I have a few things to say: I do Order of Initiative based on when orders are received, and I have a deadline of 3 days after I post a turn for orders. Also, response fire is still hard even after all these years so while I try, don’t be hatin’
Channel 4 News Team
The reporter get’s on top of the van, and announces to the whole world:
[quote=”Reporter”]We will be off to interview the heroes of all the factions. After all, news reports can be beneficial when pulled off well, and can serve as excellent propaganda. Let us warn though, that any hero that kills one of us will incur a permanent -5 penalty on their heroic feats.[/quote]
They then move up towards the factions.
Peaches
The peaches gun the hoverbikes at full speed towards the Trattorian Death Wall.
Meanwhile, half of the infantry take a shot at Warhead.
Which results in Warhead losing a hitpoint. This only increases his rage, however.
The others go on their own separate path and fire at the Brittannians.
The cowardly Brittannian Hero grabs two of the nearest grunts to absorb the shots for him. After going through that many bodies the bullets bounce off harmlessly.
Afterwards, everybody moves up.
The Peach Hero, a Legit-eye Master, utilizes his Farce Mind Control Powers. But on whom?
A cow, of course, becomes rampant and...
Joins the peach forces.
Assyrians
All the Assyrians move up. The Assyrian SDT’s rather short main gun is not in range of its Trattorian counterpart, however.
Everybody else, also being out of range of the peaches, instead focuses their fire on the immortals.
About half of the riflemen gang up Warhead and burrow through the remainder of his hit points. His flame goes out, but it’s still smoldering enough to be useful as a cigarette lighter.
Warhead’s disrupted spirit, however, curses the others’ dice rolls and causes two to crit-fail and asplode their rifles.
Their colleagues can do without the failures, however, and succeed in taking out the lone Terrorkhan. Geezers, he sure was terrifying.
The peaches, of course, believe they are safe from the wrath of Assyria, until the SDT’s main particle beam phalanx turns towards them.
The overkill damage ended up frying the Peach Hero, an officer, and a footsoldier.
Brittannians
Immediately, the Brittannian Hero and a footsoldier hijack the pick-up truck.
Everybody then proceeds to advance in the direction of the wall.
The Red Berets attempt to kill some Trattorians-however, not a single one of their weapons do damage,
Suddenly, a Brittannian Jetpacker onboard the airship HMS Indefatigable is summoned by the royal engineer to assist in firing his experimental Gauss Cannon.
Perhaps the engineer should have stayed in his lab- both of them crit-fail in firing the cannon and it subsequently develops a malfunction.
Finally, the remaining jetpacker fires his rifle at the Trattorian SDT in a futile attempt to destroy it. As predicted, nothing happens.
Silvarians
The Silvarian riflemen focus fire on the remaining immortal.
It soon becomes apparent what powers this immortal- Veila- has. The Silvarians find their minds’ focus almost subconsciously trailing off, with only one bullet hitting its mark, a wound easily shrugged off by the trained immortal.
She then completely disappears without a trace. Unlike others with a stealth ability, Veila cannot be detected unless she makes a kill.
(Based off of Loveless in Scythe’s Landfall Short)
Unfazed, the Silvarian tank attempts to destroy its Jewish counterpart.
It only succeeds in scratching the paint job and knocking off a size point.
Frustrated by their team’s lack of success, the rocket-men decide to blow the Super Jew shuttle back to Israel.
But of course, only one rocket hits, and even that fails to inflict any major damage on the fighter.
Finally, the Silvarian hero sprints towards the Trattorian SDT.
Civilians
All civilians begin gathering to what they believe is a safer location, the yellow general store.
Time-Traveling Super Jews
Everybody advances.
The tank, then, decides to crush the civilians’ hopes for safety, and destroy the yellow general store.
Everybody nearby is disrupted, and the civilians will just have to find a better place to hide.
Trattorian Armor Corps
The mecha hops up as far as its movement and a little bit of fudge will allow to gain better range and vantage.
The SDT commander then orders that the super tank fire its main cannon at the “shitty Brittannian flyer” in his own words.
Yep, these are all the 6-sided dice that I have. And it’s not even accounting bonus dice and the turret machine guns.
The Brittannian flying boat sustains 3 points of size damage- what’s more worrying, however, is how the machine-guns knocked off one of the rotor-turbines.
It then spectacularly crashes into the lake, Michael Bay style, and causes an explosion and splashes and fire and everything you would expect. The Aerial Death Platform, while an awesome idea, is just never going to take off.
As one flyer falls, however, a few others are launched, ready to keep Banfull from unintelligent hands.
Meanwhile, the dreadnuts move up and protect the door, in the event it is [rammed] open.
Finally, the Trattorian SDT’s little brother decides to prove itself and runs over the pathetic remains of the Brittanian Aerial Death Platform, firing its weapons madly at the peaches.
It manages to destroy one hoverbike-however, the Jedi riding it escape unharmed.
Trattorian Infantry
(Yes, Ross, I know your not sending in orders was probably not your fault, but my schedule has to keep moving so don’t take it personally.)
Well, there still has to be consequences, so a scientist suddenly reports that there is a shortage of Ambien sleeping pills that they are using to pacify Banfull. Their current stock will only last for 5 turns and the only supply of it in the local area is in the yellow general store.
Meanwhile, the beer-cart man chills around because Trattorians hate beer.
Immortals
Veila suddenly reveals herself, attacking a peach.
Failing to harm him, however, she then disappears again.
Suddenly, a booming voice echoes across the plains.
DID SOMEBODY SAY, IMMORTALS?
SECRET FACTION D UNLOCKED: SCYTHIANS
Shadowscythe, dressed like a Japanese schoolgirl (ignore if you don’t get the reference), is accompanied by two Scythian Marines. He aims only to shoot up as many immortals as he can get his hands on (he also secretly wants to kill Natalya, I guess).
Overviews
Kill Table:
Channel 4 News Team:
Kills: 0
Casualties: 0
Scandals Uncovered: 0
Peaches:
Kills: 2
Casualties: 3
Assyrians:
Kills: 5
Casualties:
Brittannians:
Kills: 0
Casualties: 2
Silvarians:
Kills: 0
Casualties: 0
Civilians:
Kills: 0
Casualties: 0
Time Traveling Super Jews:
Kills: 0
Casualties: 0
Trattorian Armor Corps:
Kills: 0
Casualties: 0
Trattorian Infantry:
Kills: 0
Casualties: 0
Scythians:
Kills: 0
Casualties: 0
SEND IN YOUR ORDERS NOW (BY JULY 9)
