Between A Rock

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
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Kommander Ken
an avid fan of large round cannons
an avid fan of large round cannons
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Between A Rock

Post by Kommander Ken » Tue May 07, 2019 11:15 pm

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The Immortal Empire has established an iron grip on the abandoned Trattorian capital of Conselia City for strategic, tactful reasons.




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Even now the city sits in silence, skyscrapers dismantled to build great walls and bunkers to keep enemies of the Empire, old and new alike, from tarnishing Warhead's newest Trophy City.




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Even defeated Trattorian drones were left in the streets where they fell, as a testament to the Immortals 'victory' over them.




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All of this manpower and artillery was stationed in and around the capital in order to prevent it from falling to the mercilous waves of Ragnablok as the surrounding lands already have.





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Immortal regulars have even built up further defenses at the edge of the wastelands, as if daring any agents of Ragnablok, TA, or even the RC to try to lay siege to the self-proclaimed greatest Empire in the brikverse, the Immortals!




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A kaptain is amongst his regulars, going about their daily routine of checking their weaponry, munitions stocks, and belittling his subordinates. "Keep your eyes open, you fucking shitgoats! Or I'll throw your sorry asses out there and give us all something to shoot at!"




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"Well I'll be dipped in liquid OT! looks like we won't be needing any friendly fire exercises today boys!"




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Indeed as the telltale rumble of sand-choked engines reverberated down the broken pavement, the Immortals knew they were in for a fight.




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"Alrite, tuff riderz! You kno wat to do! Rev 'em up, cut 'em down, all fer operashin:




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BROOTAL DISTRACCSHIIIIN!" They bellowed in unison.





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"Fire goddeldammit, fire!" The kaptain barked, as machinegun and rifle fire lit up the asphalt.




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The Brootal tuff riderz start doing what all Brootalz do best: Killing and breaking things while laughing and jeering loudly. Machinegun and small arms fire might have peppered their bikes, but what did they care?




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While the riderz revved and cut, the leader of the bunch slid his bike until it was parallel with the Immortal defenses. He seemed to be surveying the perimeter they had built up with an increasingly wider and wider grin.




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Immortal gunners release a fiery mortar into the graying sky.




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It strikes hard and true, obliterating rider and bike alike.




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The tuff leader produced a Brootal walkntalk from the cupholder of his bike, flicked it on and yelled into it, "Ayy bawss! We found da Immortal trophee city! I finks itz Trash-bore-ian or sumfin."




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Meanwhile a Terrorkhan turret releases a powerful bolt from the wall above.




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Removing another bike from the battlefield and sending its rider tumbling down in front of the Immortal frontlines.




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The regulars hardly waited for the greenskin to get up to turn him into a bullet sponge.




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"Bawss, you betta come quikk! Theys got all kinds of big gunz and normie gitz to brootalyze!"
"ALRITE LAD! I GOTS YA LOKAYSHIN HERE ON MY LOKATOR! MAKE SUM ROOM FOR A BIG TELEWARP!"
"Wat you say bawss? Da wifi here iz kinda shite-"




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-KA-BOOM!




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The Immortals waste no time in wasting the last rider, but the message across worlds and maybe even across dimensions has already been sent.




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Unknowingly to the Immortals.




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"Is that it?" The kaptain remarked, probably voicing the other regulars' questions. "Is that all you can spare, greenskins?"




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"Intel was right, the Brootalz really are just predictably dumb. What a joke."




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Then with an audible pop, a circular flat plane materialized over the end of the disheveled roadplate.




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The airborne blemish suddenly expanded over six times, forming a strange papery membrane.




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"Okay so what the fuck is that thing then?"




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An armored head ripped through the cosmic membrane. It let loose a long, horrible roar as its dully glowing orange eyes locked onto the Immortals' position.




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"S-s-sir! That thing's a portal! The Brootalz..."
"Well I stand corrected."





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THUD!




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The monster lumbered out of the portal, tearing it apart as easily as spikey bits through paper. On top of its back stood an equally powerful figure, Grimjaw Gitgrabba, Warlord of the Brootal hordes.





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"SO YOU IMMORTAL PANZEES LIKE SITTIN' AROUND IN A CITIEZ MADE OF GLASS HUH?"




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"SOMEFING ABOUT DAT SOUNDS LIKE A REEEEL BAD IDEA, DON'T IT?"




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"BUT THATZ JUSTA THEORY. RIIIIIITE?"




[up next, a forum battle]

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Bolicob12
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Re: Between A Rock

Post by Bolicob12 » Tue May 07, 2019 11:33 pm

Beautiful

Falk
Oh no whatever will we do without the buttplugs
Oh no whatever will we do without the buttplugs
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Re: Between A Rock

Post by Falk » Tue May 07, 2019 11:55 pm

Woooo
BrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
Empire of Luchardsko WIP wiki page

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ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
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Re: Between A Rock

Post by ninja_bait » Wed May 08, 2019 12:03 am

Brootaful. I laughed, I cried, I felt the ancient bloodlust deep in my soul. Just keeps getting better.
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
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sahasrahla
that is a fantastic question to which no satisfactory answer will be forthcoming
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Re: Between A Rock

Post by sahasrahla » Wed May 08, 2019 1:13 am

brootalize me next, grimjaw

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Scribonius
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Re: Between A Rock

Post by Scribonius » Wed May 08, 2019 7:41 pm

Those bikes are awesome. :twisted:

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RedRover
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Re: Between A Rock

Post by RedRover » Thu May 09, 2019 11:49 pm

sahasrahla wrote:
Wed May 08, 2019 1:13 am
brootalize me next, grimjaw
Brootalize us all daddy Ken

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MadMario
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Re: Between A Rock

Post by MadMario » Fri May 10, 2019 11:09 am

Great Work. I`m officially impressed. :tiger: :tiger: :omnom:
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