Boris continued sailing onwards
“I’M ON SCREEN? AFTER TWO YEARS?? BATTLE?? BATTLE??? DO I GET TO DO SOMETHING FOR REAL??
“Boss, I think you might be losing it.”
“Yyeeaaaahh iiiiiit’s probaaaaablyyyyy juuuuuuust a soooooooooap”
“NO! I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT! WE’RE ONLY ON SCREEN BECAUSE BLOODLUST!”
“I uuuuused tooooo haaaaave blooooooood”
“I can assure you, you have never been the subject of my lust.”
“Weeeellll yooooou’re nooooot myyyyy tyyyyype aaaaaand aaaaaa fiiiiiight yooooou maaaay geeeeet”
“Okay you two, there’s land there. And other boats approaching.”
“You… you’re not a very good lookout… Like, we’re right here. You don’t need to shout”
“Anyways, we’re here to parlay rather than sinking on sight.”
“Okay, first off, lookout, YOU SCREAM LAND HO! Second, I am in charge here. We’re looking for fellow orcs, which you appear to be.”
“HE ALSO MADE ME DEADS AND WON’T LET ME OFF THE BOAT!!”
“Alright, get on, we’ll take a bunch of you to the beach. Your ship’s to big to dock here given our troubles…”
“Specifically, because of the sudden sandbar blocking access to our dock. We’ll drop you here and go get some more of your crew. Only reason we still have that ship probably, all our others got sunk by a mysterious violent incident.
“Worse still, we lost our masts on this one and there’s no good mast trees on this island. Captain is on the ship there if you want to talk to him.”
“Still, looks like it would be a nice ship if it could get free.. And we grab a mast from another island with our ship…”
“Iiiii heeeeear soooomethiiiing calliiiiiing meeeee… Jaaaaaaaaack, Jaaaaaack it calls”
“Yeessssss… I was knooooown as Stingy Jack iiiin liiiife wheeeeen I haaaaad a heeeaaaad”
“Oooohh gooooood griiiieeeef aaaa pumpkiiiiiin fooooor aaaaa loooost soooouuul”
“AAAAHHH PUMPKIIIIINS CONSUMING MEEEEEE!! WHYYYYY MUUUUST I FEEEEEEL THEEEEM PHOTOSYNTHESIZING MEEEEEEE”
“Ow ow ow ow the pain is so much my head is missing ow ow ow WHY OH WHY”
“HEAD! HOW I MISSED HAVING YOU ATTACHED!!”
“Ah. Here we go. Just populate a lost soul and here we go. Just call me Jack O’ Lantern.”
“Hm… Got a pumpkin patch here…”
“PHOTOSYNTHESIZE MY MINIONS!!”
“Hey Boss, should we do anything?”
“Stop moving, we’re in a cinematic.”
“ARISE MY MINIONS! GUARD YOURSELVES WITH JACK O LANTERN LIDS!”
“Yessss, use the misery of this lost soul… and bombs. Bombs help more than sadness.”
“Uuhh… not sure what butterflies armed with coral axes have to do with Halloween, but whatever. I’ll take it”
“Ah, much better. Man eating pumpkin plants.”
“Must… seize… ship… Yarr….”
“Hey now, be careful, you might chop off someone’s head!”
“Hmm… using those giant pumpkins people float around in as a naval portion is interesting… but could really go for one a bit more dangerous…”
“Ah. There we go. ARE THOSE CANNONS???”
“Yessss…. Very good. We shall gain the power to summon you master!!”
“Yessss…. Go forth my minions, slaughter to free me! Then I can bring presents to that poor child dutifully waiting for me and begin my reign of merriment!!”
“Hem hem. I believe there is something coming that disagree”
“NUUUUUUUUTSS!!! CRAAAAACK!!!”
“Fear not! It is I, Manly Santa’s younger bother! Nerdy Annoying Santa!”
“Ha. That’s all the forces of Manly Santa Day can send??”
“Oh I also have a Manly Santa Day Tree gun and like, an army.”
*blurble blurble*
Suddenly, a line of heroes appears with the text saying “Choose your hero” and the cursor replaced by a manta ray.
Eh Leck the Smrt: “Wait, what? OH RIGHT! PATHFINDER WAS CANCELLED FOR A WAR THIS WEEK! OKAY GUYS, WE AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!”
Olivier De Vienne: “How did we even get here, we were just in the woods, how did we end up on the coast?”
Fandraenal: “Wait, THIS is what that river becomes?”
Chaxo: “Does anyone have a scroll for Teleport?”
Ursa (In bear): “I have no idea what is going on, but apparently we’re mostly just focused on the bizarre geographical development instead of trying to understand what the blue one is saying. Have we been around him that long that nobody even questions it anymore??”
Okay, here we go. Before we begin, this is where we’re at. You could call it perhaps an initial overview.
