Enter The Adorrible's!

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

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CaLego420
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Enter The Adorrible's!

Post by CaLego420 » Wed Sep 15, 2021 2:39 am

Glamourtown, Planet Gloriousia III, Fringe System

Voice of Director Magda Lena:"It should be noted that the presumptuous naming scheme of this area of the System, is both cheesy and insulting to my delicate sensibilities, as well as being a complete misnomer since this rock has actually zero value as even a celestial body, broke ass disgruntled citizens, is slowly falling out of it's orbit, and that whole air BnB play was a pump and dump of the grandest design. As such I've dictated that the planets destruction, or retroactive aggressive terraforming (whichever comes first) is to be conducted at the earliest of conveniences of whoever-the-hell cares. Like, I seriously need only push a button to blow it into particulate matter, but just thinking about that shithole makes me depressed, so there that is...

Image20210718_211127 by Dats Private, on Flickr

"Glamourtown, for what it once was, is a quiet place...well except for the protesters..."

Union rep lady: "...and that's right, when you join the Serving Girls Guild we offer competitive wages, a non-sexual harassment work locale, and of course protection from bigger, meaner factions, who get their kicks killing innocent background characters, a 401k, and 90 days paid leave of absence..."
Girl 1: "...but can we still wear these skimpy outfits?"
Union rep lady: "....yes"
Girl 1: "Woohooo!"
Girl 2: "Sign me up!"
Girl 4: "It's about time!"
Girl 3: "Down with whitey!"

Image20210718_211341 by Dats Private, on Flickr

"...no doubt that that's going to end well... Err, the potential criminal element..."

????: "This stuff ain't half bad, but what is taking these bozo's so long though? Good help is hard to strongarm into servitude nowadays..."

Image20210718_211308 by Dats Private, on Flickr

"...the creepy-yet-somehow-personable-solo-successful-hotel-owner-and-his-not-scary-but-rustic-establishment..."

????: "If only they knew my true purpose hehe...!"
"What's that?!!"
????: "No-nothing to see here boss!"
"Yeah don't be trying to be all foreshadowey and shit, bruh...I'm watching you...

Image20210718_211420 by Dats Private, on Flickr

"...and of course the dedicated men and women in blue...of The U.P.F?....waitaminute...

Trooper 1: "Sir, those protesters decibel levels have increased to 'cheer' status! Want we should crack some skulls and dispense some hot justice juice on those lawbreaking ladies?"
????: "What? No, what in the actual fuck is wrong with you?"
Trooper 1: "Just doing my diligent duty to dust up delinquents doing dirty deeds!"
Trooper 2: "You sound like a reject from a d-grade '90s rap group!"

Image20210718_211441 by Dats Private, on Flickr

????: "Both of you shut your trucker ticklers....dammit now I'm doing it. I hate this assignment....where in the brikhell is our relief?"

"...hmm. Well I guess it's only a small squad, and this place stays pretty quiet, and maybe they haven't shitspread their influence too far around. Yeah, who am I kidding, this town is fucked...at least it looks to not be a trouble spot, right...?

Image20210718_214803 by Dats Private, on Flickr

*Dimensional cracking noises*

Image20210718_215141 by Dats Private, on Flickr

*Kerrslamcrashtastrophe!!*
*Disenfranchised moans and noises of various discomforts*

Image20210718_215158 by Dats Private, on Flickr

????: "Whoa....so like I totally had this duck hero show, right, and he was all like 'any crash you can walk away from is a good one' and I think l totally get the higher echelon of the deeper meaning now, dude! What a total soul-moment! I feel all in touch with stuff...how 'bout you guys, you good there folks?"

Image20210718_232124 by Dats Private, on Flickr

Dork-O: "Aawwwiiggghhhh....this is why time-traveling delivery services are strickly forbidden by the Eldorribles! That courier deserves a long rest in a Birb rookery! Where are we? Or better yet, when?"
????: "Good question, my guy!"
Dork-O: "...please stop talking...my Queen, are you alright?!"

Image20210719_192108 by Dats Private, on Flickr

*Muffled muffin mentions*
Dork-O: "The Flask! Quickly we must secure--!"

Image20210719_192342 by Dats Private, on Flickr

Queen Qutsee: "Naw, it's all good! Got it right here!"
Dork-O: "Oh thank the Lunch Ladies!"
Queen Qutsee: "Yeah, time to get Flasky with it....err, wait...Where in the rootbeer float are we?"
Dork-O: "Unknown my queen, as well as to when
Queen Qutsee: "What?!? That isn't good, is it?"
Dork-O: "Most definitively not."
Queen Qutsee: "Supreme Smoked Sausage's! We need to move here folks, who knows what that Loligators been getting into!"
Dork-O: "That is much easier said than done, majesty."

Image20210719_192559 by Dats Private, on Flickr

"Well if it's the one thing I've ever learned over the years, is that potentially hostile extra-dimensional beings that crash land out of a temporal displacement vortex can turn a quiet town into a cacophony of chaos quite quickly...ohthatdirtymother---now I'm doing it..."

????: "Oh my aching stress-monkeys, what in the actual fuck is going on today?
Trooper 2: "Sir, these guys are a class 4 level threat!"

Image20210719_192846 by Dats Private, on Flickr

"By now though the commotion has been well noticed making a strange situation even more weird."

Union Rep Lady: "See what'd I tell ya? No doubt some poor background bastard is about to get minced into a fine paste!"
Girl 1: "Although they do have some justifiable fashion sense!"
Union Rep Lady: "I agree, just look at her shoes...total jelly of that lucky bitch!"

Image20210719_192733 by Dats Private, on Flickr

Trooper 1: "Totally time to take---!"
????: "If you say another word I will shoot you myself! Shut it!"
*Radio crackle*
????: "This is Sherriff Stikndaass! We got a verified listee that's just made contact outta cata-3 Time Twister!! Ordering immediate reinforcements or prio-1 dustoff, a.s.a.p.! How you read H.Q.?"
H.Q,: "Negative, that's a negative Glamtown! Reinforcements unavailable! Prio-1 dustoff en route, hold your positions! You are authorized to go Heavy, times two! Repeat all! Prio-1 on way, authorized Heavy two times, over!"
Stikndaass: "That's affirm H.Q.! Double Heavy, go! Tell them flyboys to fuck the speed limit!"

Image20210719_193648 by Dats Private, on Flickr

H.Q.: "Roger that, Glamtown! Good hunting!"
Stikndaass: "Shit, looks like we are going to have hunker down!"

Image20210719_193817 by Dats Private, on Flickr

Stikndaass; "Alright go bust out the hardware and wake those crybabies up, looks like we got us a situation!
Trooper 1 & 2: "Yessir!"

"Yup, just another quiet day in ol' Glamtown..."

Image20210719_193318 by Dats Private, on Flickr

Queen Qutsee: "Okay let's ask somebody directions and the day of the week, maybe take in a quick show, but for the love of lollipops, everybody remember where we parked!"
Dork-O: "I think getting validated will be the least of our worries, my Queen..."

"Yeah. There's absolutely no way anything can go wrong on this sleepy world..."

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Food_Truk
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Re: Enter The Adorrible's!

Post by Food_Truk » Wed Sep 15, 2021 11:13 am

I foresee...war. :studgod: "Kerrslamcrashtastrophe" is my new favourite word now.

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CaLego420
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Re: Enter The Adorrible's!

Post by CaLego420 » Thu Sep 16, 2021 3:03 pm

Food_Truk wrote:
Wed Sep 15, 2021 11:13 am
I foresee...war. :studgod: "Kerrslamcrashtastrophe" is my new favourite word now.
Your foresight is...at least a part 2 away. I'm not sure about the exchange rate, but unless you use it 5 times a week there's going to be some backend royalties, fo'sure!

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