Yellow Reenactors: Crazyhorse
Pwn Protectorate Infantry: benkim123 Temporarily: lawmaster
Pwn Protectorate Commandos: Moronstudios
Peach Militia: Silent-sgifig
Green Reenactors: Ogel96 Temporarily: newcowboy
Peach Reenactros: Piltogg
1: Cpt. Zipps
Civilians: Warhead Temporarily: heavyfishcannon
This battle will take place in the Pwn Protectorate, a confederation of multiple planets. Each planet contributes money to maintain a national military, and most of them have their own militias, as well.
The planet Meridian had never been a particularly important or interesting part of the Pwn Protectorate until December G.R. 2010. It was then that it was picked to be the new place for WW2 reenactments. Reenactors came from across the galaxy to Meridian, bringing lots of highly-realistic weapons and equipment with them. But they also brought the Peach Mutation with them, in addition to the related, and equally hated, Green Strain. The mutations spread like wildfire throughout the ranks of the reenactors and to the general populace.
However, due to swift action by the yellow reenactors, the vehicles remained in their hands. Knowing they would face prejudice, the mutants stuck together and began stockpiling weapons. Most of the infected Meridians organized themselves into a militia, but a few attempted to keep living their civilian lives, with little success.
As more and more people mutated, and their militancy became increasingly obvious, fear spread throughout the yellows, and they called upon the government for military support. However, the timing was terrible. Due to many of the army's vehicles being damaged by unknown saboteurs, they were in no condition for battle. It was eventually decided to not rebuild the old vehicles, because they were obsolete, and plans were being made for newer, better, ones. However, these will not be completed for some time. So only the infantry would be sent in, equipped with new weapons that were purchased from an enigmatic defense contractor on the planet Redmond. The remaining yellow WW2 reenactors were to provide armored support, for they had modified their vehicles to fire real shells in response to the Peach Militia constructing vehicles of their own.
Not all of my photos came out well, and I don't feel like retaking them. The pictures for Turn 1 will be better. Some teams are much larger than others, and I have no idea if this is balanced or not. But who cares?
THE YELLOW FORCES
Their objectives are:
1. Be awesome.
2. Exterminate all peach and green mutants.
3. Kill any other lowlives you encounter, for the lulz.
Team 1 - The Yellow WW2 Reenactors
The left and center British soldiers are armed with rifles (long-ranged weapons) and satchel charges, which can function either as thrown explosives or time bombs. The third British soldier is armed with a SMG (Use:3 Range: 8" Damage: 1d6+1) and a stick of dynamite (thrown explosive). US Army Sgt. Joe Harmon is a hero, and can perform the sorts of feats you might expect from A Real American Hero. He is armed with a rifle and a radio. The left German soldier is armed with a rifle and dynamite, and is disappointed that he must use such a crude weapon, despite having perfectly good grenades printed on him. The German on the right has a SMG and Dynamite.
The Panzer IVF2 has a size of 7, a structure level of 3, and a speed of 8. It is armed with a tank gun (Use:6 Range: 18" Damage: 3d10) and a hull-mounted Size-2 Machinegun.
The M18 Hellcat Tank Destroyer has a size of 6, a structure level of 2, and a speed of 10. It is armed with a tank gun and a machinegun.
The Wespe has a size of 6, a structure level of 2, and a speed of 8. It is armed with a howitzer (Use: 8 Range: 24" Damage: 3d10), which can fire at targets outside of it's line-of-sight, provided that they are within the LOS of another friendly unit with a radio, who spends his action directing fire. It also has a machinegun.
The Universal Carrier Has a size of 4, a structure level of 2, and a speed of 8. It is armed with a machinegun.
Team 2 - Pwn Protectorate Infantry
The two troops on the left of the top row have SMGs and smoke grenades, which can be thrown 4 inches, and produce a large cloud of smoke. The other 3 in the top row have rifles and electrobinoculars, which are just there to look cool. The troops in the bottom row have rifles and grenades. All Pwn Protectorate soldiers have radios in their helmets.
Team 3 - Pwn Protectorate Commandos
The first commando is armed with a rifle and a metal detector, which allows him to spend his action locating mines. The next one has a rifle and a high-tech subspace radio, with the standard attachments (a tool and a bayonet). The last one has a shotgun and an ORANGE TRANSPARENT CHAINSAW
(Use: 3 Damage: 2d6), the only one known to exist in the protectorate. Due to their extensive training, the commandos have a skill of 1d8. The Pwn Protectorate's hero is Kaptain Kickass, the baddest motherfucker to ever be in the Commando Division. He rides into battle on his own custom-built rocket bike (a steel hose with a speed of 10), and carries a rifle, and a subspace radio.
THE MUTANT FORCES
Their objective are:
1. Be awesome.
2. Destroy the attacking yellows.
3. Kill any civilians that get in your way. Or kill them just for fun.
Team 1 - The Peach Militia
The mustachioed peach on the left is a gunner, and operates the Militia's turret, which has a size of 4, a structure level of 2, and is armed with a size-3 laser cannon and 2 size-1 rockets. The other peaches in the top row have saws and rifles. The troops on the bottom row have rifles and radios. Their hero is Peach Solo, who can accomplish great feats, such as dodging blaster fire at point-blank range. He is armed with his trusty pistol.
The Peach Militia built two of these hovering attack vehicles. They have a size of 3, structure level of 2, and a speed of 10. They are armed with a pair of size-2 laser cannons and 2 1-inch rockets.
Team 2 - The Green WW2 Reenactors.
The troops in the top row are medics, and can heal fallen soldiers using the Ker-Triage! Table from the 2001 rules. They are armed with rifles. All of the soldiers in the middle row have rifles, and the two on the left have hatchets. In the bottom row, the two soldiers on the left have size-2 machineguns, which they can lug around at a 1 inch movement penalty. The two on the right have bazookas, with two rockets each, and pistols.
Team 3 - The Peach WW2 Reenactors.
In the top row, the soldier on the left has a SMG and a Panzerfaust, which is a one-use bazooka. The other two Germans have machineguns and grenades. In the bottom row is the German hero Lieutenant Diesel, who can perform blitzkrieg feats. He is armed with a SMG and a grenade. The two Soviet soldiers have SMGs and satchel charges.
There are also two secret factions.
I assembled a sizable battlefield, and packed it with plenty of civilians, who will be wandering around obliviously. Some of those civilians have pizzas. If you claim them, they are redeemable for one Almighty Benny. Any blue areas on the map can be crossed as if they were normal land. It's just blue grass.
With nothing on fire (yet
), the firefighters enjoy a pizza.
A couple can be seen going backpacking. A Dimmie is wandering the plains, looking for a good spot to settle down and eat his pizza.
In addition to the invasive Playmobil creatures, the forest is also home to an equally lost and hungry polar bear. A couple is trying to enjoy their pic-a-nic, but it's hard to eat while a filthy dungan is walking by with a giant turd.
Some juvenile delinquents are enjoying pot, pizza, and music in the park, while a woman plays with her cults nearby. A pair of dim-witted Worst-Lock CLOans are wandering by. They're wondering both how they got so lost, and why nothing is falling apart for no reason.
Most of the Greens are holed up behind a swampy hill, but some are out front, ready to exploit any opportunities that arise.
Meanwhile, in town, the Peach Militia scrambles to get good positions, having only just spotted the attacking forces. The pilots fire up their hover thingies and the gunner activates the turret.
The civilians, too absorbed in their own fascinating lives, pay them little mind. Veteran policeman Sgt. O'Leary is showing the overzealous new rookie the ins and outs of policing. Rappers Skittle and The Nefarious D-U-M-B prepare for a rap-off. A faint 'Mama mia!" is heard from the pizzeria in response to this. Across the street, a pair of sluts are going for a slutwalk. They catch the eye of Scottish football player Jim MacFinnegan. He thinks about what pickup line to use for a moment, and decides to go with his old standard. "So, do either of you have any children?
" A victim of the Green Mutation who decided to not take up arms works the only job he could get: being a street sweeper. It ain't easy being green. In the cape is a man who thinks he's a superhero, but really isn't. Lastly, Officer Betty is on patrol.
The WW2 Peaches are occupying the red building, which has an implied back wall.
While the construction workers dig, the foreman is watching, and drinking his coffee. A squidhead is studying the native fauna of the planet. He contemplates whether the frog he found in a puddle is tasty or not. Notorious outlaw Red-Handed Jed is out looking for trouble. Sanjay, however, isn't. He just likes carrying a giant scimitar. Don't we all?
The militia's defenses. A dimmie is making a pizza delivery to the Xtreme sports punks down the road, not to be confused with the other dimmie walking down the street.
The Xtreme sports punks prepare to film an Xtreme stunt. XTREME!!!
If they had been looking the other way, though, they would have seen how Xtreme things were about to get!
For sound effects, listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsGet7trGOQ
For proper background music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SQVvfFTcEk
An army marches on its stomach, and its favorite food is fudge.