Assault on Goatse Bunker

They're all the rage

Moderators: BrickSyd, Elmagnifico

Postby stubby » Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:53 am

Dammit! I'm locked out of the site again, somehow the DNS tables keep getting messed up somewhere between me and brikwars. I figured out I can still access it through my blackberry though, ha. I managed to get a set of photos uploaded before everything broke, let's see if I can do BBCode through the blackberry interface.

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Wow that was painful to type out by hand. Anyway, here's the epic turn that ForlornCreature couldn't contain himself waiting for. His Yellow DSMs epically gather all of their mighty power and sprint to the amazing left! They are now a couple of inches away from where they were previously!

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The Vikings, with a natural affinity for metal music, are inspired to charge forward and leap across the lava! - except that between the tank trap and the Red DSMs heading back to pick.up more bricks for their bridge, there's no clear path for a Sprint. They all reach the inner rim safely however.

As the FALX finish up their bridge, the Space Mall Cops march up confidently behind them. "Thanks guys!"

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The remaining UNDF guys have an idea, and head back to their fallen brother. They rip off his head and pants and hurl them at the How Do I Shot Web Men climbing up through the spikes. Both throws miss, and the head and pants are impaled on spikes.

The How Do I Shot Web Men continue climbing their way through the spikes. Exercising caution, one makes no progress at all, while the other slowly makes it up to hide behind the Property Of Immortals sign. The HDISW Man already on the island Charges at the gunner to his left and sends him flying.

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He only meant to shove him into the lava, but some bonus dice from the Charge sends the gunner all the way across the lava pit to land on a Matey, interrupting his jig. Both are Disrupted but unharmed.

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The NASA Jesus Clones try to pry up the material of the fingers to give themselves cover, but discover that the back end extends deep into the earth, impossible to lift. The other end isn't connected to anything, though, and working together they're able to lift a finger against the Racist Stereotypes.

The Cosplayers have a similar idea, taking cover under another finger after throwing out a couple of bricks to serve as a foundation for a bridge across the lava.

The Metal Warriors are angry that someone is playing metal axe guitar and it's not them, so they charge out onto the Jesuses' bridge and lay down some heavy speed metal under the shadow of the giant finger. Everyone throws up the horns.

There! That was painful to type out on this teeny tiny keyboard but there you go. I was waiting to run the turns over at the ninja area to give Paco time to send in orders, but he never did, so I'll just move forward with those as soon as I get photo-upload access to the site again.
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Postby solvess » Sun Dec 05, 2010 8:36 am

What? I thought I sent orders.
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Postby Natalya » Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:56 am

I know you're having technical difficulties, but when you get a chance, can you send some overview pics? I can't see what's going on where my cosplayers are.
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Postby stubby » Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:30 pm

solvess wrote:What? I thought I sent orders.

I did your side of the table the night before, your guys moved forward and expanded their wall. There's three dozen teams to get through, you'll come around again.

Natalya: the cosplayers built their bridge out and moved back to hide under the giant index finger. I'll upload the photo as soon as I get access back.
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Postby Rocket_Saint » Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:01 am

stubby wrote:Image

The NASA Jesus Clones try to pry up the material of the fingers to give themselves cover, but discover that the back end extends deep into the earth, impossible to lift. The other end isn't connected to anything, though, and working together they're able to lift a finger against the Racist Stereotypes.


Ha ha, I had no idea how awesome that last command was going to be interrupted. Stubby my friend, you got a talent for surprising laughs like that.

Now, Racist Stereotypes, You've been dealt a very obscene gesture...
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Postby RunsWithLegos » Mon Dec 06, 2010 12:37 pm

good. the red DSM know their place, and are building a bridge for their new masters.
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Postby stubby » Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:27 pm

All right! After some tech support from the webhost I can continue where we left off.

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Natalya's two surviving cosplayers, both armed, take cover under the index finger, snuggled up next to the Jesuses.

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It's been half a week since Paco asked to put in orders, so I guess I'm not waiting for him anymore.

The Gamma Corps beer retrieval squad springs into action. Two in front run forward to push the fighting Ninja and Yoda into the lava - both fail. Two in back begin building a bridge. The armed squadsman stands ready, unsure of whom to attack first.

The Space Commies run forward, but the Ninjas refuse to let them pass! Two Commies are shoved backwards, almost off the edge of the table. a third resists, and shoves a Ninja into the lava, where he breaks through and is toast. The armed Commie attacks the nearby Yoda with his Hammer of the Proletariat, but once again this Yoda is immune to attack.

The two Commies still standing grab the Disrupted Ninja and chuck him in the lava with his buddy. One of the Commies remembers to swipe his bone saw as he goes down in flames.

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The Ninjas continue attacking the Yoda. Still no luck.

Two of the Ninjas start building a bridge out to rescue the Dr. McNinja they knocked out earlier. "Ninjas have to stick together! No hard feelings, right?"

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The Yoda who's getting attacked from all sides manages to Shove a Commie out onto the lava crust. No problem; it doesn't break. The Yoda is still stuck in Close Combat with the Ninja however.

The Yodas on the rim think about tossing some rocks into the lava for stepping stones, but realize that they don't have enough Move to run back, grab stones, and still jump across before the turn was up and the stones sank. Instead, they use them to bridge the gap.

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Three of the Gunners are stuck in Close Combat. They try and Shove their attackers into lava, but all three fail. Meanwhile, the Akkadian who survived falling in lava suddenly has all his skin and uniform paint flake off due to delayed-reaction horrible burn injuries. He's still fine, he just looks cooler now.

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The final Gunner has managed to Reload his machine gun. Judging the nearby unarmed HDISW Man as no threat, he starts spraying bullets at the RedShirts and FALX. Two RedShirts are hit, but only one is killed. The FALX leader continues proclaiming "Let me repeat, everyone here is now slaves to the HURK-" as a bullet catches him in the throat.

That closes out the round for everyone I didn't get to in the last two posts, I've already got a pile of orders for the next round so I'll start collating them now.
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Postby Robot Monkey » Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:37 pm

poor Redshirt, his DSM's are getting blown away. Meh, survival of the fittest.
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Postby RunsWithLegos » Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:49 pm

DAMN! at least the red shirt slaves knew their plase and took thoes bullets to save as many of their new masters as possible.

edit one
hey Red Shirt if you keep building that bridge i'll pass the bricks up to you.

edit two
could we get a over veiw pic?
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Postby Robot Monkey » Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:07 pm

@RunsWithLegos

okay, you just insulted him, and then you ask him for help? You really are a n00b.
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Postby RunsWithLegos » Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:10 pm

Who said you could talk slave? get back to the kitchen.
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Postby stubby » Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:44 pm

I need to get a "like" button for posts.

Here's the overview:

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Postby RunsWithLegos » Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:52 pm

stubby wrote:
Here's the overview:


thank you very much ... now to plan :twisted:
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Postby Killer Karetsu » Wed Dec 08, 2010 2:14 am

Hey, elmagnifico, I'm sure you don't like the commies so leave me alone so that I'll take care of them.

And Paco, would that be okay if your mcninja on my side would either help to build the bridge or fight the commies?

I'll send orders when I'm answered.
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Postby ForlornCreature » Wed Dec 08, 2010 5:25 am

Meh, no point in PMing, just continue around towards the bridge.
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