The two samurai at the front gate open the doors wide and run inside.  They are surprised to find the gunpowder cart blocking the entrance and have to squeeze sideways to get around it.  The spearmen on foot, who move less quickly than their mounted counterparts, are finally approaching the front gates.

The ronin spots the foot samurai climbing up the bamboo stalk and moves to intercept him.  He leaps from his horse, onto a bush, over the east parapet and through a window to end up upside-down directly beneath the bamboo stalk.  Focusing his Chi, he takes a powerful swing with his short naginata, slicing the bamboo stalk in half.  The foot samurai tumbles to the ground.  He is battered and bruised but otherwise unharmed - just another victim of the cruel bamboo grove.

Meanwhile, the ninja hanging off the side of the horse, appalled and disgusted by the approaching Timmy horde, negotiates a quick truce with Tomoe and allies with the foot samurai.

The red ninja hiding in the tower had been planning on slaying the archer on the ladder, but seeing the cannon officer's brutal murder of the porter throws him into a rage.  He dashes past the officer and with a contemptuous reverse thrust drives his katana directly into the samurai's abdomen.

As the flaming whip spirals down towards the waiting barrels of gunpowder, the demon makes a bizarrely unlucky skill roll and the whip misses completely.  Instead of landing on the cart, the whip tangles itself around the katana of a nearby mounted Imperial officer.  The officer quickly swings his katana as far away from the gunpowder as possible, with a loud shout of surprise and relief!  The demon is so ashamed that he considers committing seppuku right on the spot.  Instead, he sends a telepathic alarm to his sohei to appraise them of the situation.

The two sohei spring into action, issuing quick orders to a sumo and the bandit gunner.  The powerful sumo picks up one of the sohei and throws him at a samurai who is just coming over the top of the wall.  The throw barely misses, but, using a Stupendous Feat, the sohei uses his spear to push against a column as he flies past and redirects his trajectory so that he strikes the samurai dead on.  The samurai is uninjured but knocked off the wall.  The second sohei then grabs the gunner and hoists him up to the spot on the wall formerly occupied by the invading samurai.  The gunner aces his skill roll and shoots one of the gunpowder barrels on the cart.  A huge explosion results.

Ka-Boom!!!

The explosion of the gunpowder cart atomizes the poor ashigaru spearmen and many samurai.  One of the Imperial horses survives but is set on fire.  The brave porter pushing the cart and the gunner who shot it are killed instantly.  The samurai who was knocked off the wall is protected by the burning corpse of the sohei who knocked him off, and he ends up being completely buried under a pile of corpses of minfigs, horses, and trees.  The samurai archer in the tower is torn apart by flying rubble.

The front tower of the monastery is severely damaged, but is just barely able to keep from collapsing.  Fire and carnage are everywhere, and the evil black mounted sohei is so surprised he forgets to keep singing, to everyone's relief.

Inside the gates, rubble has completely blocked the entrance, killing one of the samurai who had made it inside but leaving the other unscathed.

The second sumo, angered that the samurai was not smashed like a bug, picks up an enormous chunk of rubble and hucks it at the samurai.  The throw misses, but the samurai is now completely buried in rubble.

The sorceror, seeing the fragile state of the monastery tower, decides that he should cast a spell to collapse it completely.  However, tallying up his SP, he realizes he won't be able to cast a powerful enough spell at that range to do the job.  Fortunately, he is able to transform into a dragon at will, and he does so.  In dragon form, he is able to quickly fly within range of the tower and cast his spell.

The sorceror can easily see that most of the structural support for the tower has been destroyed on the east side - only a single support beam remains.  He casts his mightiest spell, known as the Flick of God's Finger.  This is enough to destroy the support beam, and the tower collapses forward into the crater left by the exploding cart.

The demon and his flying horse are directly in the path of the falling tower.  In true demonic style, the demon uses a Stupendous Feat to kick his horse directly into the collapsing tower in order to propel himself out of the way.  The horse is splattered like a bug.  Thanks to a bad roll, the demon lands upside-down on a nearby roof and becomes stuck, with one horn deeply impaled in the cross-beam.  This inspires the still-enchanted evil mounted sohei, who bursts into a cover of the Backstreet Boys' "Backstreet's Back Tonight."

The four black ninja prepare for a true kung-fu cinema maneuver.  Three stand in a circle and cross their blades.  The remaining ninja jumps on the crossed blades and the three launch him into the air.  The flying ninja uses a Stupendous Feat to leap onto the tops of the stalks of bamboo in the bamboo grove.

The flying ninja blows his Stupendous Feat roll and falls head-first into the Pit of Death!  He lands directly on one of the spears, which impales his cranium.  At this point it becomes clear that the bamboo grove is the most powerful force in the game.  All units on the field unite to kowtow and give homage to the grove, and all players agree that they have no choice but to concede victory to the bamboo.

Under the tutelage of the wise and powerful bamboo grove, a new era of peace begins in the Kingiri mountains.  The former combatants join together as bamboo-worshipping monks and rebuild the monastery.  A beautiful new shrine is constructed in the grove.  To consecrate the shrine, the monks sacrifice the Timmy Lord in the Pit of Death, and there is great rejoicing.  The local daimyo hears news of the new monastery and sends a message of congratulation, commending the newly-ordained monks on their disposal of the Timmy Lord but warning them that any further songs by Brittney Spears or the Backstreet Boys will bring swift and decisive retribution.

- The End -