Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2019 11:11 pm
Somewhere aboard the Brootal Kapital Kroozer the ESS.ESS. GrimmDark....
A Brootal plot unfolds.
"I told ya dis would werk, I told ya!"
"Yea you sure did. Now get down you fugg'n-"
"Yea yea yea. I jus'' wanted ta make sure his cod-plate was on tight enuff-"
"WHAT YOU PANZEE BOYZ TALKIN' ABOUT HUH?
"I SAID. WHAT YOU LOT. TALKIN' ABOUT?"
"Does I need ta turn ya to paste an' get answers from sum otha scrub?"
"Uh no bawss. Wez can esplain."
"Wez rebuilt ya, Warbawss Grimjaw!"
"Youz done WHAT TA ME?"
"AN' WHO DA FUG TOLD YA TA DO DAT? IT CERTAINLY WEREN'T ME!"
"Bawss, i-it waz.... y'know.her. Da big plant-lady!"
"OH WELL IN DAT KASE-"
"I guess dat's fine den."
"SO. Hhwhat's our statuz? I heard da call during the Glass City siege before da blackness overtook me."
"Bawss, wez got the remainder of our invashion fleet konvergin' in on da big one."
"Yea, wez in for a reel big fite! Da biggest in a long time!"
Grimjaw turns toward the window as he observes their progress. "So it iz fin'lee time den. But dis ain't da end. Wez jus' gettin' started. Ain't we, ladz?"
"Yer dam rite, bawss!"
"Wait, da screen is beepin'. Who hit da ship'z self-destrute already?"
"Oh Mammothra, who are dese klownz?"
"I AM DA KAPTAIN NAO!" One of the orkz bellows.
"YOU FUGGIN' WHAT NOW?!"
"Pardon him, Grimjaw Gitgrabba. He dun speak too much," an ork with a cybernetic eye replies. "But dis is no social call."
"Indeed, ya uglee scrubz!" Growled an ork that appeared to be slightly feminine. "We three are da meanest brootalz in our sectaz of the galaxy, and wez 'ere to issue you a challange, Grimjaw!"
"I. AM. DA KAPTAIN NOW!"
"HEH. GO ON DEN. BUT IF YER LOOKIN' TA TUSSLE, HAVE YA SEEN HOW BIG I GOT?"
"Youz all talk an' no show, Grimjaw!"the cybernetic-eyed bawss spat, "our challenge iz simple. Da Battel ahead is gonna be long. It'll need all of our leaderin' skillz. Whichever ov us does da best job and doesn't get gutted gets ta run for da next Warbawss of all da Brootal horde!"
"HA! I ACCEPT YER STINKIN' CHALLENGE! BUT ON'LEE UNDER ONE CONDISHION: WHEN I WIN, YOU LOT BUGGER RITE DA FUGG OFF TO DA FURTHEST REACHES OF DA BRIKVERSE!"
"Ya better hope ya win den, Grimjaw," hissed the sligthtly feminine brootal, "cuz we expect you ta do da same if ya lose. If you ain't splattered again dat is."
"I AM DA KAPTAIN... NOW!"
With dat, the call ends. The screen turns off before Grimjaw can jeer again at the other warbawsses.
"HAHA! DIS IS GONNA BE FUN, AIN'T IT LADZ? C'MON DEN, FILL UP YER GUNZ AND SHARPEN YER CHOPS, CUZ WEZ GETTIN DUG IN DEEP!"