with the security and intelligence departments.
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It's been a good quarter, with the security department putting in record numbers. The Intel department has provided the location of an essential Piltogg Base, and we have already destroyed it. Recently, both departments worked together to stop a raid on our area by Nega Blokians, their captured leader is with us today, in the hands of a shark guard and one of our best performing intelligence officers.
:Next, Mr. Araglien will show the achievements of sales.
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Hello. The quarter has gone well for the average trust sales team, pictured here.
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Our efforts in using shock and demonstration techniques have proved effective, as a picture our drone took, flying by a Clone legion base will show.
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We've had some great sales this quarter, and we expect them to continue.
:Now, Lord Axeman with the accounting department.
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My friends, I have some excellent news. I would like to present to you, our newest product...
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The Battle Accountant!
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He is armed with a dagger and a E-gun. But why the cape, ladies and gentlemen? Wouldn't it get in the way?
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No, For I present to you, the latest in the E-tech line, the E-cape! A miniature computer capable of being used in any situation!
[Accoutant: Cp:7 :armor 4 skill d6 move 6" ability: Battle plans: For every accountant at a computer, choose one attack. That attack succeeds or fails, depending on who is attacking.]
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Several different accountants are available, including a heavy model.
The heavy is armed with a mind pulsar cannon, one of the latest psyonic weapons from Jacobitech.
Now, the Great Shrapnel, Head of Transportation.
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Good..Verygood...wemakeatruck...
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itbigandblue...andholdlots...
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likeaccountants...
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orturrets...
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Hoorayforscarytruck!
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wealsomakeflyflyship!
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itgothroughspace!
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Wealsolaunchaspacefleetyayforus!
:Now, Mr. Fariday, Our new head of R&D
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Hello people of the board. As I'm new here, I'd like to show you most of the new facilities I've set up.
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This is one of our best new facilities, The Iceberg. It is the base facility for the new genisis project i've been heading. we have removed several iconic people from nearby systems to see psychological results, and to test on like Bonn-o-Tron.
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For your own safety, the camera will not go any further.
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Oh, maybe a little peek.
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On a sadder note, a recent attack on the Iceberg Facility has freed this creature. He is known as Del Shamroth, and is the Demon Lord of this Sector of the galaxy
(Screams)
I see some of the shareholders have dealt with him before. However, one person in the picture has been identified as Jom-Bagrundy, leader of the Trolls. We are investigating at this moment, and have recently picked up a lead that he may have started leading our enemies, the Free Enterprises.
:Now, 11L8Omega, Head of robotics.
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Hello Shareholders. It Is An Honor To Talk To You Today.
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There Have Been Many Innovations Recently in Our Robotic Tech, Seen Here With The New WalterRobotics Offensive Security Squad.
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Rising Sun On New Juggernaut Robotic Tank.
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Front View. There Is A Hidden Gun In His Mouth.
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Main Guns And Jughead Missile (MK?)
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Side View.
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Claw445 Security Officer. Extremely Effective.
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The Du0 Model Science Officer. Mr. Fariday's Design. Ingenious, and Deadly. Blade Fingers. Guns. Twice Normal Engines.
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Back Blades/Aerodynamic Boosters.
: Lastly, Baron Von Hammer with the PR
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Hello. It's been very good for us, as the enemy group has partially split and some have merged with us. We have allied with the Immortal Empire, who have bought large shares in our companies. The Emperor is watching this conference from his throne room. Lastly, the accidental freeing of the demon Del Shamroth will work out well for us, as we can spread our products farther in response to his swathe of destruction.
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Thank you for your time, Ladies and Gentlemen. This concludes the Report.
My doctor says I have an obsession with vengance. We'll just see about that
My 550th post was "JANE-FREAKIN-GOODALL".
I called the Ghostbusters in my 600th post.
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Postby Warhead » Thu Jun 03, 2010 2:38 am

In point of fact ladies and gentlemen of the board this footage is being skryed by myself, The Lord Warhead and I thank you all for your continuing hard work in these matters. Rest assured a copy of this footage and encrypted data will be passed on, not only to our R+D departments but to the Emperor himself and I have no doubts he will be most pleased by your efforts in this alliance.

However, one small matter of concern. We have fought in many wars in our past and one recurring thorn in our side has been the dread Professor Sharkhead... It would greatly please us if you could assist us in a matter of utmost importance by detaining that Sharkguard fellow for Interrogation, a Terrokhan Death Squad under the command of our head of Psi-Intel (Brikverse Region - of the Immortal Elite) Commander CoolEyes has been dispatched and shall be with you shortly If every assistance could be given to her in this matter it would be considered a great courtesy that would honour the Emperor himself and would ensure my personal appreciation. Obviously reparations shall be made for the loss of your subject.
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Motherfucker!
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Postby Ogel96 » Thu Jun 03, 2010 9:35 am

We would comply, but this is now impossible. For some reason, all our sharkmen have suddenly gone traitor. This one was killed trying to free prisoners. We believe a mind control spell was utilized by Del, who used sharkmen as captains often.
My doctor says I have an obsession with vengance. We'll just see about that
My 550th post was "JANE-FREAKIN-GOODALL".
I called the Ghostbusters in my 600th post.
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Postby Bragallot » Thu Jun 03, 2010 10:28 am

Dang, there goes Warhead's attempt at breaking an alliance. There's just too many pansies siding with the Immortals! :twisted: (though they'll probably turn out to be right in the end)
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Bragallot wrote:
lawmaster wrote:Kill the guy I'm in cc with.
He's already dead.
Kill him again.
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Postby Warhead » Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:41 am

Damn! I sense Professor Sharks shadowy grey hand in this affair. No matter, when Commander CoolEyes arrives she can perform a full Psi-investigation and we shall soon see how far this foiled plot extends through out your operation.
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Postby stubby » Thu Jun 03, 2010 4:54 pm

Bragallot wrote:Dang, there goes Warhead's attempt at breaking an alliance. There's just too many pansies siding with the Immortals! :twisted: (though they'll probably turn out to be right in the end)

Have I ever posted my Inevitable Betrayal rules here? Alliances are a lot more exciting if you incentivize backstabbing:

If there's an alliance in the game, then at the beginning of each turn of every player in the alliance, add one brick to the alliance's Unmighty Penny pool. These Pennies may be claimed by the first player or group of players who betrays the alliance; for the first turn they may each then be used like +1d6 Bennies against their former allies. Any Pennies left over at the end of that turn evaporate and are lost. The longer an alliance lasts, the larger the pile of Pennies gets, making the backstab more and more tempting.

If any teams are still allied after the betrayal, they start new piles of Pennies for each alliance.
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