Rainbow War II: Jellybean Apocalypse: Grail War, Turn 2

[Sir Sporktimus]

I wonder if there are any Secret Factions/reserve units still lying around that an interested bystander might aspire to command?

Yes. At the current rate of turn completion, the first ones will be arriving in 2027.

Well, in 2027, just hit me up and I'd be honored to play.

[stubby]

Previous: Post 302936

ORCS
Player: Silverdream




Archer orcs in the lookout tree open fire on the knights below.




At the same time, archers on wolfback burst from the gate, adding their arrows to the attack.

Under fire from both sides, a few arrows find their way in through chinks in the knights' armor (Overskill damage), but just barely fail to score any kills.




While the knights are distracted by the orc archers, the trolls rush up from both directions.




A pair of clubs smash down onto the knights! One knight is smashed completely by a critical hit. The other raises his shield in time to parry the blow, even though it's weighed down by a dead shitgoat. Caught between the troll's club and the shield, the shitgoat is splattered everywhere.




The surviving knights counterattack, both hitting. The shit-covered knight's strike fails to do any harm, but the still-shiny center knight scores a critical hit and takes down the second troll.




The catapult orc busies himself cleaning up the top half of the burning Overwatch idol and loading it back into the catapult again.

CATAPULT ORC: gross

Just then, a mysterious orcish figure jumps up from inside the wall and onto the fortress gate.




He breaks off a tiny piece of one of the stone spires and surveys the battlefield. He seems to briefly consider King MethHouse's siege tower.




He tosses the chunk of stone into the air and delivers a mighty whack with his hammer.




In an unbelievable shot, the stone flies dozens of inches across the battlefield, striking a cauldron full of burning coals positioned above the main gate of VladTron's fortress. Flames spring up all over the main tower!

TWO-HAMMER: TWO-HAMMER, BEZT KING

[Tzan]

King MethHouse: "A challenger appears!"

[stubby]

SHITGOATS
Player: Overwatch_Elite




The increasing noise of battle awakens the inhabitants of another nearby tree. More shitgoats, even bigger and shittier than the last ones!




Wasting no time, the bigger shitgoats jump to the first tree and each grab a smaller shitgoat.

MAJOR SHITGOAT 1: Vami jihad!

MAJOR SHITGOAT 2: aiaiaiaiai

The larger shitgoats fire the smaller ones like projectiles. They splatter everywhere.




Attacks hit the already poop-covered knight, as well as the already-smashed one.




The attacks that miss all hit the surviving troll. He is completely covered in poop.




The surviving shitgoats run away from the fortress gate.


Next: Post 305110

[stubby]

That concludes turn 2 for the neutral teams.

Next up: VladTron forces, in this order:

• First fortress tier (Shadow Knights, Fortress Garrison, Bitches)
  Second tier (Pinkomancers, Spidola)
  Navy guys (Red Miles, Black Inches)
  VladTron
  Hexonxonx

So any of you guys can send in orders now, but mainly I need orders from Shadowscythe, Vami, and Butthurt.

[Zupponn]

Do you still have the orders I sent oh so long ago?

[stubby]

Yep. Still plenty of time to adjust them, if events require, but otherwise you're good.

[The Shadowscythe]

I forget.

[Tzan]

Lucky for you there are 4 prior pages and your own PMs to review.

[Zupponn]

Yep. Still plenty of time to adjust them, if events require, but otherwise you're good.

I don't think I should need to. I don't even remember what I sent in anyways.

[Ham]

Wow I forgot about this. I'm the worst.

[aoffan23]

How did I not miss a turn lol.

I was wondering when you were going to bust out the POOP monster. I knew you had one.

[Valiant]

Why does it take so long for people to send in their orders? If Zahru or Silent was hosting, this battle would have been finished months ago.

[stubby]

YEAH WHY DOES IT TAKE EVERYONE SO LONG TO SEND IN ORDERS

Just kidding, everyone sends in their orders just fine, I'm just very rarely home to carry them out. There's a lot of brikwars stuff I can do while traveling, but I can't carry this battle around with me.

[aoffan23]

That's what you get for having a life, loser.