A Crappy Brikfic

BrikWars fiction in long-prose form. Trigger warning: Walls of text

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Dedshell
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A Crappy Brikfic

Post by Dedshell » Mon Jan 11, 2021 1:37 pm

In the uncounted beginning,
There was the Great Maker,
Just like there was a Great Maker at each beginning, middle or end of every Kanon.

The Great Maker was displeased.
And it created a pleasant-like suburb
With picket fence gardens and nice houses.

By the gods, was that creation an utter clusterf*ck.

In an act of sheer rage, the Great Maker swept their hand upon the town
And reduced it to plastic rubble.
The reasoning for its destruction was simple,
The Great Maker is an obsessive compulsive neurotic,
And two of the houses were ever so slightly off center.
To the eyes of the Great Maker, this response was warranted.

All notions of chaos are of utmost impropriety,
And therefore heresy to the code of order.

The Great Maker had a nasty idea,
An idea nasty enough to make even the Triple Ossum
Retch in a fit of disgust.

From the bones of a numerous amount of figurines,
simply described as what the Great Maker could note as "badass,"
And created the DemiKanon Orderlord.

It dawned on the Great Maker that there was no such thing as the DemiKanon.
But it also dawned on them that the DemiKanon could easily exist,
If they indoctrinate the population with it.
And so they did.

The DemiKanon Orderlord strives for order,
And its concept of order is arbitrarily centered around an eradication of chaos through creating more chaos.
This mindset is not enacted until something of great proportions rouses it,
And in this case something did:

Ragnablok.

The effect of Ragnablok violently shook the Beige-Reality-Interwarping-Karpet.
It especially shook the DemiKanon, the empty spaces between each individual thread.
The first Orderlord snapped awake, donning a smile composed of raw bloodlust.

He ripped the threads of the surrounding Kanons around him,
Gunning down alternate universe after alternate universe.
It brought more and more joy unto him until he met his match.

The Blue Deadly Spaceman.

With his bare fists, the Blue Deadly Spaceman singlehandedly tore the Orderlord limb from limb,
And left his limp plastic corpse to rot,
Halfway protruding from an Interkanonical gate, and halfway submerged into the DemiKanon.
The rampage would have been over,
Had the Great Maker been a sane individual and not a power-hungry megalomaniac.

The Great Maker was always there to forcibly rekonstrukt the Orderlord after each perishing,
And thus began the Age of the Nonkanonical Intrusion.

From the echoes of the last raging battle,
To the screams of the last dying Minifig,
It will be then when the Age ceases.
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⡠⡤⡤⡤⡤⡤⡤⡠⡤⡤⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣗⢝⢮⢯⡺⣕⢡⡑⡕⡍⣘⢮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⣝⢮⡪⡪⡪⡎⡎⡮⡲⣱⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢸⡳⡽⣝⢝⢌⢣⢃⡯⣗⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⡽⣺⢽⢽⢵⣻⢮⢯⠟⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠽⠽⡽⣽⣺⢽⠝⠄⠄⢰⢸⢝⠽⣙⢝⢿ ⡄⢸⢹⢸⢱⢘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣵⣧⣫⣶⣜⣾ ⣧⣬⣺⠸⡒⠬⡨⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠡⠑⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠠⢀⢀⢀⡀⡀⠠⢀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢐⢀⠂⢄⠇⠠⠈⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠠⠈⢈⡄⠄⢁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠠⠐⣼⠇⠄⡀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⡀⠈⠂⣀⠄⢀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⠐⢀⣸⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

I'm gnot a gnelf, I'm gnot a gnoblin, I'm a gnome! And you've been... gnomed!

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