Grand Location Unification Theory

From BrikWars
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The BrikWars universe is a very big place, and throughout its history there have been many attempts to map it out, either in whole or smaller portions of it. But no map has ever managed to be completely satisfying. Why? There are several reasons.


The Dimensional Problem

Maps are only drawn in two dimensions: height and width. This works okay when mapping smaller places such as a city, a country, or (at a stretch) a planet, but fails completely when you try to map something bigger like a galaxy, because depth comes into play. Two stars might look like they are right next to each other, but one is hundreds of light years above the galaktic plane while the other is equally far below.

Some really expensive maps get around this by projecting a three-dimensional image of the galaxy. But they can still not show the fourth dimension, time, because the universe is constantly moving through time.


The ABS Problem

The universe is made entirely out of ABS plastic, which constantly warps time and place around it, making the dimensions mentioned above even more hazy. How can you put a world on a map when it orbits its star one day, falls into a black hole the second day, and goes out to lunch the third?

Fortunately for their own sanity, minifigs care little about these problems, especially since the ABS shenanigans always work in favor of violence. Star-travelling conquest fleets nearly always arrive at their intended destination, while peaceful traders and tourists frequently find themselves dropped into raging warzones.


The Solution: The Grand Location Unification Theory

To make sense of this chaotic universe, minifig philosophers developed the Grand Location Unification Theory. According to them, all locations and moments are in the same place at the same time. Distance is nothing but an illusion. This explains how starships can travel faster than light, how mechanix can build complex machinery while on constant breaks, how you can travel back in time and kill your own grandpa, etcetera. Warlords and generals across the universe were overjoyed by this theory, since they were no longer restricted to attack the enemies at their borders, but could ravage any territory they wanted.