Genesis of the BrikVerse
By Tzan 11/30/11
In the beginning
The Great Maker was bored.
There was nothing on TV and it was raining outside.
The playroom was void and darkness was upon the beige carpet.
The Great Maker moved across the face of the beige carpet toward the light switch.
And said "Let there be light", and he flipped the switch.
There was chaos in The Great Bin of Everything.
So the Great Maker separated the red from the green and the green from the blue.
The Maker called the green, grass and the blue, water.
One hour had passed. He had a juice box.
The Great Maker then looked upon the playroom which was still void and lifeless.
The Great Maker had accomplished nothing and he despaired.
So in a fit of rage he cast the contents of The Great Bin into the void of the playroom.
The brix were imbued with this rage and began smashing one upon another.
The Great Mosh Pit of Creation swirled in the void.
Some of these brix formed stars, others planets and moons, The Brikverse was forming.
Brix smashed into brix, and into moons and into planets.
The smashing heated the planets, which formed a pure white ABS molten core.
The edges of the core cooled, forming colored pellets, the pellets formed plates at the surface.
A second hour had passed. He had a second juice box.
Upon the planets, the grass separated the water and the sunlight illuminated the dark places.
From the waters emerged life, a crude creature made from rainbow 2x2 brix.
The Great Maker called them Blokbots.
Over the span of uncountable minutes, the blokbots sorted themselves into single colors.
Red, green and blue blokbots shuffled across the world and constructed blok homes.
And they lived in peace and harmony and The Great Maker saw that it was awesome.
The Great Maker swiftly grew bored with harmony and created a yellow blokbot.
One yellow blokbot begat a great begatting of yellow blokbots, the yellows dominated the world.
The yellows separated the red from the green and the green from the blue blokbots.
A third hour had passed. He had a third juice box and a quick trip to the bathroom.
And so it came to pass that Yellow blokbot confronted Blue about the color of his briks.
Yellow blokbot raised a 2x2 brik on high and smashed Blue blokbot into pellets.
Thus began the first BrikWar, and The Great Maker saw that it was hilarious.
The yellow blokbots created a Great Boxxy Civilization, that spanned the entire Brikverse.
Blokbot waged brikwar on blokbot, upon all the planets and the moons and the suns.
War... War never changes, until it does.
In The Great Dead Pile, off to the side, began a stirring of new life out of the blokbot corpses.
Broken blokbot parts were remolded and assembled in new ways, disturbing ways.
The first Protofig shuffled out of The Dead Pile and they tidied up the war ravaged planet.
A fourth hour had passed. He had a fourth juice box.
Small in number the Protofigs stayed on one planet to avoid the attention of the blokbots.
The Maker imbued them with a sense or order in contrast to the blockbot chaos.
The protofigs built great structures that surpassed the blokbot's architectural tekniques.
Using the science of genetic engineering they began to make improvements on the fig form.
At Hospital 555 the protofigs conducted horrifying experiments to add arms and legs.
The Great Maker looked on with glee, anxious to play with the results.
And so one day, a fig survived the surgery, it had arms and hands and legs and a head.
The Great Maker named it Minifig, and saw that it was awesome.
Driven insane by the experiments the minifig escaped and became the first Deadly Spaceman.
A fifth hour had passed. He had a fifth juice box, totally ruining his appetite for supper.