The Battle of Browntable (First recorded Brikwar)

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The Battle of Browntable (First recorded Brikwar)

Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:06 am

Warning: The following battle is somewhere around eighty pictures.

Prologue

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The Teams

Space Precinct B
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Lead by a man known only as Das Raver, the group known as Space Precinct B is, quite simply, a galactic police force. Brought together by promises of pay and glory, the men and women of this organization vary greatly in terms of morals and specialties.

The Junkmen
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Description here.

Harrismander's Forces
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Lead by a deranged man known as The Harrismander, little else is known about this strange force other than the fact that it may take commands from an even higher power.

San Santos Mercenaries
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A group of mercenaries from all over the galaxy. Hired by an unknown individual to retrieve the core.

Locals and Space Paladins
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Browntable is a planet which often receives little visitors, that is, until the core was discovered. Unaware of it's practical use, the locals have since taken to worshiping the glowing slab of SCIENCE! With space paladins watching over the sacred artifact, the people of Browntable have nothing to worry about. That is, until four index card fortresses showed up overnight.

The Objective

The main objective of this game was simple, grab the core and bring it to the inside of your base.
"You know it."

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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:22 am

Round 1

The Junkmen
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After winning initiative, the Junkmen waste no time letting their presence be known. A strike team of Halods moves forward and fires from the index card base into the town. Unfortunately for them, no attacks hit. The locals and paladins are now alert.

Harrismander's Forces
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Coming up second in initiative, Harrismander decides to move two droids outside of his base and into the front lines. A paladin waits at the ready.

San Santos Mercenaries
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Following the same gameplan as the previous two factions, the San Santos mercenaries advance up to the local's encampment. They are confronted by a sword wielding local.

Space Precinct B
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Being the only team with any guard towers (Three cheers for leftover bricks), no men advance as a sniper takes a shot into the local outpost.
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Ah, I love the smell of dead minifigs in the morning... or late afternoon in this case.

Locals and Space Paladins
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A paladin moves forward to confront the droids. Sadly, he is unable to do anything.
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The sword wielding local, apparently believing that these mercenaries are trespassing on his lawn of scrap met-...er... bricks, attacks a gunner. He fails to do any damage, but comes close.
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Meanwhile, at the junkmen's fortress, an enraged local storms into the still open gate and fatally stabs poor Paco!
"You know it."

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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:41 am

Round 2

The Junkmen
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Fueled by the power of "doesn't afraid of anything", strike team leader Halo introduces Paco's killer to a fistful of buckshot.
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In a similar fit of revenge and rage, Lopez moves forward with his gun blazing. He riddles an advancing paladin.

Harrismander's Forces
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Swarming the unfortunate paladin, two of Harrismander's droids begin to pull the devout fellow apart in gruesome fashion. A stick wielding local watches in horror!

San Santos Mercenaries
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Insulted by the fact that a local would dare hit his weapon, the lone San Santos gunner deals with the unarmored and delusional man quickly before moving deeper into the field.

Space Precinct B
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One kill.
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One shot. Or was it other way around? Regardless, the forces of Space Precinct B allow their snipers to clear the area before even thinking of advancing.

Locals and Space Paladins
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A panicked local attempts to dispatch of a droid with his mighty stick (teehee), he comes up a little short however.
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As the local deals with his length problem, a chainpole wielding paladin destroys the once... not as ugly... face of a San Santos mercenary.
"You know it."

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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:13 am

Round 3

The Junkmen
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Spying a convenient explosive canister near the enemy's position, Halo pulls his men back before ordering Lopez to take the shot.
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Oh dear! Did they really think leaving that out in the open was a good idea? With their gate sealed and their men anxiously waiting to move out again, the Halods decide to wait.

Harrismander's Forces
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Harrismander moves a large, wheel wielding, armored man forward. Not stopping for a moment, he squashes the head of the local with ease.

San Santos Mercenaries
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Avenging his battle buddy, the merc gunner kills the paladin until he is dead. Wait what?
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Another member of the mercs moves in and fires his grenade launcher after declaring, quite openly and loudly might I add, that he is in fact a gnome.
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Fire away you silly little gnome, you!
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Unfortunately...
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Everything didn't go as planned.
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This pisses the local janitor off.
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That won't save you now, you repetitive son of a bitch.
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This round is all explosions! I swear!
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This man died for your sins.

Space Precinct B
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A stealth droid is moved forward.
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He is covered on his way to the core by both sniper towers.
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They do quite well for themselves.

Locals and Space Paladins
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The paladin mech advances and takes out one of those pesky droids as a local rider charges towards the second one.
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...And critically fails. Looks like you were going a little too fast, sport. How-about I take you out for ice cream? You'll get them next time kiddo.
"You know it."

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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:36 am

Round 4

The Junkmen
Fearing the Space Precinct's sniper towers, the Halods move to the other side of their base.

Harrismander's Forces
Scared of the incoming mech, Harrismander seals his gates. Locking the droid and large armored man outside.

San Santos
Demoralized by the loss of Gnome and by a mech suit moving in, the San Santos mercenaries fall back as well.

Space Precinct B
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Taking advantage of the lack of photos, which implies that every other team's actions were not very interesting, the stealth bot moves forward and is spotted by the last remaining local.
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The local is also spotted however...
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Does this count as a genocide? I really feel the only victims here are the locals and paladins.

Locals and Space Paladins
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Speaking of which, the last remaining paladin destroys the large armored man. This proves once and for all that the large armored man wasn't so large really... Space paladin. I don't even know where I was going with that one.
"You know it."

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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:54 am

Round 5

The Junkmen
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The Halods move forward, with their commander showing off how surprisingly flexible and unafraid he is.

Harrismander's Forces
Scared (like a baby) of a harmless paladin in a mech suit. Harrismander has his men hold inside of his impenetrable base of index cards. No photo for you, sucker.

San Santos Mercenaries
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The mercenaries move forward in full force, ready to take on the mech suit.

Space Precinct B
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As the other forces are busy regrouping and moving out, the stealth droid grabs the core! For some unknown reason grabbing the core makes sneaking impossible. Most would blame balancing, but I blame SCIENCE!
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A sniper also takes out the San Santos merc's grenadier, boy he sure will wake up sore in the morning.
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And dead.

Locals and Space Paladins
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The last paladin attempts to break down the gate of Harrismander's expertly crafted index card base. With little success, he now stares at nothing in particular while looking mildly disgruntled or entirely neutral about the whole situation. It's your call really.
"You know it."

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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:12 am

Round 6

The Junkmen
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Attempting to stop the stealth droid, a nameless Halod moves to the core.

Harrismander's Forces
Still holding in his base (like a baby), Harrismander takes no action. You shall get no photo for this act of cowardice!

San Santos Mercenaries
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The merc commander states the obvious and has his men move to cover.

Space Precinct B
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Sniper! Oh...

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If only I had typed faster, he could have been saved. Goodbye, nameless Halod.

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The stealth droid moves back to the base with the slab of SCIENCE! in hand.

Locals and Space Paladins
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The visor is down because shit just got real, the mech finally managed to do some significant damage to Harrismander's once seemingly impenetrable index card fortress!
"You know it."

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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:27 am

Round 7

The Junkmen
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The junkmen fire from their base at the stealth droid as the Halods continue to advance. This does diddly however, as no man would ever shoot from his base... My snipers are an exception.

Harrismander's Forces
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All of Harrismander's men still hold, expecting the mech to destroy their carefully crafted index card gate.

San Santos Mercenaries
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While in cover, a lone unnamed mercenary grabs a convenient exploding canister. This can only end in disaster.
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If it hadn't been a critical...
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Wowzers! That sure was neato!

Space Precinct B
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The stealth droid is greeted by a friendly patrol unit upon reaching the outside of Precinct B's fort. Victory is within our grasp!

Locals and Space Paladins
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We're sorry, they are currently blurry and dead. Please leave a message at the tone.
"You know it."

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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:58 am

Round 8

The Junkmen
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The junkmen deploy a jetpack unit as the Halods still move forward. Should have thought of that sooner, sport.
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They also send out a lone cruiser to stop the stealth droid. Say, that pilot looks familiar. I wonder if he and my lone officer that has yet to see any action in this battle are related...

Harrismander's Forces
Deciding that the battle is lost, Harrismander keeps his men inside his walls. No photo for you. This guy, I swear.

San Santos Mercenaries
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The mercenaries too decide the battle is lost. Gosh, what a bunch of quitters. One lone merc decides to take the shot despite his leader's commands.
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The icecream offer still stands, kiddo. Not sure if your leader will let you go out after that terrible display though.

Space Precinct B
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Hail to the king, baby.
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Flawless victory.
"You know it."

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Postby Warhead » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:15 pm

Some very imaginative and inventive reporting techniques, man I wish I still had Photoshop editing (no Flash).
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Motherfucker!
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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:15 pm

Epilogue
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And so, the planet of Blowntable was decimated. Truth be told, it's population wasn't very large anyway and they really should have noticed the four index card fortresses earlier, especially considering they took up so much space. The locals and paladins shall be missed.

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Das Raver was successful in retrieving the power core of SCIENCE! for his superiors. What they are planning with it remains unknown.

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Harrismander took out his anger for his defeat by desecrating what was left of the paladins and locals. Sure, kick them while they're down. You baby.

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The San Santos Mercenaries held a ceremony to commemorate their fallen.

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Their mascot was sad. :(

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The Junkmen too had a ceremony for their fallen.

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But then they remembered that they had a cloning chamber.

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And Paco was born... reborn... he's a clone.

Browntable would remain uninhabited until another group of hapless minifigs stumble upon other artifacts of varying importance. If there's one thing to be learned from this all, I'm sure it's this.

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And that's that. Comments, questions, and constructive criticism is all welcome.
Last edited by Das Raver B on Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"You know it."

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Postby Das Raver B » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:17 pm

Warhead wrote:Some very imaginative and inventive reporting techniques, man I wish I still had Photoshop editing (no Flash).


I did this all with MS paint actually.
"You know it."

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Postby Zahru II » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:36 pm

You sir are astonishing.
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Postby The_Junkman » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:43 pm

I wish The Junkmen blew up some more stuff. There was yet another barrel in front of them they could have hit. If only, if only.
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Postby Yoda_Dog » Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:04 pm

This battle = win.

Almost as win as the cake in my new sig.
Arkbrik wrote:Rayhawk is lazy.
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