The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican Spies

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The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican Spies

Postby Gh0st » Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:58 am

Yes, You read that right. If the title length limit was shorter it would have said "The Heist: Armed Robbers, SWAT teams, Explosive Clowns and homeschooled Mexican Spies".
Yup.
It sure was a good day.
SETUP
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An overview of the carnage that will soon occur. I wasn't really playing with the rules, just quikwars with lots of improv, so keep that in mind.
Points of Interest:
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Cash Counter. Barrier which has to be crossed once the heist starts. Theres a cop back there too.
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Accountants. Just a bunch of workers. The woman in red is Mr. Formagio's assistant penny.
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Mr. F's office. Theres a cash box in the corner
In 3 turns SWAT team shows up.
CHARACTERS
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The robbers. L to R: Charlie, Knives, Butch and Harry.
Objective: Steal the cash box.
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Senor Suave (pronounced SWAH-VAY), super-slick mexican superspy, Senor Suave is a master of marksmanship, disguise, and, well, you'll see :warhead:. He's also one of the only two heroes in this game.
Objective: Kill Mr. F and steal the cash box.
TURN 1:
Turn order: Robbers, Senor Suave, Police, misc. people.
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The robbers enter.
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Harry stands unsuspiciously by a guard.
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Charlie, Knives and Butch move up into the various lines.
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Suave sits typing idly at his chicken, trying to think of a way to complete his mission.
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Police have nothing to do so it goes to civillians. Penny walks past Suave.
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Various people move about.
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Using his unused heroic feat, Suave stands up
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Grabs Penny
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channels Speedy Gonzalez
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and quickly switches clothes with Penny!
Suave, senor. Muy suave.
TURN 2!
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People are still shuffling about when the officer notices harry.
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I swear that clown is up to something.
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"HEY YOU'RE THAT BANK ROBBER GUY"
Now might be a good time to start the heist.
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WHACK
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Harry pulls on his mask and whips out his gun.
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The others do the same.
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BLAM, Harry gets the first kill of the game!
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"ALRIGHT NOBODY MOVE!" Shouts Charlie, as Butch and Knives pull their guns on the cashiers.
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Senor Suave makes his way to the office disguised as penny.
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"Hola".
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"Ah, penny are you here for my trash? its getting a bit full"
"No, senor..."
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"I am here for joo" *tries to act sexy*
"Oh my..."
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civvies blurriedly run away.
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(reaction) Charlie fires at the civvies but fails to hit anything, and Harry shot that guy with glasses.
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Police move up
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Butch LOSES HIS HEAD HAHAHAHAHA
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Charlie shoots back as a reaction but fails to hit anything.
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The second policeman fires...
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And Charlie LOSES HIS HEAD HAHAHAHAHAHA
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I'm really not sure what to say here.
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The clown runs up and tosses the first bomb...
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SMACK
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BAKOOM.
I really love this picture. He killed the two cops and a cashier.
TURN 3
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Harry and Knives run up.
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Knives blasts at Mr. F's bodyguards with his uzis.
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One guard takes a bullet to the throat.
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Civvies panick
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Swat team shows up, led by Leutenant Lefttenant, the other hero.
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"Freeze scumbag"
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LL tries to shoot him, but misses igniting the fuse of the dynamite.
LL:"OH FU-"
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LL uses his heroic feat to jump over his soldier...
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and use him for cover.
Soldier: "OH FU-"
KER-BLOOEY
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All the swat officers have their bodies blown off, leaving their legs standing. LL is left with just a torso. THe clown is but a red smear.
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Eew.
TURN 4
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Knives runs forward and sprays his uzis with harry doing the same
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Killing two civvies and the bodyguard.
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The civvie tries to attack Knives.
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Bad idea.
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The civ goes down.
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LL dives past the door with his feat
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But totally fails.
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The two run forward
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KICK
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"FREEZE YOU MOTHER-"
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...
:wtc:
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"Ay ay ay!"
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"Knives what is it? Whats going onNNNNNNEAAAARRRGH MY EYES"
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Using his hardened ass muscles, Senor Suave picks Mr. F up...
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WHAM
tosses him against the wall
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And, in one swift movement, draws his gun...
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PAK
and shoots Knives dead.
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Senor Suave dodges the shots.
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"FREEZE"
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CHOOM
Serve and protect, ladies and gentlemen.
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ker-click
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Suave slams the door shut and fires rapidly through it.
PAKPAKPAKPAK
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LL takes a bullet to his big dumb face.
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The winner, by a landslide, SEEENOOOOOOOOR SU-
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"cough cough, penny, why? I loved you!"
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"Mi amor, la bibloteca son hamburgesa."
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PAKAPAKPAKSPAKPKAPKAPKAPAK
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-UAAAVEEEEEEE
Last edited by Gh0st on Sat Nov 30, 2013 5:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Postby heavyfishcannon » Sun Aug 26, 2012 1:36 pm

My love, the hamburger is the library? :wtc:

Other than that it was an interesting little battle, and this is pretty close to what I imagine happened durning the failed heist in Reservoir Dogs.
"there are no bystanders in the battle for survival. anyone who will not fight by your side is an enemy you must crush"
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Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Postby Quantumsurfer » Sun Aug 26, 2012 2:39 pm

This made me laugh. :D
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Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Postby Pwnerade » Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:05 am

:wtc:

I lol'd.
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Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Postby Bragallot » Tue Aug 28, 2012 5:33 am

When I saw the title I knew this was going to be win :lol:

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Bragallot wrote:
lawmaster wrote:Kill the guy I'm in cc with.
He's already dead.
Kill him again.
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Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Postby Killer Karetsu » Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:50 am

:lol: This was a great read, thanks!
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Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Postby Cytheran » Mon Sep 03, 2012 12:39 pm

Wtf just happened lol
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Re: The Heist: Armed Robbers, Explosive Clowns and Mexican S

Postby Thesson » Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:10 pm

Am I the only one that heard Suave's voice in my head as Speedy Gonzales?
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